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to contact him!

(28 Posts)
larvalamp Sun 19-May-13 16:20:02

I went to college with this guy and we were really good friends with an undercurrent of romantic feelings that we never really openly expressed. It was one of those, if we take the plunge will it ruin our friendship type scenarios. It was quite intense. Anyway we drifted apart finally and lost contact after college although I often thought about him with regret.

Anyway, fast forward 20 years and I dreamt about him the other night and when I woke googled him and found him straight away, photo and all and he immediately just was obviously this really nice guy I used to know. So, would I be unreasonable to contact him? I am absolutely not looking for romance, am happily married with kids, or even to meet up, he lives in another country just feel creepy looking at his profike on-line and not identifying myself. Just want to say I remember him fondly and am glad he seems to be doing well.

What do you think?

Leverette Sun 19-May-13 16:22:59

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Leverette Sun 19-May-13 16:23:54

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StuffezLaYoni Sun 19-May-13 16:24:35

Really, really no.

DorisIsWaiting Sun 19-May-13 16:25:05

No, despite what you are telling yourself there is every cxhance you would still feel the same about him. How is that fair on your dh / dc.

Why open pandora's box?

squoosh Sun 19-May-13 16:25:13

What would be the point?

bobthebear Sun 19-May-13 16:28:31

YABU. Be honest, you just want to know if he still fancies/thinks about you right? grin

Icelollycraving Sun 19-May-13 16:32:42

No. Don't do it,opening a can of worms.

livinginwonderland Sun 19-May-13 16:34:21

YABU, don't do it.

Cherriesarelovely Sun 19-May-13 16:40:28

No, don't. There are too many "what ifs?"

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 19-May-13 16:40:30

I am suddenly psychic and am predicting a completely unanimous MN thread. You would be completely U to contact him and you know it.

AgentZigzag Sun 19-May-13 16:50:53

<spirally hypnotised eyes> You would be completely U to contact him and you know it.


(That's the most credible evidence I've come across that The Ability exists, and you have it MrsT grin)

LaurieFairyCake Sun 19-May-13 16:57:03

Of course you should! What if you were destined to be together, what if lambs gambolled, kittens purred and the universe was filled with the joyful singing of a romance and love that endures........

<not really>

get a grip !

loopylou6 Sun 19-May-13 17:05:39

and would you be planning on telling your dh you'd contacted him?

stopmovingthefurniture Sun 19-May-13 17:16:11

I understand the wanting to contact him. Very difficult. In my opinion, this is a definite downside to marriage. But you're being naïve in thinking you could control what would happen next, either in your heart or his. I bet your DH wouldn't like it either (consider if the shoe was on the other foot). I wouldn't. It was probably a mistake to even look him up online. There will always be a road untaken.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 19-May-13 17:26:49

grin Agent.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 19-May-13 17:33:05

There's a reason why you drifted apart. Keep focused on that, put the rose tinted glasses down and think about your DH smile

LaRegina Sun 19-May-13 17:38:38

Yes absolutely go for it.

That is, as long as you would be 100% happy if you DH told you he had been dreaming about a long lost almost-girlfriend; had then googled her; found her; and was going to contact her smile

HeffalumpTheFlump Sun 19-May-13 19:41:24

Erm no? Are u actually happy in your marriage?? Because you seem to be looking for something else. What's missing? YABU, it's really not fair on your DH.

ElizaBecca Sun 19-May-13 19:47:18

Don't do it, it hurts too much. Exes are that for a reason, or those who could have been flames weren't for similar reasons - dont do it!

LittleMissGerardButlerfan Sun 19-May-13 19:49:08

I think you know in your heart of hearts it's the wrong thing to do or you wouldn't have posted.

I understand your curiosity but no good can come of this.

IvorHughJarse Sun 19-May-13 19:49:48

Yes, go for it! What a fabulous idea!

Not really. Just wanted to make the thread look a bit less YABU-y. Don't do it, and imagine how you'd feel if your DP did similar with an ex flirty friend. Not nice.

FreddieMisaGREATshag Sun 19-May-13 19:50:18

Why on earth would you do this?

AnyFucker Sun 19-May-13 19:52:20

are you completely crazy ?

Floggingmolly Sun 19-May-13 19:52:41

What outcome, however unlikely, are you hoping for?

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