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to ask this man at work out over email?

(51 Posts)
SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 10:24:59

He sits on the opposite side of the room to me and I have quite a school girl crush on him, even though I've never spoken to him. I get the impression that he only really speaks to people in his department.

Would it be creepy if I sent him an email? (on the system at work everyones work email is listed)

If it was the other way around and a man sent a woman an email it would be viewed as sweet, but I think a woman sending a man an email could be seen as desperate.

(He is also single btw)

HollyBerryBush Sun 19-May-13 10:26:06

Why can't you speak to him?

MalcolmTuckersMum Sun 19-May-13 10:26:22

I wouldn't. What if he's not interested at all? Has he given you any hint that he might be? If he bums you out then you've got to spend the rest of forever sitting opposite him wishing you hadn't been such a donk!

Rindercella Sun 19-May-13 10:26:57

I wouldn't if I were you. Remember that work emails are not private so someone in your IT department - or your manager shock - could see it.

No chance of bumping into him at the photocopier or coffee machine?

FreddieMisaGREATshag Sun 19-May-13 10:27:37

Not over work email. That could leads to all kinds of a shitstorm depending on your work policy on email and internet use.

HollyBerryBush Sun 19-May-13 10:28:05

Does he go to lunch? follow him into the lift, contrive a meeting in the café, sandwich shop and have a conversation.

NoelHeadbands Sun 19-May-13 10:29:09

If you haven't even approached him, then yes


And I'd say the same if it was a man sending to a woman grin

flossy101 Sun 19-May-13 10:29:38

I wouldn't, what if he didn't reply?

could you not engineer a meeting, follow him when he goes to the canteen, on his way out at home time etc? And get chatting that way?

SavoyCabbage Sun 19-May-13 10:29:50

Nooooooo, don't. You need to speak to him if you want to go out with him.

livinginwonderland Sun 19-May-13 10:30:02

work e-mails aren't private! plus, you've never even spoken to him before. bump into him and get to know him smile

Salmotrutta Sun 19-May-13 10:30:27

I always go with the motto:
"Never put anything in a work e-mail that you wouldn't be happy to show the world"

Works for me.

janey68 Sun 19-May-13 10:31:00

Big no no to do this over work email! And that applies both ways round- I would say the same to a man.
What on earth is wrong with striking up a real life conversation ?

Salmotrutta Sun 19-May-13 10:31:23

And yes, it would be a bit weird too.

Ragwort Sun 19-May-13 10:32:46

Surely no one thinks it is 'sweet' if a man asks a woman out over email hmm - or have I just been out of the workplace too long? I would think it totally inappropriate.

What is wrong with the old fashioned way of chatting over coffee/the water cooler/photocopier <do they still exist grin?> /getting to know each other in a meeting or whatever your work environment is and then asking him out if there is any 'interest'? wink

HollyBerryBush Sun 19-May-13 10:34:20

If he fancied you, there would have been eye contact across a crowded floor by now.

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 10:34:52

Oh .... sad Guess I'll just have to let this one go.

We don't have a lift at work and only have 10 minute breaks and half an hour lunch - always at different times during the day. So it's unlikely we would ever have one at the same time.

Salmotrutta Sun 19-May-13 10:34:58

I remember when offices had those funny machines that had a turning handle - Bandas? - they made inky looking copies.

And carbon paper <sighs nostalgically>

Salmotrutta Sun 19-May-13 10:36:55

Surely you could find a reason to loiter with intent in his general deskage area?

Drop something and spend ages tidying it up?

<disclaimer: I am clueless>

SeeingTheLight Sun 19-May-13 10:37:45

What on earth is wrong with striking up a real life conversation ?

I'm not a shy person and I would prefer a real life conversation, but I have no reason to ever go over to his side of the room - the photocopier and water cooler is right next to me, and he's never used either of them whilst I've been there.

Ragwort Sun 19-May-13 10:38:28

Salmon - do you remember the telex machines as well (not even sure if that is the right word?? grin. I even learned to type on a manual typewriter, so excited when I got a 'golf ball' !!!!

<completely off topic now>

NoelHeadbands Sun 19-May-13 10:38:55

But you do have a reason to go over to his side of the room- to strike up a conversation with him!

LeaveTheBastid Sun 19-May-13 10:39:31

I'd be mortified if someone I probably didn't even know existed sent me an email via the work system shock

Don't do it, honestly. If you won't approach him in person then just keep him as what he is, something pretty to look at when the day drags. He could be an absolute dick for all you know!

HollyBerryBush Sun 19-May-13 10:40:13

telex machines, with the ticker tape that you shoved in and it punched little holes out?

Ronex, with the pink tippex stuff?

ah those were the days

Ragwort Sun 19-May-13 10:41:25

What sort of environment do you work in that 'you would never have reason to go his side of the room'? Genuine question, I can't imagine working in an office where you wouldn't speak to other colleagues, even if it is just a chat about the weather/working conditions/something in the news - do you really, really not have the opportunity to say 'good morning' to him?

How big is your office?

But I am from the era where we used to have regular sherry parties every Friday - My boss had a drinks cabinet in her room grin - guess that wouldn't be allowed these days !

HollyBerryBush Sun 19-May-13 10:41:30

>light bulb<

I am genius, I am - why don't you organise a general Friday night after works drink and send out a whole floor email?

Used to work in my world grin

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