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AIBU to still feel like a big plumper after reaching goal weight?

(34 Posts)
sallievp Fri 17-May-13 06:17:35

Please be kind...my first post! (smile)

I have lost weight over the last 7 months. Going from 11 stone 7 to current weight 9 stone 3 (I'm 5 foot 2)

7 months ago if someone had told me that I would eventually weigh 9 st 3, I would have been ecstatic!! this is the lightest I have ever been in my adult life!!

But I still feel big. and am probably more self conscious about my weight and size now than when I was bigger
Why do I not feel happy with this?
Has anyone else experienced this?

mumnotmachine Fri 17-May-13 06:27:28

Firstly congratulations on your weightloss- its an amazing achievement!!!

I know exactly where you are coming from- I am currently 2lb off a 5 stone target (also achieved in 7 months!)- but Im still not happy.

7 months ago 5 stone off seemed unachievable, a dream, but now I am almost there, and getting complimented every day ( I was over 16 stone and size 22, am now just over 11 and size 10/12)

I still feel fat.

Im struggling to tone up as I have a lot of joint problems and I cannot do a lot of the exercises I need to
I have a wobbly belly, huge thighs, bum and hips

I think I just have to accept there will always be a part of me I hate!

Well done though- just shows we can do just about anything we put our minds to!!

berrycake Fri 17-May-13 06:31:21

Wow, that's amazing. You should be so proud of what you've achieved.
This usually works for me when I'm feeling 'fat'. Put on your nicest outfit, the one you feel most confident in, and get someone to take a photo of you (or set the self timer). Seeing a photograph, rather than looking in the mirror, can really help you see what you actually look like. If you're still struggling, find some old photos of yourself and compare.
You've done all this hard work, you deserve to enjoy it!

munchkinmaster Fri 17-May-13 06:32:04

My only thought is much better to stick at a healthy weight you can maintain than be miserable striving for stick thin.

mrsXsweet Fri 17-May-13 06:32:51

Congratulations that is an amazing achievement. Can I ask how u did it? I am currently 12 st and would like to be 9!
When I was lighter I also never felt thin and thought I looked fat and would fixate on my wobbly thighs etc. it is only now looking back at photos I realise that I looked amazing ( for me, I don't think I looked like a supermodel or anything!). Conversely I now seem to have the opposite problem and don't think I look as fat as I am!!
I don't know what the magic answer is but for toning up could you try something like swimming which is quite gentle on the joints?

Bakingnovice Fri 17-May-13 06:34:20

Congratulations! What an achievement. How did you do it?

TwllBach Fri 17-May-13 06:42:28

Congratulations for losing the weight grin

I found it really hard to realise that it dan matter what weight I was, my body image was going to be shocking. Even as a teenager at 8.5 stone I thought I was fat, and (apparently) the self esteem issues have stuck.

What has helped a bit though is taking photos. This sounds silly, but I get dressed and take a quick photo in te mirror of my body, iyswim? Then I carry on with my day. When I have a few spare seconds, I have a quick look and can then be more objective - "actually, my waist looks ok, my arms are still a bit x, my hips aren't as wide as thought" that set of thing.

Could you do something like that?

sallievp Fri 17-May-13 06:51:56

Thanks everyone for your replies. That's made me feel I'm not alone.
My DH doesn't really get how I feel (never had a weight problem) and just tells me to stop obsessing!

Weight started to come off after I moved to India from the UK last September and so no access to waitrose ready meals and Burger king - both my faves!!
Then just continued eating healthy and limiting chocolate, fast food and alcohol.

Mumnotmachine size 22 to 10/12...wow!!!! that's a major transformation!

berrycake and twllbach that's a great idea about taking photos...I will try it today!!

pinktwinkle Fri 17-May-13 06:55:51

I'm a lurker rather than a poster but really wanted to reassure you. IME it takes time for your image of yourself to adjust so that you actually see yourself as you are now compared to how you were before.

