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AIBU to think DD2's school is being ridiculous

(41 Posts)
NeverBeenToMe Thu 16-May-13 12:19:38

Dd2 is in year 11. Working hard for exams etc. and starts study leave after Whit. She is a fairly quiet, studious girl. This morning she has been pulled out of an English lesson (exam is on Monday), told her skirt is too short and she has to wear trousers tomorrow. She has worn this skirt for WEEKS without any comments from anyone at school. And suddenly with six days left, they think I am going to buy her a pair of trousers??

Someone I work with (in education!) has suggested keeping her off until study leave starts, if I don't get a satisfactory conclusion from a conversation with the Head of Year - am quite tempted to do this and just have her study at home.

She was given a lecture on wearing suitable attire for work etc - but as far as I am concerned she has another five years in education - plenty of time to worry about work attire then!

luxemburgerli Thu 16-May-13 14:28:50

Bizarre about the separate exam room if uniform is incorrect. Sounds like an advantage!

If the HOY comes back and says it's still a problem I wouldn't risk it though. What if they decide to send her home on an exam day to make a point? Too late then.

Startail Thu 16-May-13 14:24:59

And why they have to wear uniform for exams god alone knows, we didn't.

Holliewantstobehot Thu 16-May-13 14:24:17

I had a similar thing - bought ds royal blue jumpers from asda as cheaper than official school jumpers - he had gone up from infant school where this was no problem to junior school - wierd thing was no one said anything about it until half way through the summer term! Could have understood it if they had said first six weeks! Think you should just speak to school first and see if there is any reason why they suddenly have a problem with this.

Startail Thu 16-May-13 14:23:46

I've just bought DD1 a new skirt because one particular teacher moaned about her old one.

It's been 'too' short for two years. I think she's worn the new one twice.
She prefers the old one because it has a pocket for her lunch card.

No one, including the above teacher has said a word.

It's utter pointless, money wasting nonsense!

redskyatnight Thu 16-May-13 14:18:55

Won't she have to wear uniform for exams? So more than 6 days?

What's the uniform colour/style? Can you get her something that she can wear next year/for general use?

swallowthree Thu 16-May-13 14:18:39

You are not being unreasonable and the school is BUT I'm sure she could do without the stress of this just at the moment and I don't think it is a battle worth having. Unpick the hem or try to get something cheap. Do any of her friends have skirts or trousers to spare that she could borrow ? Or a charity shop nearby ? Are there any spares in lost property ? I know you shouldn't have to resort to this but just not worth the hassle. I would be hopping mad but the main thing is for your daughter to stay calm in the run up to exams.

piprabbit Thu 16-May-13 14:13:19

A separate room for exams sounds ideal - I'd be going for that option personally.

fairylightsinthespring Thu 16-May-13 14:12:00

Rooney - Whitsun is a fairly common usage, not a private school thing It traditionally is the day of remembering the Day of Pentecost in the Bible when the disciples were given the ability to speak different languages so they could go out and preach and convert people. OP, ye sits unfortunate that the school haven't picked it up before - worth asking your DD if she had the top rolled over, but a half decent pair of black trousers are a useful wardrobe staple anyway - is she likely to have a Saturday job anytime soon? She might wear them for that.
Tiredy - without knowing the actual degree of shortness we can't assume the school ABU or "Victorian". A school is not an appropriate place to wear a mini skirt - no formal place of work is.

NeverBeenToMe Thu 16-May-13 14:07:31

If she had been pulled up on it before she would have had a lunchtime uniform detention that I would have been notified about.

She always wears at least one pair of 40-60 denier tights so its not like she's flashing loads of flesh!

Apparently for leavers assembly they have to wear 'business dress'. Interpret as you will! And if they aren't in correct uniform for exams they get put in a separate room to do it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 16-May-13 13:26:57

NoYo - not on crack or rich thanks. My eldest is only 4, and his school trousers are £7 a pair. I was just multiplying up by age. wink

OP - I've always called it Whitsun.

tiggytape Thu 16-May-13 13:23:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inertia Thu 16-May-13 13:02:36

Surely she'll need correct uniform for the exams too, so it's not just the remaining 6 days before study leave.

