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To want to go to my Sisters' party?

(80 Posts)
LaraCroftInDisguise Thu 16-May-13 10:01:51

This might be a bit long so I apologise in advance.

Two of my sisters have big birthdays coming up. They will be 21 and 30. So they are having a joint party to celebrate.

My family live 100 miles away from me, so I don't see them that often. In fact the last time I was with my mum and all my sisters at the same time was about 3 years ago.

The problem is that DP's DF died last year and the party will be at around the time of his birthday and death. It would have been his birthday at the beginning of July and the anniversary of his death is towards the end of August. This party is happening at the end of July. So somewhere in the middle. (The party was booked before he died.)

I know this is going to be a very sad and difficult time for DP (as it will be for me too, but obviously not on the same level) and I want to be there to support him. But I also miss my own family and would like to celebrate a big occasion for both of my sisters.

I would love DP to come as well but I have never put any pressure on him to do so. Last night I was talking to my Mum and the party was mentioned. DP went in a massive strop with me and said he won't be going. And if I insist on going and blowing money on it then he is going to blow money and take himself to Europe for the weekend and celebrate his DF's life that way. He didn't talk to me all night and barely said goodbye this morning when he left for work.

I really don't know what to do for the best. What do you think, am I being completely selfish and should I not go to the party?

I welcome all your opinions but please don't flame me.

claudedebussy Thu 16-May-13 20:36:08

the loss of his father should surely mean that he'd want you to spend time with your family.

i've lost my father. was absolutely devastated. but by no means did i try to stop my partner seeing his family. why would i?

sorry lara, he's being totally unreasonable, and unsupportive of you!

minibmw2010 Thu 16-May-13 21:10:32

So the whole of July and August are out then? He's being daft. I'm sorry for his loss but honestly that's just petty to threaten you with going off on his own if he doesn't get his own way.

maddening Thu 16-May-13 21:23:34

I think he has wanted to do the Europe thing and this has provided him with the leverage - otherwise his response makes no sense - it is not on any special date, it isn't going to cost a lot and it is a special event. b

BlackeyedSusan Thu 16-May-13 21:38:23

he should be thinking about how he/you would feel if you did not go, and it turned out to be the last time you could all get together. never miss an opportunity, you never know when it is the last time. (my dad died suddenly last year. )

pigletpower Thu 16-May-13 22:49:03

Fuck him off and toss him a black armband as you walk out the door to go to the party.

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