Something will happen like you'll catch sight of yourself in a shop window and you'll think for a split second "is that me?". Then your body image is changing in your mind.

It's good advice above to take a photo and compare with an old photo so that you can see yourself from the outside iyswim.

Please now concentrate on eating for health and being active - and don't continue to try to reduce as that way heartache lies.

Congratulations on your achievement smile

sallievp Fri 17-May-13 07:00:53

thanks pinktwinkle you are right...think its just taking my brain a while to catch up with my body!!

p.s I am also usually a lurker too!

anxiousmess Fri 17-May-13 07:10:46

I totally understand how you feel. I went from a 16 to a 10. I also have joint problems so I haven't toned up and although I get lots of compliments when I'm dressed, I hate the way I look naked. I am wobbly all over and not getting any younger! I used to be slim and reasonably toned until I got pregnant and became ill. Even though I'm smaller than I was my body looks exactly the same as when I was bigger!

TroublesomeEx Fri 17-May-13 09:25:21

I agree with the catching a glimpse of yourself in shop windows etc.

I think I'm hideous when I look in the mirror, but I often catch myself in shop windows and realise I'm a lot slimmer than I perceive myself to be generally.

Well done, btw.

Undertone Fri 17-May-13 09:42:21

Well i hit a size 12 and stuck there for a year, even running half marathons and whatnot. As you say, at the beginning when i was a size 20 i would have been cock a hoop being told i would get to size 12. I think the blobbiness is exacerbated through having lots of loose skin - even though my body fat % is 'normal' it's not being 'held on' to me if you see what i mean?

Something i promised myself at the beginning is that one day i would feel fantastic in a bikini on holiday. So i am grimly pressing on: working with a personal trainer on diet and exercise to try and up muscle tissue and reduce fat %. Borderline size 10 at the mo, my arms are really toned, my legs look like superwoman, and there's a shadow of my abdominal muscles showing. But as soon as i walk across the room without a top on i look like I'm made of jelly.

Onwards. <narrows eyes, girds loins, looks sadly at fridge full of salad, then focuses on bikini hanging on door ready for Italy in June>

icklemssunshine1 Fri 17-May-13 09:52:53

Congratulations!

I too can sympathise. I lost over 5 1/2 stone 10 years ago & kept it off til this day! However after I lost the weight I was so scared of getting fat again I went the other way & started restricting what I are even more. (I did the old WW & survived on 12 points a day & exercising) When I met my DH he was concerned not about my weight but my attitude to food - I would cry after he took me out for a meal for example. In the end I sought help, my GP referred me to a counsellor who said I had anorexic tendencies bought on my fear of being overweight again. She said it was common for people who had lost weight to feel this way. What broke it for me (I thought I'd be counting WW'a points forever!) was the counselling & actually putting on a but of weight but realising 1/2 pounds gained didn't equal a stone or two! 10 years on I still have fat days but I have to ignore what I see in the mirror & rely on how my clothes feel on me.

It'll take time but you will learn to love what you see. I'd been overweight all my life so when I lost weight at 24 it was hard to wipe away 24 year's of being called fat/ugly etc. It will come, try & work on our self-esteem & yet again well done, its a huge achievement.

specialsubject Fri 17-May-13 09:55:16

perfect. Well within the normal weight range according to the BMI calculator.

models are sick freaks, nothing to aspire to.

in short - get real and get out there and enjoy. Congratulations also on losing weight at a sensible pace.

WorraLiberty Fri 17-May-13 09:58:12

Congratulations on the weight loss, that's a massive achievement.

I agree it's probably that your mind has to catch up with your body. What you're doing is comparing how you would have thought about your loss before you actually lost it.

If you're happy with your weight and just want to maintain it then I'm sure your mind will catch up.

However, if you're not happy then at least you know if you want to lose some more...that it's totally possible to do so.

WorraLiberty Fri 17-May-13 09:59:22

models are sick freaks, nothing to aspire to.

