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to ask if anyone has been 'outed' in rl from mn?

(145 Posts)
newfavouritething Sun 19-May-13 21:41:41

It seems to crop up from time to time on some threads that some posters say that they're afraid of being outed in rl? Does this or has this actually happened? Is there really that many people reading this? Or is it just paranoia?

VivaLeBeaver Mon 20-May-13 11:53:07

I've totally recognised someone on here who I knew at the time in real life. She was bitching about a very specific situation (and me), I checked out her other posts and it was very definitely her. I never told her either on here or in real life that I'd recognised her.

YoniTime Mon 20-May-13 12:07:45

That must have been strange Viva did you reply to that thread?

VivaLeBeaver Mon 20-May-13 12:10:29

No I didn't, ignored it. I used to teach and it was one of my (now ex) college students been a bit daft and immature. So it didn't bother me and I didn't want to get into a slanging match.

BabyMakesTheBoobiesGoLeaky Mon 20-May-13 12:11:52

I'd be fairly recognisable and I think I recognised some other Republic of Cork people by how they phrase things but I doubt I know them.

lynniep Mon 20-May-13 12:15:49

yes a few times, but then my username is obvious and I use it elsewhere, and if I want to hide something I will just namechange.

BelleJolie Mon 20-May-13 12:30:15

I got outed once the way Autumnmadness describes... I knew I potentially would be outed but figured I'd never written anything I wouldn't say in RL so wasn't too bothered.

Although, having said that, I did change my username afterwards! I wasn't a huge fan of the person who outed me and didn't fancy watching everything I said in future...

BelleJolie Mon 20-May-13 12:33:56

<wonders if I've just outed self again>

imaginethat Mon 20-May-13 12:42:58

I once received a very narky PM from a DM writer who was upset that her work had been criticised in MN

Mintyy Mon 20-May-13 12:44:31

NO! not really? imaginethat. How funny.

imaginethat Mon 20-May-13 12:46:35

Yes really. It was just so, well, pathetic

DeWe Mon 20-May-13 13:06:20

AutumnMadness is right. Don't put a status on fb and then post it here word for word.

I recognised one of dsis' friends. Dsis had commented on her fb post, then I saw it on here. Very identifiable because it had mention of an appointment and things like that.
I didn't say anything. I nearly replied to both word for word, so she could take the hint without me saying anything. but I don't really know the friend-I've forgotten both posting name and real name by now, so decided it didn't matter.

StillSeekingSpike Mon 20-May-13 13:10:21

I recognised one of my colleagues from a visit she had made to a poster in a professional sense. The whole office was squealing about it grin. Luckily the Op was very complimentary.

bollockstoit Mon 20-May-13 13:49:06

I think I saw someone (who posts on here and has pictures of herself on her profile) on the train this morning! I assume she wouldn't be bothered about being recognised because of the pictures and the amount of personal detail she puts in her posts. I, however would not like to be recognised, and am due another name change.

BackforGood Mon 20-May-13 13:54:29

Only once (that they've told me anyway... I suppose there could be others who have recognised me and then not said anything...), which I'm quite surprised about really, considering I'm not particularly cautious or secretive about my life when I'm chatting on here, and that I've been on here a lot for about 10 years.

SvetlanaKirilenko Mon 20-May-13 13:56:02

Yes, I have been outed and it was pretty horrible (they got me in loads of trouble). Hence I name change regularly (and am a bit more careful what I say on here). It does happen and there are some nasty people out there and there are squillions of lurkers

AmazingBouncingFerret Mon 20-May-13 14:00:36


If I recognised someone I would sooo go up and say hello.

Ilovemyself Mon 20-May-13 14:01:06

I understand the need for privacy when you are asking for some advice ( is my partner having an affair? For instance)

But for anything else you should have the courage of your convictions and not be afraid to put your name to your posts. If you are ashamed of your views there is so,etching wrong!

Solari Mon 20-May-13 14:04:46

For me, the need for privacy is about more than just advice-asking situations.

Its about talking and sharing some deeply personal experiences and feelings in a relatively anonymous manner. Its not completely anonymous because people can and do get outed (I have), but precautions (namechanging) can minimise that.

Solari Mon 20-May-13 14:05:55

Otherwise, we might as well all have to register our real names and use those.

ReindeerBollocks Mon 20-May-13 14:09:05

Yes I've been recognised a couple of times (that'll teach me to post about my bizarre life). Doesn't really bother me, and has kind of taught me that I'm happy generally with the stuff that I post here as its what I would say in RL.

Would probably NC for anything massively personal.

I feel more sorry for the people who've had to read my boring posts!

GlitteryShitandDanglyBaubles Mon 20-May-13 14:25:19

I genuinely don't think anyone would care who I am in the 'real life' to which you are all referring to. I do namechange when the mood takes me, if I think of something especially ridiculous, but as you can see, I am still currently wearing a dodgy Xmas name.

But then again, I am posting about things personal to me but not things that are negative about me, iykwim, so, not things like 'I had friday night sex with my sister's dh.' But then I am an open book.

GlitteryShitandDanglyBaubles Mon 20-May-13 14:25:40

<hides behind book>

DuelingFanjo Mon 20-May-13 14:28:04

yep, I was. Horrible affair which involved some lovely mumsnetter emailing links to a member of my extended family. Still makes me angry thinking about it but I never found out who it was. Hopefully they know what a shit-storm it created.

TheYoniWayisGerard Mon 20-May-13 14:41:47

Not quite the same, but I recognised myself in a thread once. Not exactly complimentary either, although about half of it was untrue. I just ignored it. I haven't been outed by anyone though, but then I don't really post anything controversial or personal anyway, so it wouldn't matter too much.

MynameisKeith Mon 20-May-13 15:28:42

I have. I wrote a post about a friend, which they then saw. In my defence, I was trying to solve a long standing problem for them, but it turned out that they would rather have their problem than have hundreds (literally) of M'ners trying to solve it for them. smile

I de-registered for a while because of it, and have only just gathered the courage to come back. (Under a new username, obviously!)

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