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To not take dds packed lunch to school?

(81 Posts)
BastardDog Fri 17-May-13 09:15:51

Dd is 12. Last week I put her onto packed lunches as it was becoming obvious that she was going without eating all day at school and then going to the shop in the evening and using her dinner money to buy items such as a six pack of crisps, a 4 pack of Tic Tacs, 3 100g bars of chocolate etc.

So today she has forgotten to take her packed lunch to school and has no money so has asked school reception to ring me and ask me to deliver her lunch, a one hour round trip as I have no car.

I am not working until 12 today so in theory I have time, but I feel cross to have been put in this position.

School have said they will not lend her any money, which I understand.

Branleuse Fri 17-May-13 09:18:54

ask school to give her some toast or something?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 17-May-13 09:19:11

I would. She can't go without lunch.

Although I know you say she has been doing. But it's really not good for her.

I think it's a bit mean of the school to not let her use the canteen and settle up on monday.

TanteRose Fri 17-May-13 09:19:29

I wouldn't

she'll be fine for one day

raisah Fri 17-May-13 09:20:31

Can they not give her a hot dinner and you pay them back on Monday. It seems a bit harsh for the school not to feed her since they know what the situation is. Ring them and see what they say.

drinkyourmilk Fri 17-May-13 09:22:06

Don't you ever forget anything? I think you are being harsh tbh

FreudiansSlipper Fri 17-May-13 09:27:50

that is a bit mean

we all forget things sometimes.

talk to the school again if not take it up

QuertyQueen Fri 17-May-13 09:28:13

I would. She's only just gone onto packed lunch, she's not used to making sure she has it yet.

TheOneWithTheHair Fri 17-May-13 09:30:17

It undermines your point about eating properly if you don't take it. It's either important or it isn't. You will be sending mixed messages.

Take it but give her a warning. If she forgets again give her a small consequence.

Groovee Fri 17-May-13 09:31:59

Our school gives them a school dinner then you pay it back. Dd is at High School.

wonderingsoul Fri 17-May-13 09:32:00

depending on how the school dinner are done, could they not give her one and you pay monday. ours you had to bring in money for what you wanted, and pay at the till in the lunch room.

i think its a bit mean, and doesnt really help your action of getting her to eat healthy at lunch time.

DeepRedBetty Fri 17-May-13 09:33:26

I take left behind packed lunches in, but it's not too difficult to do. DTD1 went through a phase of forgetting it a couple of times a week and I did impose a warning followed by penalty which made her a lot more reliable.

yaimee Fri 17-May-13 09:33:45

I'd take it this once bit warn her that if it happens again you won't.
Agree with theone if you're trying to teach her the importance of eating proper regular meals, then leaving her without a lunch undermines your point.

manicinsomniac Fri 17-May-13 09:35:48

An hour round trip for a lunch? Gosh, YANBU, I wouldn't do it. Unless it's a private school she'll probably be home by, what, 4? 4.30? That's nowhere near dinner time so she's missing a meal but not having to wait until the next one to eat.

Sounds like she's been used to missing lunch anyway and eating on the way home so not much difference.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 17-May-13 09:39:20

In view of the time it would take you to take the lunch to her I'm sure the school has some policy in place? To sub her a lunch ticket and you pay back on Monday (ours do ParentPay for things like trips )

Or if you do have to make the trip, make her give you back the hour with chores around the house.

<<Feels pain as I had to make a trip to school last week when my DS left his blazer <<sigh>>)

bonkersLFDT20 Fri 17-May-13 09:40:36

What would the school do if you actually couldn't take the lunch in?

I certainly would not take my son's forgotten stuff in. It would mean a 1/2hr drive home from work to collect forgotten item, 1/2hr to the school, and 20 mins back to work. Nope.

When he's forgotten his lunch money he's borrowed from friends (the odd 20p, 50p - add up to get a roll or something).

coppertop Fri 17-May-13 09:41:00

Our school would give the child a pre-loaded lunch card with enough money on it for a basic lunch. No actual cash required. It seems odd that the school makes no provision for this at all.

BastardDog Fri 17-May-13 09:42:51

Thank you. I've rung school back and said I give permission for her to come off school premises at lunchtime so she can come home and fetch it herself. I thought that was a good compromise.

TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 17-May-13 09:44:43

You can top up their dinner money online at our school, do they have that option at yours?

QuertyQueen Fri 17-May-13 09:45:40

So SHE gets to do the hour round trip? I think that's selfish, sorry. She's only 12 and it's the first time.

MissFenella Fri 17-May-13 09:48:53

you put her on packed lunch because she wasn't eating at lunch time and now you are making her miss lunch as a punishment. That is quite a confusing message to send her.

NoelHeadbands Fri 17-May-13 09:49:02

Nope I wouldn't do it. Sounds like she's been used to going without anyway when it suits (mine did the same btw), a few hours isn't going to see her starving to death.

Sirzy Fri 17-May-13 09:50:23

Surely if its a one hour round trip that means she won't get any time to eat it or relax?

As its the first time she has forgotton I think you are being unreasonable

NoelHeadbands Fri 17-May-13 09:50:31

No the daughter has done it to herself by forgetting it. At high school they have to learn to take some responsibility for their own stuff, just like homework, school books, pe kit etc

Startail Fri 17-May-13 09:53:15

She'll enjoy the trip and want to do it again.

Get out of school and wander about on my own all lunch time, no noise, no peers, bliss. I'd have forgot my lunch every day.

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