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aibu for not wanting this woman to go?

(9 Posts)
StinkyElfCheese Tue 14-May-13 18:38:17

I have posted about my dad's new partner ( mum died last may) she has moved herself into dads house stopped him from seeing any female friends of my mum's and dosnt let him go anywhere without her I have ranted about her before

Problem now my lovely aunt ( mums sister) has passed away and this woman is intending to go to funeral with dad she evenasled me about getting 'family flowers'

She will not be welcolme by mums family mainly as she stopped him from seeing them ( yes I know he is an adult and makes his own choices) most have never met her and don't I tend to.

My cousins don't really want her at the funeral she only met my aunt the once twice at most they have said to my sis they would farther have me and sis than dad and girlfriend.

I love mums family there is always hugs and laughter and general love around and I don't want it to be awkward for the family. So aibu to ask this woman not to go?

Nanny0gg Tue 14-May-13 18:42:00

I understand your feelings but be prepared for it not to end well.

LouiseSmith Tue 14-May-13 18:44:19

We had a similar event recently in our family. The person who wasn't wanted there, was told politely in advance he wasn't welcome. Wasn't told where or when it was.

She should have more respect than that for your aunt.

minouminou Tue 14-May-13 18:46:07

Do you think this could be her way of approaching you as a family? To reconnect (or connect for the first time, rather).

zoobaby Tue 14-May-13 18:54:57

Sadly, I think you need to be prepared for this to become your dad's issue too. I don't know why times like this turn into "I'm making a stand for my new relationship" sagas. Definitely not the right time for it, but it does happen.

Can you just get the family flowers with card from the Cheese family (she'll just assume that includes her) rather than naming individuals, and also consider her presence as being a comfort to your dad (even though I'm sure that won't sit easily).

Scholes34 Tue 14-May-13 19:08:24

I think it's your dad you need to speak to. Could be an opportunity to discuss lots of things.

StinkyElfCheese Tue 14-May-13 19:41:13

We have tried to talk to dad without her he finally agreed to meet me and sis fir lunch after weeks of cancelling us he stayed 1 hour inhaled his food and she called him 4 times.....

I will try and talk to him about it but I can't see it going well whichis why I thought I would ask her directly not to go

StinkyElfCheese Tue 14-May-13 19:43:46

She is ordering her own flowers as she believes she knows which ones were my aunts favorite and tried to tell me all about my lovely aunt and how much she loved x y and z

If my child wasn't with me I would have torn a strip off her

StinkyElfCheese Wed 15-May-13 16:57:22

My cousin visited and asked dad not to bring his partner as they wanted the chance to say goodbye to there mum without everyone talking about this woman.... I only hope he respects there wishes

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