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to ask if anyone has been 'outed' in rl from mn?

(145 Posts)
newfavouritething Sun 19-May-13 21:41:41

It seems to crop up from time to time on some threads that some posters say that they're afraid of being outed in rl? Does this or has this actually happened? Is there really that many people reading this? Or is it just paranoia?

FadedSapphire Mon 20-May-13 09:45:02

I was when my 'local' name same as 'main' name. A Mum at school queried whether I was -.
I changed my name. I am glad local name is different now to my main name [which I change every few months or so]. I'm not that fussed if recognised on local board but would be on main one.

noisytoys Mon 20-May-13 09:57:02

A fair few people on here know who I am in RL. I don't care and I won't name change. I don't have an alter ego so who I am on here is who I am in RL smile

LaQueen Mon 20-May-13 10:08:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarpeVinum Mon 20-May-13 10:12:30

It happens.

On a board I used to be very active on one woman lost her job becuase some poster worked out who she was, and sent copies of her posts on to her employer.

Basically I think a good rule of thumb is don't reveal or say anything here that you wouldn't in RL cos it could leave you mortified or vulnerable.

The anonymity is more illusion than reality, and people forget that.

No need to be paranoid, just don't detach from your RL self censorship in terms of what you say and how you say it.

TheSecondComing Mon 20-May-13 10:16:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NigelYerABawbag Mon 20-May-13 10:19:07

Yeah, I have been recognised on here, by someone I do know IRL but hadn't seen/heard from for years. Luckily she is nice smile but it did make me more careful about what I post.

AutumnMadness Mon 20-May-13 10:43:27

I recognised one of the posters once. Hint - do not post the same message on Mumsnet and on Facebook. But I never told her, never followed her posts and promptly forgot her Mumsnet user name. I think online privacy is very important and just don't want to be in possession of any kind of knowledge of anyone's life like this.

I've not been but am pretty identifiable if someone could be arsed to look for me.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 20-May-13 11:24:00

I had someone pm me fairly recently and ask if I was who she thought I was. Wasnt a problem because of the way she handled it but I have to admit to being terrified of this in general.

MTBMummy Mon 20-May-13 11:24:25

I have, but it was by someone I like and I didn't mind her knowing what I was going through.

I have a seperate name for more sensitive issues that I don't want people in RL to know about.

SPsCliffingAllOverMN Mon 20-May-13 11:24:26

No. I am easily recognisable though but I don't know anyone who comes on here.

Kewcumber Mon 20-May-13 11:27:35

Yes twice. Once in tesco, once in school.

I don't mind. I'm careful about what I say. Honest, but careful.

ConfusedPixie Mon 20-May-13 11:28:22

I haven't, but like sp I'm very easily recognisable if you know me and happen to see a few of my posts on mn. I don't particularly care.

Tee2072 Mon 20-May-13 11:29:22

Oh please. The whole world knows my posting name, my real life name and everything about me.

I only use a nick name because it's fun.

And my nick name is actually, without the 2072, something I am called in real life by many many people.

It's not a dirty little secret, you know, being on MN.

Mintyy Mon 20-May-13 11:30:22

I recognised someone I know in rl once from her posts on Mumsnet. Tis why I namechange for the sensitive stuff.

Mintyy Mon 20-May-13 11:31:51

Its not a dirty little secret, of course not, but some posters do like to retain a modicum of privacy.

paperclips Mon 20-May-13 11:32:12

If someone who knew me in RL read my posts they'd know who I was because I'd probably have told the same stories, recounted the same old non-sleeping baby problems etc.

If I was writing anything I didn't want people in RL to read I would (and have) name changed. I'm pretty sure a fair few mums I know are on mumsnet but I have never recognised them and we would never discuss whether we use it.

Just waiting to here someone in RL say "did you mean to sound so rude?"

EleanorHandbasket Mon 20-May-13 11:33:53


Sometimes horribly.

I really should stop posting.

cherhorowitz Mon 20-May-13 11:35:45

I have. I've NC'ed as I was outed through every fault of my own.

HauntedArmchairOfDoom Mon 20-May-13 11:36:11

All the fucking time <sigh>

This is why I NC constantly. Indeed, I am long overdue another!

Solari Mon 20-May-13 11:38:36

I've been outed, more than once by different people.

Now I namechange regularly, might still get outed, but at least I haven't left such a long trail of highly personal information when it happens.

I should probably just post with less revealing details, but I can't seem to help myself (especially when empathising with people who've been through similar, or who aren't spotting warning signs I recognise from experience).

5madthings Mon 20-May-13 11:41:11

Yep I had a problem or rather dp did as the teens he worked with found me on here. It was totally random, in that I had a post quoted by the daily fail...about frubes yogurts... They saw the paper and the comment and my username at that point was a nickname my dp gave our four boys and something he referred to them as. The teens he worked with the looked up my username on mnet and reading the posts realized it was me. They gave him some grief at work esp as them looking me up coincided with a big thread I had posted in aibu....

Mnet HQ very kindly deleted the thread for me smile

Oh and one now banned mnetter got Ina hump with me and managed to find me on fb and twitter! I blocked her and again mnhq were very kind offered to retrospectively change my name if I wanted smile

Solari Mon 20-May-13 11:42:16

Don't think being on MN is a dirty secret (especially as the outers tend to be on MN themselves!)

But sometimes things happen in life that you don't want random people who know you to know about (ie. miscarriage, abortion, previous DV, family squabbles).

Part of the appeal of MN is that you can talk about things you feel uncomfortable sharing with people face to face.

Pascha Mon 20-May-13 11:44:26

I'd be quite excited if someone did. Its very unlikely though, I don't know many people that well IRL.

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