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to be angry? Need some unbiased opinions.

(25 Posts)
IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:04:28

So bit of backstory...

Me and DP moved in to PIL's house on a commercial basis. Their circumstances had changed and they separated for a short while. DP's mum rented alternative accommodation. So DP's dad suggested we move in as the house is too big for one person.

DP dad moved back in with DP mum to give things another go. They had a dog that.lived with them and the house was a no pets rental.

I didn't mind as thought it was on a temporary basis. Fast forward a year and they have moved to a pet friendly house. I assumed that the dog would be living with them. I was really struggling with keeping on top of all the dog hair in the house. It was everywhere and really did start to annoy me. I am also pregnant with number two. DP never bothered in helping clean up after the dog.

So I asked if PIL would have the dog there. I thought this wouldn't be a problem to be honest...

Oh how wrong was I?!

PIL are now considering either moving back in or selling and buying another where they currently live.

AIBU to be pissed off? I've just finished decorating DDs bedroom as well as buying new light fittings all to find out that we will probably have to go.

Thanks if you managed to get to the end of this! Sorry about typos on my phone.

DaemonPantalaemon Tue 14-May-13 20:08:39

YABU. So you don't live in your own house, you live in a house rented by other people and you are annoyed because they have a dog, and because they are moving? Did I understand this? If you are indeed paying rent to them, you can clearly afford your own place, so why don't you and your DP just get your own place??

TSSDNCOP Tue 14-May-13 20:17:04

I think the problem is that you don't have a commercial agreement. If you did your landlords wouldn't have dumped their dog on you and you'd have a clear understanding of when your rental period was to expire.

Unfortunately you have made the classic error of doing business with family.

CloudsAndTrees Tue 14-May-13 20:18:38

Anger is taking it a bit far.

It sounds like there was a misunderstanding at the start of the agreement. They thought you were taking on the house along with the dog, and you assumed that the dog was only a temporary fixture. It hasn't worked out the way you want, but you have options, none of which are that bad.

You can keep the dog, or you can rent somewhere else. They are not exactly terrible choices. You only avoid these types of problems when you buy your own property, and even then, you just replace them with different problems.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:19:31

We moved in because they said it would be long term.

Basically I wasn't told that we would be expected to keep their dog for the next decade. Now I have said I am not comfortable with that the want to either move back in or sell up. We can afford our own place but it would be in a deprived area unfortunately hence why we were keen to move in here. Hope that makes sense.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:24:43

TSS you're right there won't be making the mistake again.

Clouds you're right, I just really like other here and had started to add our own touch to the place. (PILs were fine with this btw)

Wish we could afford a deposit to buy!

This misunderstanding is making me feel really awkward.

I'll be honest the dog was hard work, I was the one who tried to train him, buy him a bed and toys. I just hated the hair everywhere even in places where the dog didn't go. hmm No amount of brushing or hovering stopped it.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:25:29

Hoover not hover.

Fuckwittery Tue 14-May-13 20:29:25

i dont understand. you asked if they could have dog back, not only did they say no but as a result of your request decided you could no longer live in the house you are renting from them? is that really right? what has happened to dog now?

CloudsAndTrees Tue 14-May-13 20:30:37

Make it your DPs job to furminate the dog every day. It might help.

OHforDUCKScake Tue 14-May-13 20:32:14

What an upheavel but it sounds as though YABU, because you knew it was temporary.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:32:51

Wittery they have taken him back but aren't happy with it by the sounds of things and have decided that they don't want to inform LL.

So they either want to move back here or sell up.

OHforDUCKScake Tue 14-May-13 20:33:29

Oh I read it wrong. Apologies, I got from the OP that it was temp, Ive just seen that it was long term.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:35:19

OH I thought the dog was temporary not the house. House was supposed to be long term

It seems we can only stay here if the dog stays here too which.being completely honest i am not comfortable with.

Suppose we had better get looking in time before number two arrives.

notmyproblem Tue 14-May-13 20:40:48

They sound like entitled idiots. You don't want the dog, presumably your DH doesn't care if he's not doing any of the care for it. Your PILs want a dog but only if it lives with you and you look after it in (your) house?

If they're in a pet-friendly rental house now, then they can take their dog back. What kind of pet owners leave their pet to be looked after someone else for years on end?

This is a blessing in disguise actually. Move out, leave them and the dog to it, and be happy you're no longer under their entitled and frankly manipulative thumb.

NapaCab Tue 14-May-13 20:42:28

YANBU to expect your PILs to show some consideration for the fact that you're pregnant and have a young child to take care of already. I'm surprised that as grandparents they're putting their dog's comfort ahead of their grandchildren's to be honest! It all sounds very odd.

Why get you to move in 'long-term' and then mess you around so much? They sound really flaky and so I would be annoyed as well. It's not a trivial thing to ask someone to move house with a young baby and expecting DC2. Why did they bother asking you to move in in the first place if they couldn't make up their minds? I would be annoyed in your situation. And why do they have a dog if they're expecting someone else to take care of it?

maddening Tue 14-May-13 20:43:24

What about taking the dog back?

OHforDUCKScake Tue 14-May-13 20:43:43

I feel for you OP, how long until number 2 comes along? Presumably, theres no deposit to get back from this house?

Patchouli Tue 14-May-13 20:52:41

oh crikey. I can see how there's been a misunderstanding.
A year + is long term to a lot of people.

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 20:54:11

Got a while yet Oh but houses round here are a bit scarse at the minute!

I feel awful to be honest uprooting my daughter.

I wouldn't mind but she literally couldn't sit on the rug due to the hair. Hovering never got them all up and even if it did it would be the same again in a couple days.

Lioninthesun Tue 14-May-13 20:58:18

To be honest I think it would be better for everyone if you moved out and let them get on with it. If you don't you risk further family friction. I imagine you are happy there and don't really want to move when pg, but really it was a rental and if you can afford your own place, even if it isn't as nice, then you should be being independent. You don't want them pushing you out when you haven't had time to find/buy somewhere else. I'd start looking now.

Lioninthesun Tue 14-May-13 21:01:29

Oh and YANBU. My friend had a similar issue with her parner and no kids; his parents kept putting up the rent and then gave them 2 weeks to vacate as they found someone else who would pay even more. Parents do strange things to 'family' sometimes. If I were her I would have moved out the first time they upped the rent, which is why I think you should get your head around going sooner rather than later smile

K8Middleton Tue 14-May-13 21:02:06

What is your dp doing about this? Or does he not deal with his own parents or the dog?

honeytea Tue 14-May-13 21:02:20

If no one wants the dog why don't you take it to be rehoused?

IRCL Tue 14-May-13 21:18:09

DP thinks it will be no hassle and thinks nothing of it really. It's all hunky dory to him. He's far too laidback. He thinks nothing of the mounds of hair everywhere.

Ill be honest I don't know why they don't honey! I presume they don't want to rehome hence why they want to move back in.

Lioninthesun Tue 14-May-13 21:23:04

Your DP doesn't sound very supportive atm. I think you need to explain to him that as you now have to move he needs to help you find somewhere.

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