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Aibu or is dh?

(16 Posts)
littleducks Wed 15-May-13 11:07:30

Am on phone so please forgive autocorrects.

Dh was recently made redundant, I'm pregnant. Things are stressful and I think we are both on edge. I am taking a course which has exams this month.

Tomorrow dd has an eye test at moorfields at 10am. I made the appointment when dh was working and was planning to take her, with dh taking ds to school then going in to work. In late afternoon I have an exam, in London not far from moorfields.

If dh has been at work I would have taken dd to school then turned round and gone back for exam. About 2hours round trip.

Today I asked him to drop ds at school, then collect dd from me after the appointment (from somewhere on route) take her to school and then pick both kids up from after school care (booked long ago to cover exam). This would give me some time to study, I have found it really hard to do any work with dh in house and as money us now tight don't want to pay to go for in library etc.

He was really unimpressed saying it was my problem as I booked eye test. He doesn't want to spend all day running kids around (on bus so is a PITA but again money issues).

I'm angry as I spend loads if time running kids about. It's crap, it's boring but needs doing.

I realise an obvious solution would be for dh to take her to eye test. I'm not keen in this as appointment was hard to get and I have been to all previous appointments (at normal opticians so not on any records) and I am a little worried about her sight and am really hoping this appointment provides answers.

StuntGirl Wed 15-May-13 11:23:14

You have an exam. He has nothing specific planned tomorrow. Why can't he take care of the kids while you go to your exam?

CSIJanner Wed 15-May-13 11:29:01

YANBU - it's called parenthood.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 15-May-13 11:32:12

Always amazes me when one parent feigns surprise at sheer effort of running around keeping appointments and doing normal chores like taking/collecting DCs to or from school/after-school club.
How do they think these things come to pass? Fairies? Magic flying carpet?

As you say tempers may be frayed and the mood is not good at present but putting that aside, deadlines and check-ups still have to be met. It may be that H isn't proud of himself for that tantrum and having vented will now be more amenable. This isn't a favour to you at stake it's DD's vision. Why not let your H assume responsibility this time for DD's eye appointment?

After this check-up and your exam you and H are going to have to talk about stress and coping with life and how you'll get along if he is unemployed for a while.

tumbletumble Wed 15-May-13 11:40:10

Of course YANBU.

tumbletumble Wed 15-May-13 11:40:44

Good luck in the exam!

poorbuthappy Wed 15-May-13 11:42:20

Everything Donkey said.
Tough shit.

fieldfare Wed 15-May-13 11:54:07

Although my suggestion would be - dh takes ds to school, all of you go to dd's eye appt, he then takes dd to school. You can go off and find somewhere peaceful to have a final revision session and then do exam. He can go home, do some housework, get dinner on and then pick up the children from after school club. By the time you get home everything should be under control and your dinner should be ready.

quoteunquote Wed 15-May-13 12:15:56

Ridiculous, is he trying to sabotage your exams?

I'm not sure why you have to pay to use a library, but if your husband cannot be as helpful and supportive as possible without being hassled into it, you need to address this after your exam.

Does he consider himself a whole parent or a part parent?

littleducks Wed 15-May-13 14:52:43

sorry that wasn't clear, I have to pay to get there not to get inside as it were

littleducks Wed 15-May-13 14:57:08

But it looks like IANBU so will try and broach the subject again tonight.

SquinkiesRule Wed 15-May-13 16:15:55

What a dick. He needs to step up and be a parent quoteunquote has the best idea.

littleducks Thu 16-May-13 19:18:50

Ok so exam sat. Only three more to go in next two weeks. confused

I took dd this morning with dh meeting us there after dropping ds at school. So all good on that front too. It has highlighted just how stressed we both are, fingers crossed it gets better soon.

tumbletumble Thu 16-May-13 19:32:24

Hope things improve soon for both of you

StuntGirl Thu 16-May-13 19:33:44

Good luck for your exams ducks.

Toadinthehole Thu 16-May-13 20:09:00

I am guessing your DH must be stressed out to the max, having been made redundant and probably worried about how to support the children. It must be hard for both of you.

Even so, he's still BU: he has time to take them, he should go. I take it that was the only reason he gave?

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