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Evening meal 6.30 for 9&11 yo DC's is NOT 'too late'...

(141 Posts)
wol1968 Fri 17-May-13 14:15:35

I'm fed up of DH chuntering and grumbling if I don't get the DCs' dinner done before 6pm. I do aim to do it, and we all do have dinner eaten and cleared up before 7pm on most nights. But with the best will in the world, I get days when my timing slips. Interruptions happen, preparation takes longer than intended, sometimes I'm not on form, I get sidetracked and my organisation is crap. AIBU to get really annoyed when 'D' H starts rolling his eyes and making critical mutterings about what I should have done when and know darn well exactly what I should have done when but I was being crap and didn't ? AIBU to be even more annoyed when we then get an 'unexpected' phone call from MIL (who always did 'tea' at five when hers were kids) in the middle of our meal, and H then has to disappear into the next room with the phone, pretending to have eaten, with me being the one to keep the kids quiet in the kitchen?

He says he does this so his mum doesn't tell him off. I told him it was none of his mum's business what time we had our evening meal. And I don't think 6.30 or thereabouts is that catastrophic for 9-11 year-olds anyway, is it? 7.30 might be taking the mick a bit on school nights, I suppose...

Off to keep up with the ironing.

noblegiraffe Fri 17-May-13 14:17:25

If he wants it earlier, presumably he knows where the kitchen is.

Pretending to your mother that you've already eaten wtf?

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 17-May-13 14:19:16

he sounds like a twat.

SandStorm Fri 17-May-13 14:19:17

You don't have to answer a ringing phone.

Mintyy Fri 17-May-13 14:19:42

Yanbu. My dc are 9 and 11 and we rarely eat before 6.30pm. Everyone was alive and happy and healthy when I last checked.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Fri 17-May-13 14:19:43

Your DH has issues.
We're lucky if we've started to eat by 7pm most evenings.

How does he help with meal prep other than rolling his eyes?

simonthedog Fri 17-May-13 14:19:56

maybe your DH could help so tea is ready earlier. I don't think 6.30pm is too late for 9 and 11 year olds though.

Mintyy Fri 17-May-13 14:20:07

Actually, mine are 9 and 12, just remembered blush.

Flyonthewindscreen Fri 17-May-13 14:20:28

Mine are 9 & 11 and no 6.30 not too late. We have dinner between 5.15-6.15 depending on activities, how hungary everyone is, etc. How ridiculous your DH pretending you have already had dinner in case his mum "tells him off"!

forevergreek Fri 17-May-13 14:20:44

We eat around 7pm every night, sometimes later. With 2 and 3 year old. No one would eat at 5pm, it's far to early, and we are busy around that time so it's when suits.

I'm assuming at 9 and 11 years they are sleeping roughly 10 hours a night which is fine for their age. Surely they can go to bed at 8 and wake at 8 of they needed longer.

I think it's good as it Helps them not get into the habit of snacking all eve ( 5pm dinner, they prob would by 8ish)

Mintyy Fri 17-May-13 14:20:59

Who wants to eat at 5pm? Surely only little kids and very old people who go to bed early.

5madthings Fri 17-May-13 14:21:36

Yanbu, mine are 13, 10, 8, 5 and 2 and we often don't have dinner till 6:30 because of DPs shifts, its fine.

TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 17-May-13 14:23:54

its a lucky day in my house when we eat before 7.30.

Mine are 9,14 and 15. They have survived thus far.

sooperdooper Fri 17-May-13 14:24:35

Tell him to make it then confused

Miggsie Fri 17-May-13 14:27:48

DD is 9 yo. We eat at times ranging between 5:30 and 7:30 - sometimes later if my brother visits.
It is mostly dependent on hunger and what we are doing that evening.

Is there really a cut off time for eating and after that your child's digestive system has a wobbly?


And why do grown men listen endlessly to their mothers and treat their wives like half wits?
Why can he not admit to his mohter that you don't do things just like her? Who is a cowardly git in this case?
Why does MiL care - is she the meals police.
If she rings tell her to go away, you are eating.
A grown man still scared of his mum - really? He needs help.

Instituitions like prison and hospitals feed people at 5pm so they can crowd the entire days meals into a single kitchen shift.
Now I'm intrigued as to what MiL used to do in the evenings that she had to shovel the food into the kids so quickly.

If DH feels that strongly about it, he can do the cooking or tell him mum it is none of her business.

Incidentally eye rolling and tut tutting are signs of disrespect and you should tell him to cut it out right now.

sooperdooper Fri 17-May-13 14:27:49

And if the phone rings before then just ignore it, how sad to have to check what time you're eating, tell your Dh to ignore it!!

TheWoollybacksWife Fri 17-May-13 14:28:40

We eat at 6:30. It seems to be a good time for all of us. DH is home from work and after school activities are usually over so it's just right for us as a family. DS is 6 and I have older teenage DDs. We are cleared away by 7 most nights and DS gets an hour of TV with his dad before bed.

The only one that grumbles a bit is DD1 but she is away at Uni and has got into the habit of eating at 5:30. I have recently discovered that this is so she can fit in a toastie or they share a pizza for supper.

PearlyWhites Fri 17-May-13 14:29:32

I think it's very late for children 5 - 5.30 is normal but is not your Mil business

Mumsyblouse Fri 17-May-13 14:31:11

How extremely odd- do you really all pretend to have eaten if MIL comes? Why? I don't get it and I don't get what he's moaning about, is he very anal about time/deadlines elsewhere in his life. There isn't a 'set' time for eating enshrined by law and a 9 & 11 year old won't explode if they haven't finished by 7pm!

SirBoobAlot Fri 17-May-13 14:31:17


Tell him he knows where the kitchen is. And who the fuck does he think he is to tell you when you 'should' have done dinner for?

livinginwonderland Fri 17-May-13 14:31:20

1) Ignore the phone.
2) If DH wants them to eat earlier, direct him to the kitchen.
3) I often didn't eat dinner until 7.30pm cause of my parents jobs (plus I didn't get home school until 6pm) and I'm not dead yet.

calypso2008 Fri 17-May-13 14:31:33

I live in Spain. Last week was my DD's fifth birthday party. At 6.30 I served up the sandwiches, crisps, juice etc ... a bit later, the cake. I was chastised, verbally by one mother - she was outraged it was so early. For 4 & 5 year olds!

I was mortified sad

They don't eat until 10pm. Even with the little ones. Me, at home, DD normally eats around 6.30/7pm. Nothing wrong IMO for your children, at that age to be eating when they do. It would seem completely reasonable to me.

Your DH is a bit strange though, worrying about what his mother thinks confused it really is none of her business.

cantspel Fri 17-May-13 14:35:40

I think it is a bit late and would aim to have diner on the table by 5.30 and eaten by six.

Then the 9 year old has 2 hours before bed.
Plus if school lunch is at 12 then it is a long wait until 6.30 for a meal.

calypso2008 Fri 17-May-13 14:40:13

But surely the children aren't home from school until 5pm? cantspel they are older children.

OldBeanbagz Fri 17-May-13 14:47:12

We very rarely sit down for dinner before 7pm and my DC are 11 and 8 (that's on school nights too).

Your DH is being unreasonable and his mother isn't helping either. Gone are the days when people worked 9-5 and had dinner on the table at 6pm. Families just aren't like that any more.

My own mum has a habit of phoning up whilst we're in the middle of eating and always ends up wittering for hours chatting away whilst me dinner goes cold.

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