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The third DC - the marriage wrecker??

(94 Posts)
TheCountessOlenska Sat 18-May-13 20:42:48

Someone I know was saying that she reckons that when the third child comes along is when the husband goes bonkers and runs off with his secretary. She said she knows loads of couples this has happened to (I know of two of them myself to be fair)

So, surely this isn't true of the general population??

Sleepingbunnies Sat 18-May-13 20:44:32

I hope not, but sadly I know of one!

RiotsNotDiets Sat 18-May-13 20:44:44

Not for my parents, but my husband managed it with just one DC.... maybe it's not the number of children, but having a twunt for a husband that does it?

KD0706 Sat 18-May-13 20:45:22

I can think off the top of my head of three couples I know who have three or more children. All still together.

The divorced people I know have either had none or one child.

I suspect that if a husband (or wife??) wants to run off with their secretary they will do so regardless of number of children ...

Branleuse Sat 18-May-13 20:48:24

the stress of 3 nearly broke us twice. I think it takes a special sort of organised person to deal with 3 with no breakdowns

mercibucket Sat 18-May-13 20:51:14

never heard of this, and cant say it matches what i see in rl either.

mybigarse Sat 18-May-13 20:52:03

My ex-H left me for a pole dancer a few months after I had my 3rd DS.

Sadly I am not joking.

peteypiranha Sat 18-May-13 20:53:14

I have never encountered anyone thats ran off with the secretary in rl. However of someone did I doubt it would be due to number of kids it would be that they didnt have a very strong relationship to start with.

fizzzness Sat 18-May-13 20:53:47

Weird , I've been thinking about this recently. I'm a third child, divorced parents.

I'm sticking at two

Fakebook Sat 18-May-13 20:54:24

Wtf?! I've never heard this. Surely by the third child you know what mistakes not to make and know how to help each other cope? confused.

I'm pregnant with dc3 and (touch wood) things have been better this time so far than with dc1 or dc2. DH is more in tune and helpful this time.

I really hope this isn't a popular trait in the population. <nervous emoticon>

anchovies Sat 18-May-13 20:56:13

Our third was the easy one in comparison to the second! If anyone was going to run off it would be in the first few months after ds2s birth. By the third we were both much happier and much more chilled out!

ShadowStorm Sat 18-May-13 20:57:56

I think a husband who's the type to go bonkers and run off with secretaries would do so regardless of the number of children they have.

bigkidsdidit Sat 18-May-13 20:59:19

huh, never thought of it before but the two families I know with 3 children have both just broken up

HollyBerryBush Sat 18-May-13 21:00:20

We've hung in for thirteen years after DS3 - tho I have to say it has had its ups and down, but they are mainly caused by DS1!

TheCountessOlenska Sat 18-May-13 21:00:31

Sorry Facebook - I don't really believe it, but my friend was convinced!

Having pondered it further, I wonder if it has something to do with the third child sometimes being a bit of a surprise? (the two couples I am thinking of, I know that the third pregnancy was unplanned) So the theory wouldn't apply to a planned third child.

SantanaLopez Sat 18-May-13 21:02:10

The plural of anecdote doesn't equal evidence, but all the divorced couples I know only have 1.

ShadowStorm Sat 18-May-13 21:03:09

But if it's down to unplanned pregnancies, why single out third children?
That theory would apply equally to couples with an unplanned first or second child.

Chilliandbanana Sat 18-May-13 21:04:35

Nope, all divorced couples I know have one or no children.

I have 3 DC's and my husband hasn't run off with a secretary but that could be because he doesn't have one grin

Loulybelle Sat 18-May-13 21:05:55

My Dsis and BIL have coped with 3 children, 2 step children, and the death of one of their children.

Its down to bad luck, if you married a man twatty enough to do such a thing.

spiritedaway Sat 18-May-13 21:06:22

I have heard 3rd children referred to as glue babies. . In that couples on the rocks decide on a 3rd to make it so i guess in that situation they are more likely to break it.

TheCountessOlenska Sat 18-May-13 21:08:03

I wonder if 2 to 3 puts more financial pressure on than say 1 to 2 or 3 to 4 ( bigger car, bigger house, no hols etc)

MotheringShites Sat 18-May-13 21:08:58

3 sent us to the brink! We're ok now.

MacaYoniAndCheese Sat 18-May-13 21:11:33

My FIL ran off with his secretary after DH (DC3!) was born. To be fair though, he's a complete and utter asshole in every way...perhaps men with the asshole 'chip' are more likely to take-off with floozies in times of stress?

Mandy21 Sat 18-May-13 21:13:37

I'm not sure Number 3 is always a marriage wrecker - but its obviously an extra factor to give a couple less time together, less money, makes things more stressful. And it also depends on what has gone before - our number 3 was a breeze in the early days after we'd had premature twins first time round. I actually think couples who have twins are 3 times more likely to get divorced than those with singletons. Add in a 3rd child and its a surprise my DH and I are still together!

LittleMissLucy Sat 18-May-13 21:14:50

I think statistically, the parents of multiples (twins, triplets) are supposed to be under more pressure and are therefore more likely to split. Maybe if there are three back-to-back it has a similar effect.

On the secretary front - I had a friend whose dad did exactly that. My friend never spoke to or saw the dad, or her sister again. It divided the family of four, into two.

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