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miserable

(14 Posts)
samcart Mon 20-May-13 10:15:16

Hi folks, I'm new on here and pregnant with my first child at 6 weeks. My mood is always sour. I'm currently a teacher and my patience had dwindled. I'm completely miserable. Surely I should be enjoying this? My mom is adamant thatshe enjoyed every second, but I'm really struggling. Please tell me that this will pass?

EllaFitzgerald Mon 20-May-13 10:18:39

Stop comparing how you feel to how your mum felt. Everyone has a different experience and you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself.

Had you thought about a career change before you got pregnant?

sagfold Mon 20-May-13 10:23:33

Relax. It will pass. Once you are pregnant and then a mother you will forever more be compared with/compare yourself to other mums. My advice- try not to listen or care. Your experience of pregnancy, birth and motherhood will be what it will be, in my own experience that included a lot of ambivalence. Give yourself some time to get used to the whole thing - and ignore your mother.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Mon 20-May-13 10:23:53

pah!

being pregnant sucks!

I love the end result, a gorgeous, Squishy baby, but my god I am terrible at being pregnant.

Morning/noon/night sickness to 20 weeks with DD, 16 weeks with DS.

No appetite at any time through either pg.

DD - obstetric choleostasis (sp?) resulting in 3am ice cold baths most nights just to stop the itching.

DS - PGP/SPD, Constant back pain and sleepless nights due to discomfort.

I am getting more sleep now that DS is here than I ever did in the 2nd and third trimester!

Then the birth, planned c-section and all the fun that brings (post op) including a wound infection that is only just healing (7 weeks on)

However. Sat here cuddling DS and with my lovely 9 yo at school, I am grateful to have my.children and love them with all my heart.

I'm just shite at being pg!

trice Mon 20-May-13 10:25:25

Sorry to hear that you are feeling low Sam cart. There are lots of things you could try if you need to make a change.

I hated the first trimester of my pregnancies as I was tired sick and hormonal. I suspect your mum might be looking back with rose coloured hindsight. Or perhaps she did love every minute. Lucky her.

Kirk1 Mon 20-May-13 10:31:03

Oh poor you to have a "perfect" mother. I had that with MIL. you are not your Mum, each pregnancy is different.

Some lucky women bounce through pregnancy with nothing much wrong, the rest of us suffer in one way or another (I cried, for no reason whatever with my middle DC, had dreadful itching with my first, and worried, constantly with DC3.) Be kind to yourself, it's the hormones speaking when you have less patience than before and that's not something you have huge control over!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Mon 20-May-13 10:32:18

sorry, my post was meant to show that not everyone sails through pregnancy with blooming and glowing and floating around with blue birds circling them grin

You will start to feel lots better after the first trimester. I did sail through weeks 17 to 26 ish, it was just the rest that was poo.

Don't judge yourself by other people's experiences. You will do of course,we all do , just accept that pregnancy is different for everyone and you are not alone or unusual in feeling miserable so early on (( gentle hugs))

CoffeeChocolateWine Mon 20-May-13 10:32:36

Nah...I don't know anyone who enjoyed the early weeks of pregnancy...they're awful! Have the bad moods and dwindling patience been since you fell pregnant?

From my experience the early weeks are miserable not enjoyable! I didn't suffer with morning sickness with either but I felt run down, knackered and miserable all the time. But it didn't last for the entire pregnancy...from around 16 weeks I got a new wave of energy and did enjoy being pregnant.

It will pass.

Congratulations by the way smile

Flobbadobs Mon 20-May-13 10:36:53

It's not the done thing irl to admit that pregnancy can be 9 months of shit!! grin
I have 3 and can safely say that as much as I love the DC's I could have done without the total of 27 months of sickness, heartburn and moodiness it took to get them here....
Actually I don't know one person that enjoyed every single minute of pregnancy, I do however know quite a few who have blanked out or forgotten the more challenging parts, which is what your Mum may well have done.

dreamingbohemian Mon 20-May-13 10:37:14

Soooooo many women are miserable in the early weeks, we just don't hear about it because A) people usually don't want to say they're pregnant until 12 weeks and B) there's such social pressure to be all happy and glowing.

At one point I spent 3 days in bed crying because I felt so so awful blush

So be kind to yourself! Hopefully you will feel much better soon, for now just try to get through it day by day.

DorothyMantooth Mon 20-May-13 10:37:33

Agree with trice. My DM constantly goes on about how much she enjoyed her PG and how I was a perfect baby who never cried etc. I actually quite enjoyed my PG but having had a traumatic MMC quite recently I was quite nervous, and I did have a few issues such as PGP. Now my lovely DD is here, she is a bit colicky and can get cranky (and loud about it). My DM's constant harking back to how great her pregnancy/babycare days were did make me feel like a bit of a failure for a while, until I became convinced that she was just looking back with rose-tinted glasses.

I think most mums do it once they've had a certain amount of distance, and even new mums don't often tell the truth about how they feel about things. I realised this when my NCT group were all comparing notes about how fab everything was going until one brave soul let out her true feelings, and everyone followed suit! Cue much relief.

DystopianReality Mon 20-May-13 10:41:55

There is such a thing as 'ante natal depression'. It may be a good idea to discuss this with your midwife who can screen for it.
It may pass, but if it doesn't, you don't want it to take a hold and overwhelm you when there are things that can be done to help.
I do hope you feel better soon.

Dolallytats Mon 20-May-13 10:54:24

samcart, I am currently 31 weeks pregnant and have pretty much moaned my way through the whole thing, and can't see me stopping until the end!! I feel crap, huge, achy and generally grumpy. Do I care? No!! I shall be lovely again when baby comes and until then, let me moan!!

Congratulations!!

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 20-May-13 11:25:17

I was a 'pregnancy sucks' woman at the beginning, but I'm now 19 weeks and have changed my mind!! Now the sickness has passed and I have got used to the wacky science experiment that is now my body... I'm really actually enjoying it. I started trying to find the positives because there are plenty of negatives (spd, weight gain, sickness, exhaustion, hormonal craziness - the list goes on).

I'm now focusing on my bigger boobies, feeling so womanly, being proud of my body for creating our baby, my DH being so caring and loving, my growing bump that actually makes me feel sexy, plus as a total bonus my libido has increased and sex feels amazing (sorry if TMI).. That list goes on too, and I've gone from never wanting to do this again to already feeling I will miss it and wondering how many kids I can cope with so I can experience it all again!! Hang in there, if does get better. smile

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