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AIBU to be upset that my mum is more interested in her cousin's engagement & wedding than mine?

(10 Posts)
VikkiiKawaii Thu 16-May-13 21:56:02

I feel like I'm being a stroppy child but I'm very upset that my mum told me when I got engaged to my partner that she couldn't approve of it because of her separation from my father but is now fawning over her cousin's wedding plans and engagement.

She seems so interested in their plans and has no interest in mine even when I've tried to talk to her about it and tell her my plans. I'm really hurt because I feel like it's MY wedding she doesn't care about.

I'm having to save up for mine, so it's a little further away than her cousin's wedding but she laughed at the amount of money I have saved.

Am I being unreasonable to be hurt?

issey6cats Thu 16-May-13 22:16:34

of course YANBU moms are supposed to be over the moon about thier daughters wedding, i only have one daughter and wheras i let her do the arrangments for the wedding and reception herself i went with her to buy her wedding dress and paid for it and printed the invitations for her and was pleased to do this service

CloudsAndTrees Thu 16-May-13 22:31:26

Is it because she doesn't want to see your Father on the day?

HollyBerryBush Thu 16-May-13 22:34:54

You say your mum and dad are separated, so not divorced? is that all quite recent?

I guess, maybe shes feeling raw that her marriage has broken down? That your dad will be giving you away? That shes going to be in the same room as him?

Have you asked her to help you? Is she feeling sidelined as MOTB - FOTB gets a far larger role.

you have to widen your vision to other peoples situations.

VikkiiKawaii Thu 16-May-13 22:35:59

I think a little bit but I wish she would seem even a little bit interested and if that is the reason that she hadn't lied about it cos now it seems like she cares more about her cousin and her cousins wedding than mine. Arghh I feel like a complete bridezilla. sad

VikkiiKawaii Thu 16-May-13 22:39:42

It's been almost two years so fairly recent. I've tried asking her opinions on potential venues/bridesmaid dresses but she seems so disinterested I've stopped bothering.

I do get her point of view, I just wish she hadn't said that it was MARRIAGE that she was against and then really interested in her cousin's wedding. She didn't even ask any questions when I got engaged, she just said 'oh ok' and then went back to what she was talking about.

snickers251 Thu 16-May-13 22:40:19

I got married last year and although my mum made a very generous contribution, I couldn't help feel her heart wasn't in it and wasn't that excited.

She did start to ask more questions two weeks leading up to the wedding but it was probably more so she knew what her, my stepdad (who gave me away) and my little sister (bridesmaid) were doing.

I put it down to her and my stepfathers marriage breaking down over the last 6 years and I accepted it must be hard for her but it didn't stop me feeling sad that she just wasn't that excited about my big day hmm

pigletpower Thu 16-May-13 22:43:23

Well,fuck her then really Vik. You've tried to engage her and it has been a non-starter.Involve your father as much as you can[if you still see/talk to each other] and try to forget your mother and her long face.

DeskPlanner Thu 16-May-13 22:51:56

Laughing at how much you have saved is horrible. Sounds a touch situation for you.

ApocalypseThen Thu 16-May-13 23:08:13

Maybe she's worried about the future as a separated woman and sees the wedding of her cousin as a sign that life goes on and she may find someone new and that's why it's of special interest to her? Your marriage probably doesn't give her reason to be hopeful of a new relationship in older life in the same way, and she's probably raw and self absorbed in the way we all are once a relationship ends.

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