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To think that you don't charge people for attending a party?

(130 Posts)
amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 10:25:49

DH and I have been invited to a party for a couple we know. They are both 40 within a couple of weeks of each other and have hired the local golf for their party.

It's not a surprise or anything, the invite has come from them but says they would appreciate it if people could contribute £15 per couple towards the costs.

I think this is just for food as I do know it doesn't include drinks as the golf club has a bar.

AIBU to think that if you organise a party at a private venue, you dont charge people to attend. If it was a meal out then fair enough, everyone would pay their own way.

Is this the start of a new trend? Are people going to start asking parents to contribute to children's birthday parties soon?

MrsMelons Sun 19-May-13 12:40:03

Going to a spa day is different as she probably would have only had to pay for whoever went. Charging for a party means they are probably making money out of it if loads of people go.

Kafri Sun 19-May-13 09:26:52

a friend of mine has just celebrated her bitthday at a spa which cost £15pp which tbh I could 1. have none without paying and 2. could think of better ways to spend 15 as a treat to myself but I didnt like to turn her down as it was her birthday celebration. perhaps I should grow a backbone

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 22:58:24

If it was my birthday I would say " We are going for a meal, would you like to come?"

I would not say "I've chosen some God awful stodgy pastry buffet in a golf club and I'm charging you for the privilege"

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sat 18-May-13 22:18:13

The post about the contract between host and guest earlier was very interesting, because it's the case for a lot of people that going out to a restaurant for a birthday meal and paying for your own food is fine, whereas being invited to a party but being expected to pay is not. I think it's also that if you are going to a restaurant you will be able to choose what you want and pay for it accordingly, whereas with this unappealing new PAYG party arrangement you don't get any choice - you are paying out for someone else's choice of food and entertainment for you. Bring a dish likewise as you choose what to contribute.

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 18-May-13 22:16:04

What a cheek, at least those asking for cash for a wedding present disguise the entry fee with a twee poem.

If you cant afford a party, then dont have one. They are not essential and if it means so much to you then save, its not like birthdays are a surprise event.

greenformica Sat 18-May-13 21:46:26

Bring a dish would be fine, contribute 15 is not

expatinscotland Sat 18-May-13 21:03:48

Cheeky fuckers only get away with it because mugs enable them.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:50:13

Yes, I am convinced this is the ways weddings will go.

With a little cheeky rhyme about how the couple have tea towels and toasters so please cough up for our wedding.

PS aren't we cute because this rhymes etc etc ad nauseum.

amiapartypooper Sat 18-May-13 20:09:14

I know claude I was talking to a colleague yesterday, ranting about the party we've been invited to and she told me about a wedding they were at at the weekend where they had one of those photo booth things. I aways thought those pictures were free and would mainly be of cocks but this couple charged £2 a go!

So it seems even if the cheeky fuckers don't out right charge you to attend, you still end up funding their choices!

claudedebussy Sat 18-May-13 19:06:08


amiapartypooper Sat 18-May-13 18:33:14

There are quite a few people I know that are going, having said that, I really wouldn't be surprised if the numbers dwindle as more people find out about the bar arrangement.

Bunbaker Sat 18-May-13 18:28:37

Is anyone actually going?

amiapartypooper Sat 18-May-13 18:09:15

OMG, it gets worse.

I've heard through a friend of a friend that not only are the couple charging people to attend but the golf club have agreed to discount their hire and food bill by a percentage of the bar takings.

So they could end up in a situation where the party costs them absolutely nothing or they might even make a profit.

Cheeky fuckers!

SlimFitWellies Thu 16-May-13 23:14:12

marking place for outcome.

ShadowStorm Thu 16-May-13 21:54:25

That sounds well cheeky.

Bringing food / drinks to a party at someone's house - fine. Paying for your own meal if the celebration is at a restaurant - fine. Going to a party at a private venue with a pay bar - fine. Contributing towards a family Christmas dinner that's always held at the same person's house - fine.

But actually having to pay to attend a party that someone's organised at a private venue because they're either too tight to pay for venue hire / catering themselves or can't really afford what they want? And when there's a pay bar too?

Too cheeky for words. I wonder how many people will actually pay them £15 to go? I'm guessing not many.

ravenlocks Thu 16-May-13 20:46:37

I had this, couldn't believe it. A couple organising a joint 40th party, put an invite out on facebook saying they were planning a big black tie bash to celebrate, band, sit down meal, photographer etc and it would cost £40 per head. At first thought "that is odd telling us how much they are spending on their party". Then the penny dropped. Over 100 people were invited and it sunk like a stone. Hardly anyone accepted the invite - and a few weeks later it just disappeared without a trace and no party happened. I was so gobsmacked! It was like they were putting on a big event - like a corporate or charity event - but it was for their effing birthdays.

expatinscotland Thu 16-May-13 20:43:38

Haha! I love it when cheeky feckers are rumbled!

claudedebussy Thu 16-May-13 20:41:08

ha brilliant

Solaia Thu 16-May-13 20:31:08

Funnily enough I have just been invited to a party and asked to contribute £5 to the cost. It's just a reserved area in a pub with a few nibbles. One of the other guests (braver than me!) posted on the Facebook invite page "you have invited 100+ people. If they all give you £5 that's £500. Are you planning to make a profit from turning 30?" grin

expatinscotland Thu 16-May-13 20:29:23

Land I'll bet it isn't even£15/head.

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 20:18:26

They are members of the golf club expat so I don't think they actually have to pay a great deal for the venue on the basis that they will bring along a lot of cash paying bar customers who would otherwise not be there. I'm pretty sure the charge is just for the food and possibly a disco.

expatinscotland Thu 16-May-13 20:13:16

I'd ring up the venue and find out how much they charge smile

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 20:09:27

thecutofyourjib I went for the cowards option of texting and saying we had a prior commitment but in my head I told them they were money grabbing feckers!

Totally agree re Christmas and pot luck parties. I'd never arrive at a house party empty handed and would always try to ensure I provided drink, food or gifts to at least the value of our share of the costs incurred by the host if that makes sense.

Just skimmed the christening thread too, it seems £15 is the going rate for couples then. I wonder what the standard charge for single people is? Do they round it up to a tenner?

TheCutOfYourJib Thu 16-May-13 19:56:34

What reason did you give for declining op?
Thanks but no thanks, you money grabbing tight arse twats?

MrsMelons Thu 16-May-13 19:44:27

Imperial - at xmas I usually buy everything (incl drink) and our family stay for about 10 days and we just split it all, we agreed we would do it like that as I host every year. I always buy a table favour for everyone as I like to do that as host.

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