What all of them? confused

MrsMelons Fri 17-May-13 10:16:24

Thats an amazing achievement!!

I know exactly what you mean and it is usually around toning. People seem to think that if they are at a low weight then they will look 'thin'. I am a 10/12 and work out a lot concentrating on weights etc for toning. I have been a lower weight but couldn't wear fitted dresses as my belly still looked big, now I can afford to be 1/2 stone heavier but everything is flatter/more toned.

My friend is a size 6/8 and really tiny but her belly is not flat so she cannot wear fitted stuff and she hates it. It really isn't all about weight.

There are loads of exercises you can do at home to help - just google it. It really does make all the difference.

BMI wise you could probably afford to lose another half stone or so without being unhealthy but this is unlikely to make you feel differently.

It took me 15 years to realise this!!!!

badguider Fri 17-May-13 10:37:37

I would suggest that now that you have sucessfully reached goal weight (well done!!) you need something to focus you more on what your body can DO than what it looks like.

Think about entering a sporting charity event - try running, triathlon, cycling or a weights-based class at the gym.
OR, if that's not your thing try something skill based like tennis or badminton, or something artistic like dance of some kind.

Now is the time to USE that body you've got and you should find your attitude towards it starting to change...

LaQueen Fri 17-May-13 11:01:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noddyholder Fri 17-May-13 11:05:50

Well done! It takes a while to adjust when you lose a large amount of weight!

BlahBlahBlahhh Fri 17-May-13 11:15:15

A few years ago I went down from 11 stone to near 9. I think it's totally right when people say it takes time for your brain to adjust ! I remember getting measured for a new bra after the weight loss. The lady asked me what size I was, 36D I said. She looked at me and laughed...she said I was only a 30C which I couldnt beleive. I'd also carry on picking up size 12/14 clothes when A size 10 was loose. It took me a good few clothes shops to realise I was actually skinny ! Happy days...unfortunately 8 years down the line I've eventually reached 11 stone again sad

DontmindifIdo Fri 17-May-13 11:17:29

OP - could it also be the company you keep?

if you have moved from the UK in an area with a lot of woman who are carrying too much weight to now being surrounded by woman who are a lot thinner, even if you are thinner than you ever were, you might still feel big because you are compared to your social group if you see what I mean.

After I had DS I lost a lot of the weight quickly but then put some back on (everyone served cake and/or biscuits at playdates), I didn't feel big because I was surrounded by other mummys with tummys that weren't toned - I didn't look big in comparassion, possibly even one of the smaller ones. The I went back to work in an office full of woman who went to the gym every other lunchtime and it wasn't just that they weren't fat, they were toned. Suddenly I felt huge again.

If you are still larger than your social group, then you'll feel big. Rather than have a weight target in mind, could you focus on something else, could you train for an event like a 10k or focus on being stronger/healthier rather than a number the scales say. You might have more confidence.

bluesbaby Fri 17-May-13 11:25:25

Congrats on the weight loss!! YANBU - it's normal to feel like this even after weight loss. Sadly there's no magic number that will make anybody perfect. It's a slow process accepting your body as it is, it's fab you've been making your body healthy, now it's time to make your mind healthy smile Can you take up a sport perhaps as a hobby (rather than going to a gym, or as well as, if you have time) - as that will give you fitness goals rather than goals focused around weight loss? Focusing on your achievements rather than an unrealistic goal of -perfect- body is much better for your mind.

"Own" your body and your mind, be strong smile Something that helps some people - faking confidence. Stand up straighter, put on your best clothes, walk confidently etc etc. Real confidence will follow through if you fake it well enough - give it go - even if you think it's silly I promise you will feel at least a little bit better!

Samu2 Fri 17-May-13 11:30:41

I went from 13 stone to 8 stone and it took over a year to get used to my new weight, I still look in the mirror two years later and sometimes get a shock by how slim I am.

I still often go to pick up a bigger size of something.

Congrats on your weight loss smile

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