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To think that you don't charge people for attending a party?

(130 Posts)
amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 10:25:49

DH and I have been invited to a party for a couple we know. They are both 40 within a couple of weeks of each other and have hired the local golf for their party.

It's not a surprise or anything, the invite has come from them but says they would appreciate it if people could contribute £15 per couple towards the costs.

I think this is just for food as I do know it doesn't include drinks as the golf club has a bar.

AIBU to think that if you organise a party at a private venue, you dont charge people to attend. If it was a meal out then fair enough, everyone would pay their own way.

Is this the start of a new trend? Are people going to start asking parents to contribute to children's birthday parties soon?

SooticaTheWitchesCat Thu 16-May-13 11:09:50

YANBU, I think it is a damn cheek to invite someone to a party and then charge them. I certainly wouldn't be going. If they can't afford to throw a party they shouldn't have one! Are they expecting a present too???

Startail Thu 16-May-13 11:11:11

Having done a lot of PTA organising, I debate the assertion the party organisers are doing 'Nothing' depends on how all in the venue is.

If it does everything for one phone call then yes it's a bit cheeky?

We tend to gardens, houses and tents on playing fields and causing ourselves logistical nightmares. The only fixed venue is huge and £££££

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 16-May-13 11:11:53

I think it's rude.

If you can't afford a party don't have one! Or have something at home. I assume guests will already be paying for a present, expecting them to pay for the actual party as well is just terrible.

DollyClothespeg Thu 16-May-13 11:12:40

YADNBU. If you're throwing a party, you don't get your guests to cough up the price for you!
If you can't afford a party, you don't have one - simple.
If you invited friends out for a meal, then fair enough they pay for their own meal.
A party though?! No.

ExitPursuedByABear Thu 16-May-13 11:14:26

I know someone who invited family for Christmas lunch and charged £20 per family.

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Presume it will be a cash bar?

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 11:14:38

It really is 'nothing' starfish the golf club lay on all the food and run the bar and we just have to stump up for it.

I'm gueesing if lots of people decline the invitation they are going to be screwed as the golf club will still want paying grin

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 11:15:36

Definitely a cash bar Exit!

trackies Thu 16-May-13 11:16:12

Not unreasonable. Say you are busy. I am 40 this year. I am not having a party cos i don't want to spend the money on one, so i will do something on the day with my DH/kids. I would definitely not have a party and ask for a £15 to be paid. If you can't afford it, just don't have one.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 16-May-13 11:33:53

Have you posted about this already? Because I am having the strongest deja vu, even down to the couple, 40th, party halfway between the two dates.

If it's not you - then one of the other invitees is also on here and posted about it.

Either that, or I have developed esp.

Startail Thu 16-May-13 11:37:48

In that case it is a bit cheeky unless you get a gang of mates to agree to chip in because they feel like a party and X's birthday is just an excuse.

Pay for venue first then expect paying is a bit rude. However it does mean you get out of buying a present.

I loath buying presents for adults (hence I guess liking money at weddings) and I wish non family wouldn't buy them me.
(One dear old lady, who always gets it right excepted).

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 11:41:38

hecsy no, I only got the invite last night.

Was it recently you read about this as it kind of makes sense and I wonder if someone else that has been invited has posted?

Maybe we are a last resort though as we dont even know the couple that well and the party is only a couple of weeks away so maybe loads of others have dropped out and we've only been invited to keep the costs down.........

It gets worse!

amiapartypooper Thu 16-May-13 11:43:03

startail the invite didn't say anything about not wanting presents- i think they are expected as well!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 16-May-13 11:53:17

Yes. I am sure it was only last week or so. It is just so familiar to me that I had to check the date of your op because I was convinced I have already read it!

ENormaSnob Thu 16-May-13 11:54:57

It is beyond cheeky imo.

There was a thread about someone doing similar for a christening. These people should be damn ashamed of themselves.

If you can't afford a do then have it at home or suggest bring a dish type party.

Selling entrance tickets is just tacky as fuck.

2rebecca Thu 16-May-13 11:58:45

I've never been to a party like this. If you can't afford a big party you don't have one, just have some friends round for drinks and pizzas.

Mumsyblouse Thu 16-May-13 12:02:28

I wouldn't go to a friend's party with tickets, that's not a birthday party, it's a commercial event!

Leeds2 Thu 16-May-13 12:05:16

I would decline the invitation.

pigletmania Thu 16-May-13 12:05:20

Very rude and impolite. If you cannot afford a party li that don't have one. I would not go!

CaramelLatte Thu 16-May-13 12:07:13

Hope this is not a new trend emerging, it is beyond tacky and just downright rude. Are you going OP?

MrsMelons Thu 16-May-13 12:08:37

How awful, if they can't afford a party then just book out a restaurant and people will be more than happy to buy their own food.

Very rude!

pigletmania Thu 16-May-13 12:10:19

Fine if you don't mind offending peopl and loosing friends. It's not a trend I've ever heard of accept for mumsnet

ZZZenagain Thu 16-May-13 12:10:49

YANBU I find that very strange

Groovee Thu 16-May-13 12:11:48

I wouldn't pay! When I was in 6th year, the first girl to turn 18 charged people to go to her party because her mum and dad wouldn't pay for one. I refused to go. The only one I did pay to go to was one where the birthday girl asked for £1 to put towards the holiday scheme run for disabled children who'd had their funding cut. She made £100 and it helped the charity who thought they wouldn't be able to stay open apart from some generous offers.

I genuinely cannot afford many nights out and being charged to go would make me say no.

BlackAffronted Thu 16-May-13 12:17:44

Weird, I read this exact OP a few months ago ....

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 16-May-13 12:26:28

Was it months ago? I am also sure I read it, but more recently than that. Although I suppose the OP could have been written earlier but I only came across it recently.

Someone else on here has certainly been invited to this party, haven't they?

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