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AIBU?

To spend our money on a new bicycle

119 replies

BJunction · 16/05/2013 20:43

Hello all,

I wanted to get the "female" perspective on this...

My wife is due in a few months and we're putting all my recent bonus money and savings towards the required purchases. The issue is there is a lovely bike that I've been eyeing up to compliment my existing stable of bikes. The bike cost is about 40%-50% of the money we have but I'm sure we can get by on what's left. There's easily enough for a good cot and the rest of the stuff we'll need.

I've even made a spreadsheet covering the spend so it's clear we can do it but the wife is insistent that we spend all the money on the new born... who won't even remember this stage of his life.

am I being unreasonable for wanting this great bike whilst making sure there's enough left to cover the cost of the incoming baby?

OP posts:

Report

1Catherine1 · 16/05/2013 20:47

Can I just check that this isn't a reverse AIBU?

If you were my husband I would probably kill you if you did. Expecting or not. How can you take 50% of your savings to spend on your "stable of bikes". It is incredibly selfish.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/05/2013 20:49

Yabu.

I really shouldn't have to explain why

You're not my DP are you?

Scholes34 · 16/05/2013 20:52

Trade in some of your "stable" of bikes to get the new one. Simple!

BJunction · 16/05/2013 20:52

What's AIBU?

Catherine, by the look on my wife's face I get the impression that she is thinking the same...

I don't think so IAGTBF.

I'm sure it's not a big deal as long as we can afford the other bits and bobs and then I'l have a great new bike too.

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 16/05/2013 20:53

If not for the fact I'm not pregnant, I would be wondering if this were my DH...

Fairylea · 16/05/2013 20:57

Ermmm I think Yabu.

This is family money that has been saved for the baby, yep? So spend the money on the baby!

Or have an adult joint discussion about providing for the baby more cheaply and splitting the remainder of the money between you both for whatever you fancy - but only if you are both in agreement. You can't just randomly decide to buy a bike with money you've saved for the baby.

boatclub · 16/05/2013 21:00

Yes but it's not just a cot and stuff is it? what about making up the shortfall in income whilst your wife is on ML or if she becomes a SAHM?

How many bikes does one man need? Could you sell one or two and get the new one?

Will you have enough time for cycling once the baby arrives?

Is there anything - not baby related that your wife needs/wants that part of the cash could be spent on ?

Just a few thoughts ...

FreshLeticia · 16/05/2013 21:04

Soooo, why are you not buying all the baby stuff from the bonus etc and then splitting the balance between you and your DW?
It is not your money, it is you and your DW's money. You are a team, a family. YAN being fair.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2013 21:05

How about not spending the money and saving it so that one of you can take extra time off with Lo when Lo arrives? I saved my money and had 10 months off with each, DH had over a month off when number 2 arrived.

You won't get time to ride the bike anyway. Your cycling tops will be covered in sick and you'll be too busy fetching your dwife snacks and drinks or trying to console a screaming baby,

Good luck, you sound like you might need it,

rootypig · 16/05/2013 21:07

50% of your bonus and savings?! YABU. keep that 50% for the inevitable unexpected expenses, things you haven't thought you might need, money to take care of your family in a pinch.

though, this reminds me of my MIL telling me that FIL went out and spent all his money on surfboards when she told him he was pregnant, before the baby could get it . She laughs about it, because she sees it as his expression of his natural fears at the time I suppose. That said, she raised DH largely without his help.

so YADBU.

RandomMess · 16/05/2013 21:08

How much time will you get to ride this new bike, do you not realise that your free time is going to at least half imminently?

rootypig · 16/05/2013 21:09

*she was pregnant! FIL was not pregnant in the least

BestParentEver · 16/05/2013 21:10

As a bike guy, I'd say if you wanted the bike badly enough could you not trade away one of you other bikes?

BikeRunSki · 16/05/2013 21:11

Let me intorduce you to my DH, he can tell you how much time he'd had with his "stable of bikes" in the last 5 years since the DC came along.

I can appreciate a stable of bikes (I have one myself), but now's not the time.

ChippingInLovesSunshine · 16/05/2013 21:14

Are you hands itchy?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2013 21:15

at BRS. DH has just started cycling lots again, our youngest will be 6 soon and by lots I mean once some weeks

HollyBerryBush · 16/05/2013 21:16

Can you not sell the other bikes?

nocake · 16/05/2013 21:22

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... before DD came along I was a keen triathlete. I swam twice a week, ran regularly and cycled every weekend. I was the proud owner of a fine selection of bikes.

DD is 2 and the last time my road bike was used was... actually, I can't remember. I still run a couple of times a week but I don't swim any more. There are other priorities in my life now.

Forget the bike. You won't use it. You're now saying to yourself "nonsense, it'll be different for me" but it really won't. Trust me... I know.

JollyOrangeGiant · 16/05/2013 21:25

Hah

Liara · 16/05/2013 21:27

Save that 50% and if, 6 months after your baby is born you still think that buying that bike is a good idea and you will get lots of use out of it, then you can buy it if there is anything left after the divorce settlement

BikeRunSki · 16/05/2013 21:29

Once a week JJJ ? getting some good spring miles in then!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2013 21:30

Well almost every week

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Startail · 16/05/2013 21:55

Buy a really geeky high tec pushchair you won't be cycling for a long while. Which is great poncy Lycra clad cyclists clog up our lanes.

ScrambledSmegs · 16/05/2013 22:21

Oh dear.

You are definitely not thinking ahead here. You'll be needing that money for all the other incidentals that crop up during mat leave. There's always something that requires expenditure, trust me.

If you're planning on being an involved parent you probably won't have time for another bike. Unless it's for getting to work, in which case you should consider getting rid of one or two of your others in order to cover the cost of it.

Is there any chance that this desire for a new bike is some sort of displacement for the nervousness you're probably feeling at the prospect of being a parent? It is fucking scary, I know. It's such a seismic change in your life. But now is the time that you need to be spending more time with your partner, building up some good solid foundations because you will probably need them in the coming months. It's doubtful that a new bike will contribute to that.

FredFredGeorge · 16/05/2013 22:32

How secure is your income, how easily will you be able to build the savings up again, will you get more bonuses...

But, whilst 2 and 6 months is ludicrous times for you to retake up your hobby both my wife and I returned to our hobbies pretty much immediately after birth, having both time to ourselves, and more importantly time for the baby and other parent to be alone together, certainly not 2 years, and I'm pretty surprised by anyone who calls themselves "Keen" actually gives something up for 2 years. There will likely be less time for you to cycle and your performance will go down, so why bother with the new bike?

Babies are not that expensive unless you choose them to be, but they do have a cost, and it does make you more nervous about lack of buffers in times of need, hence the questions about your income / future bonuses.

But no, you are not being completely unreasonable to consider spending money on your hobby, but it depends on what's lost by doing that.

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