If you can get away with a plain black style of trousers that she'd wear again , then it's probably worth it to avoid causing extra unecessary stress.

Remotecontrolduck Thu 16-May-13 12:59:48

Six days? Do not buy anything! send her in with the skirt, email head of year asking why they think now is an appropriate time to bring this up.

If they're unco-operative, just keep her off. 6 days before study leave she'll be missing no new information!

At DD's school, a load of them had just finished their last exam and were sitting on the grass and chatting. it was a hot day, the last ever day they'd be there. The bell went for home time and they all said their goodbyes and headed for the buses. A teacher then stopped them and had a HUGE fit a lot of them because they didn't have their blazer with them, threatening an after school detention.

Also, a boy came to return his textbook during study leave, he'd finished all his exams. He was actually TURNED AWAY at reception because he was not in uniform....

I wish i was joking. Some teachers don't seem to employ any sense or discretion when enforcing school rules!

TiredyCustards Thu 16-May-13 12:52:02

Oh fgs. Yanbu, what horribly Victorian attitudes some schools have.

I would call and ask why they think it is acceptable to harrass a teenage girl about her appearance, especially just before exams.

BrianButterfield Thu 16-May-13 12:49:34

Our year 11 are already on study leave...

RooneyMara Thu 16-May-13 12:48:57

Thanks, that a private school thing/ I've never heard it used, in the circles I move within grin

TigerSwallowTail Thu 16-May-13 12:48:54

Get her to stick some thick tights or a pair of leggings on underneath her skirt.

meditrina Thu 16-May-13 12:48:19

"If she's grown over the last few weeks" - unlikely in year 11.

But is there any chance you've still got her old skirt shoved in a cupboard somewhere?

If not, I'd go for the "I will replace after my next pay check" approach, or let down the hem (or see if waistband can be adjusted so it sits a bit lower) and hope for the best.

And yes, they are very silly to be doing this with year 11 leavers with only 6 days to go. Better approach, if they need a crack down, would be to target all the year groups continuing in the school. And to give them all the dire warnings next week, telling them to be properly dressed after half term or else.

NeverBeenToMe Thu 16-May-13 12:48:17

Off at a tangent - is it not called Whit(sun) anymore?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Thu 16-May-13 12:47:41

Unpick the hem and gain an inch?

NeverBeenToMe Thu 16-May-13 12:46:07

I have phoned Head of Year who will ring me back when she has looked into the matter.

It's above the knee admittedly and if she had been told earlier in the year I would have been happy to replace it.

It is the timing of it that I am finding difficult to comprehend. Apparently form tutors are supposed to check uniform daily! I think I will do the "when I get paid" line smile There is no way I would buy a pair of trousers for six days' wear. Unless a pair of black linen ones that she would wear again would do ...... smile

tiggytape Thu 16-May-13 12:43:58

If they are doing leavers' assemblies, prize giving or other similar things before study leave, they often insist on full and correct uniform and won't let the Year 11's attend otherwise.

Does she not have a longer skirt or trousers to wear. It seems a shame to miss her last few days.

lucjam Thu 16-May-13 12:43:29

Can't she just wear some leggings underneath for the last few days at school?

ThingummyBob Thu 16-May-13 12:41:00

This coming half term holiday is sometimes known as whit Rooney.

jacks365 Thu 16-May-13 12:40:56

You should be able to find trousers for about £5. Speak to the school to see if you can sort it out as it might not be as it appears, maybe one teacher talking out of line rather than the heads decision so they may be ok with it.

To those saying stand your ground please note that if the skirt does breech uniform rules the school is entitled to send her home and not sit exams, they'd be stupid to do so but have the right.

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