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(27 Posts)
AngieCW Wed 15-May-13 10:02:26

My daughter and I have been spending a lot of time looking for a beautiful prom dress, looking at choices for hairdos, jewellery, shoes, transport etc. I have been really supportive (and generous) but last night was devastated when she announced that she also requires another outfit for the after prom party. Is this really necessary and am I being unreasonable? Please help I feel a bit cheated today. Thanks Mums.

Sirzy Wed 15-May-13 10:03:55

How old is she?

If the after prom party is more of a clubbing type thing I can understand wanting another outfit BUT I would be telling her to wear something she has!

ClementineKelandra Wed 15-May-13 10:04:38

The whole thing is unnecessary.

CocacolaMum Wed 15-May-13 10:06:07

can we go back to leavers discos now please? < wanders off grumbling about the Americanisation of everyfuckinthing >

squeakytoy Wed 15-May-13 10:06:34

wtf is an "after prom party" ??? confused

tell her to wear her normal bloody clothes!

aderynlas Wed 15-May-13 10:06:57

My daughter had the lovely dress etc, but for the afterprom party just got a dress from topshop that cost £10, thought she looked just as pretty in that to be honest. Hope your daughter has a lovely time.

AngieCW Wed 15-May-13 10:14:23

She is sixteen in August - her and her mates are great girls but aren't they missing the point? - I didn't even get changed after my wedding!

niceguy2 Wed 15-May-13 10:21:47

YANBU, The whole prom thing drives me mad since I have a DD who is also planning hers.

What I did was set her a (generous) budget and let her sort it out herself. Of course she's not 100% happy about it but then personally I think a budget of £200 is more than generous given she has no job!

UnChartered Wed 15-May-13 10:25:16

'after prom party' confused

isn't the prom 'the party'?

TidyDancer Wed 15-May-13 11:09:51

I hate that this horrible prom shit is creeping into UK schools.

Tell your DD if she is desperate for the dress, she can fund it herself.

ChaoticTranquility Wed 15-May-13 11:44:34

DD had a prom but there was no after prom party. That's a new one on me.

ChaoticTranquility Wed 15-May-13 11:48:47

Dress was about £90, inc p&p, jewellery £5, bag £18 and shoes £25. She did her own hair and make up. Transport was her dad taking her to her school where transport to the venue was laid on and picking her up again/dropping her off here at the end of the evening.

Agree with TidyDancer about your DD funding her own dress.

Wouldntyouliketoknow Wed 15-May-13 12:37:33

Yes, she needs to either buy something for the after-party herself, or wear something she already owns.

This seems to be a new thing - the after-party for my prom (about 10 years ago) was just at someone's house, and we just stayed in our prom dresses! Where are they all going to get changed?

teenagetantrums Wed 15-May-13 12:42:30

no don't do it, im in the middle of prom hell, if she wants to get changed let her take something she already has, so expensive for one night, its not like they will wear the dress again, we have no money and her granddad is paying for the dress, still all the rest of the stuff get..

Goldmandra Wed 15-May-13 12:42:47

DD1's 'after prom' is a camp-out on a friend's farm where they are all going to burn their exercise books. They are all going home to get changed into jeans first. That seems like an appropriate 'after prom' to me.

If it is just a second party they should stay in their prom outfits. Surely all the other parents aren't buying a second outfit?

soverylucky Wed 15-May-13 12:47:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AberdeenAngusina Wed 15-May-13 12:49:39

DDs after-prom was at someone's house and she just changed into jeans and a top. They went straight from after-prom to school next morning, so they all worn something they could sleep on the floor in. Then changed into school uniform and off to school.

AFAIK, part of the point of the after-prom is to drink alcohol, as the school makes sure there is no alcohol at the prom itself.

IrritatingInfinity Wed 15-May-13 13:18:24

My DD has her prom coming up and she (and I ) are loving every minute of the preparation. It's fun and it is nice to spend time with her.
You don't need to spend much if you don't want to. When we were shopping for a dress she tried on several lovely dresses that were less than £30 - they looked great.
She is going to do her hair and make up herself. Her shoes were £40 but as we are both the same size we can both wear them afterwards so they will get plenty of use. Transport is costing £7 grin
She is working really hard for her GCSEs and I think it is nice for her to have something exciting to look forward to. Isn't that the whole point?
I don't understand why people are do against the 'proms' . There is nothing inherently wrong with things just because they are American and a different to what we did when we were their age. There are a million and one Americanisms that have crept into the UK way of life. I don't get why Proms seem to grate over all the others perhaps, with the exception of baby showers, they don't go down well either hmm
My DD has an after prom party dress, it cost £25 and will be worn again and again. It is a short black sequinned Coast dress reduced from £185 shock She looks stunning in it. My DD works as a babysitter and is paying for everything except her main dress which we are happily paying for. If we were skint she would pay for that too.
I am picking her and her friends up from the after prom party at 2 in the morning.
I don't see the problems with Proms at all.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 15-May-13 13:21:34

Tell her to get stuffed.

Honestly. If she wants an after prom outfit she can wear something she already owns, borrow something or fork out for it jherself out of her own money.

I think you should tell her she is being cheeky.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 15-May-13 13:22:55

Oh and I really like e whole prom thing. I quite happily spent a lot of money on dd for her prom dress etc last year. But if she had asked for an extra outfit she would have been given short shrift.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 15-May-13 13:23:48

I did dd's make up, it was really very sweet. She doesn't normally wear it.

crypes Wed 15-May-13 13:29:01

Wouldn't an after prom party kind of start at about 11pm or 12pm, who would host that kind of late party ?

crypes Wed 15-May-13 13:29:47

11pm or midnight

jacks365 Wed 15-May-13 13:37:37

As a mum who has already done 3 proms one of which included an after party i'd advise talking to her about how she's going to cope with the outfits, how she'll carry them, where she'll change the crucially what she'll do with her prom dress.

If she's coming home then just tell her to wear something she already has.

The dd who had an after party was one arranged by the school at a nightclub and for those reasons most girls chose short dresses for the prom (aged 18)

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 15-May-13 13:40:31

She has tweaked the puppet string too far. Nice try DD! Yanbu to call a halt. If she wants extras she can pay! It needn't cost a lot. Had she said at the outset you'd have worked to a lower budget for the prom items. She can save up for it herself babysitting, dog walking.

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