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Not to want to pay for my 17 year old DD's mobile phone?

(111 Posts)
Absolutelylost Wed 15-May-13 14:39:32

She earns about £40 a week for a couple of sessions of washing pots at a local pub whilst studying for A levels and insists that absolutely everyone else has their phone paid for by their parents. It's only me that's totally tight and unreasonable. Apparently it's her right.... She's having to save her money for something very important but it's not my business to know. I have paid her contract for 2 years but I think it's about time she took some responsibility.

Am I unreasonable?

Absolutelylost Fri 17-May-13 15:46:11

I think she leaves her room looking like a squat to prove that she won't give in to my petty bourgeois demands for a semblance of order. Just seeing a square inch of carpet would be nice.

Absolutelylost Fri 17-May-13 15:43:38

I do, to a certain extent Lottie, because she wears me down. I have 3 other children, 3 part time jobs, a DH with a demanding job and a fair size house to run. It's easier not to get sucked in. DH is supportive, we agreed that we would restore her contract when she cleared her room. She is in the middle of AS levels at the moment so she claims, probably reasonably, not to have time. As soon as they finish, she won't have that excuse anymore.

higgle Fri 17-May-13 13:41:00

I amnot a particularly generous parent and DS2 isn't over indulged but I do pay for his phone (Contract, just under £11pm) as part of his pocket moey. PAYG is more expensive and he couldn't have the contract in his name until he was 18 anyway. I'll carry on paying while he is at uni - will ensure he keeps in contact and keeps safe, then he will be on his own.

LottieJenkins Fri 17-May-13 13:30:31

OP it sounds to me like you let her get away with it. You should tell her to do the jobs suggested rather than shrugging your shoulders and saying "not in my liftime........" hmm

EldritchCleavage Fri 17-May-13 13:21:55

Yes, but by offering (and her failing to accept) then the reason she doesn't get a contribution is HER OWN FAULT and ENTIRELY IN HER POWER TO CHANGE.

I'm very keen on making reasonable offers that are bound to be unreasonably refused. It outmanoeuvres the opposition and gives one the moral high ground!

What does your DH think, by the way?

Absolutelylost Fri 17-May-13 12:48:22

I like the idea, Eldritch, can't see it happening in my lifetime!

EldritchCleavage Fri 17-May-13 12:09:57

I would tell her she can have a contribution (not the whole lot paid) when she starts making a regular, not nagged for and proper contribution to the running of the household: tidy room, basic chores (ironing, emptying dishwasher, putting bins out etc).

theoldtrout01876 Fri 17-May-13 00:33:39

I pay all my kids cell phone bills blush they are 20,19 and 17. They all work part time but are still in full time education so I told them Id pay till they finished college

lets not talk about the car payments and car insurance payments

mum11970 Thu 16-May-13 23:22:10

We pay £15 a month for ds1 (15) contract with unlimited calls and texts. He has my old iPhone 3 gs and actually offered to pay it himself out of his paper round money but we agreed to pay it as part of his Xmas present. We're all on O2 as it's the only network we can get at home. We're on the north Wales coast, a mile down the road it switches to Vodafone.

BackforGood Thu 16-May-13 22:53:17

I'm with TalkMobile.
ds is with Tesco.

Neither of us has ever had a problem with coverage, except in the remotest mountains of North Wales (and that's the same for all providers). No idea about rest of Europe - never used them there.

SacreBlue Thu 16-May-13 22:38:40

sock grin Beattie splatter him against the wall as she opened her fridge

marriedinwhiteagain Thu 16-May-13 22:15:23

Who with Backforgood. Which provider and do you have wide and strong signal cover throughout tHe UK and Europe?

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 16-May-13 21:27:44

Lolled at this ^ as I recall public phone boxes being a source or entertainment when I was a teen sad but true <hoiks Zimmer frame pants>

Is busby in?

CheapBread Thu 16-May-13 21:06:29

Bloody hell she's got an ipad aswell?! Just say no.

I can't help thinking mumsnet in 10years time will be full of parents moaning about having to give their adult children money to make their mortgage/car payments because they're financially clueless and entitled.

BackforGood Thu 16-May-13 20:45:35

I'm with Lottie though - I pay £7.50 a month for 5000 texts, 250minutes and some internet (can't remember the amount but I've never got anywhere near the limit and use it most days).
Why would you want to be paying out £30 a month or more ? confused
Oh, and in case you think I don't use it 'cos I'm an old codger (true) my ds has his phone surgically attached to his hand, and he sticks to his £7.50 a month contract too (different provider)

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 09:27:29

TBH i am with tesco and I think we are 30 a month for 2 phones and that is with data added

olgaga Thu 16-May-13 09:24:43

Unbelievably I'm 22 and the only one of my close friends who pays her own phone bill!!

Yes, I think it's quite common now. It depends entirely on whether the parents can afford it. The same, I suppose, as buying a car/paying for the running costs a car etc which a lot of parents seem to do as well.

There's no reason to be paying for really expensive contracts. People tend to pay way over the odds because they never compare when the term is up, never switch, or stick to PAYG which often works out much more expensive.

I'm a bit of a nerd in this respect, I admit, but I keep a close eye on mine and DDs usage and average it every 6 months.

In my case, years of being with one network has paid off because as an established customer I always get a positive response when I get in touch and ask to reduce and personalise my tariff.

Moneysavingexpert and Moneysupermarket are good places to start!

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 08:52:09

I think it depends on the network lottie and what they have if they have say an IPhone then you have got data as well, DD2 has internet on her phone but hers is a tenner a month and she uses the wifi,

LottieJenkins Thu 16-May-13 08:45:44

Why are the contracts so expensive? Wilf's contract is £5 a month and includes unlimited texts which is fab as he rarely rings due to his deafness and communicates with everyone 99% of the time by text! smile

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 08:45:02

Unbelievably I'm 22 and the only one of my close friends who pays her own phone bill!!

what shock

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 16-May-13 08:39:33

I certainly wouldn't. Not while she was giving me that sort of attitude.

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 08:36:57

just not forking out these incredibly high contracts each month for them

yes I agree with that that is why I refused too a tenner a month 02 did mine fine and no iphones either and I think if they have money then they should be paying for top ups or contracts, nobody really deserves an all singing all dancing mobile just cos their friends have them

Ibet all those saying oh I didnt have a phone when i was young I managed I bet if they were around in the dark ages you would all be wanting 1 and texting like loons like teenagers do today wink

LottieJenkins Thu 16-May-13 08:28:13

Absolutelylost It sounds to me like your daughter says "Jump" and you say "How high DD???" I cant believe that she complained about the repairs to her phone. She has broken it umpteen times so she should pay for repair. I bet she couldnt afford to send it to Apple like she wanted you to. My ds has a basic alcatel phone and I pay £5 a month for his contract to Virgin!

stupidlybroody Thu 16-May-13 08:11:53

I'd make her pay. I've been paying my own phone since I've been old enough to have a contract. Unbelievably I'm 22 and the only one of my close friends who pays her own phone bill!!

Absolutelylost Thu 16-May-13 08:04:58

And can I also mention the 3 previous iPhones that have had cracked screens within weeks, and I have shelled out £60 a time to fix. And she had the cheek to complain that I did it on the cheap and I should have sent them back to apple and have them done properly....

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