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to be pretty terrified that being a child abuser

(336 Posts)
FocaultOff Tue 14-May-13 13:08:20

has actually caused some people to rise to positions of power only because Parliament's power has been corrupted absolutely:

Following the developments of Savile, I continue to be shocked, saddened and horirified on a daily basis - I just cannot get over the depths of this and how far up and nationally this goes. WTF is going on? It took Portugal 7 years to sort out the Casa Pia orphanages abuse network with their very own Savile TV type figure involved. I cannot give a shiny shit about EU referendums and Nigel Horsey Mirage while we now know all this....2015 election has no other issues surely? So long as any party is protecting alleged child abusers within their ranks and preventing due process of criminal justice system being applied to them for a court to find innocent or guilty, as with all other subjects of the law, none shall be above it, then they cannot have be entrusted with power.... how do we know child abusers aren't influencing sentencing guidelines for child sex abuse offences for example?

Am I being crazy to think people would be shouting from rooftops about this if they knew, or does everyone already know and just accept this is the way it is? Not paedo hating public hysteria....I'm a pacificst and I want to see democracy fixed so more like a very severe public Paxmanesque probing on National TV for some of those in charge of the various child abuse inquiries that have thus far been unable to provide proper resolution over the question of abusers in power and children in care being trafficked round the country to be sexually exploited? Why is at the very least this not happening?

Punkatheart Thu 16-May-13 08:28:58

I was at a restaurant last night, watching kids outside squealing on a lawn, doing handstands and generally being children. I thought of this thread and how to some people, that innocent is something far more sexualised - and felt really really sad.

JJXM I am so so sorry that you went through that horrific abuse. It makes me shake with anger that you suffered that.

But I do agree in part with the sexualisation of children and the hypocrisy. Picked up a parenting magazine the other day with a lipsticked toddler. Yuck!

Not so sure where I stand on hairy legs (if you know what I mean) - I tend to feel in the summer in particular, like a monkey if I don't shave. I don't think that is about being child-like. Shaving one's pubes though - now that is an odd trend - very old-style art paintings, where hair was considered too much down there!

ryanboy Thu 16-May-13 08:43:19

I think 'the sexualisation of children' is a red herring

PoppyAmex Thu 16-May-13 09:55:34

Oh FFS the sexualisation of children argument is ridiculous; you're talking about a relatively recent phenomena (Victorian children certainly didn't fit this category) and child predators have existed since times imemorial.

"But society cannot expect that noone will find children attractive - not when we have gone out of our way to make them appear so. And it is hypocritical of society to find the desire it works so hard to promote, disgusting and vile."

ICB so do YOU feel attracted to children when you see them wearing a vile babygro sporting the word "sexy"?

Thought not. Neither do I. Neither do most people.

To claim that the sexualisation of children is directly (or even indirectly) responsible for that "desire" is just obtuse.

In fact, part of this pathology (I'm still refusing to call it a sexual preference) is that offenders usually prefer children to look like children, as that's part of the attraction.

To use your analogy, a woman is dressed in tight, revealing clothes will never appeal to a gay man because the "desire" simply isn't there.

sheisaba Thu 16-May-13 10:05:14

The 'sexualisation' of children has a dash of victim blaming peppered in it, toddler wearing lipstick and playing dress up is a tiny minority of the population. Young boys are a large group that are regularly abused. They don't in general go around wearing 'sexy' logo t-shirts that 'makes them attractive' to others. They are just children end of ffs.

Child abuse has nothing to do with looks, it's about power and countless other factors.

JJXM Thu 16-May-13 10:35:34

It has nothing to do with what the child wears - it is about dominance and control. What was 'attractive' about me was my vulnerabilty and fear. I was targeted my a second paedophile in a one off incident after my own abuse had ended. I was 12 and on the bus in my school uniform - not a Britney Spears uniform but a skirt below my knees, white socks and a blazer. The man who sat next to me on the bus put his hand up my skirt and into my underwear. I was so terrified that I couldn't move. It was my terror that was attractive.

Most paedophiles won't go to their GP because they would then be placing a barrier to easy access to children. Although, I firmly believe that there should be funding into prevention of abuse, there should be more money put into helping those who have been abused who face a lifetime of physical and mental health problems.

Unacceptable Thu 16-May-13 10:52:27

Took the words right out of my mouth sheisaba
Of course when people are talking about the clothing and styling as being a factor in abuse they are exclusively talking about the abuse of girls.

Lipstick and the like is never asking to be abused whatever the bloody age!!!

FocaultOff Thu 16-May-13 11:32:53

Pete Saunders from NAPAC on 5live to Nicky Campbell yesterday morning! Didn't hear live y'day just listened to it on iplayer - states a former cabinet minister will be arrested soon. Didn't Daily Mail run a front page saying that in February?

FocaultOff Thu 16-May-13 11:36:10

We are going to see widespread huge scale of sexual abuse of young boys going back 6 decades to Kincora in Belfast through to Islington, Lambeth, North Wales, Jersey, Leicestershire. When Paedophile Information Exchange did a survey of their members for which age of children were their preference sexually boys 10 - 14 were most popular IIRC.

Am hoping our criminal justice system isnt as fucked as our FS regulatory systems (Banks too big to fail) and we haven't got people who are essentially too powerful to prosecute.

bottleofbeer Thu 16-May-13 11:52:19

Paedophiles like children because they are children. All this crap about dressing them so they look older a big old red herring.

They don't want them to look older. That's the point.

Punkatheart Thu 16-May-13 12:26:44

That's enlightening. Although I still do not like seeing children dolled up - it just looks wrong to me. But I take on board a lot of the observations. It makes it even more depressing, if that's possible.

I will come out now and tell you that when I was 13 and a very gangly goofy pre-teen, I was followed home by a man asking me to try some sweets. He followed me down a shortcut I wasn't supposed to take home and tried to kiss me. Luckily, although I was a gentle child, I kneed him in the groin and ran home. My very tall and very aggressive older sister went out into the (small) town - found him and got the police. Yes, he was a known paedophile and yes, he was arrested.

I would never ever say that sexualising of children with lipstick etc is ever an excuse, an invitation - that would be appalling. I just don't like it very much.

A child is a child and deserves an innocent and happy childhood. I felt incredibly shaken by the man attacking me and it does seem to be the unworldly children they target - which is horrifying. We do have to try and put into perspective that paedophilia is a deviation, not a norm. That said, if it is brought up in conversation, there will often be a number of people who have stories like mine or incidents where it is clear that there was intent.

ICBINEG Thu 16-May-13 14:04:05

hmmm I take the point about sexualization of children not being relevant. I hadn't thought of it like that.

I still think the society wide idea that women are more attractive if they remove evidence of being post puberty might be a thing though.

So do people find they have the same level of revulsion for Gerontophilia (sexual attraction to the elderly)? Obviously the level of revulsion associated with actual sexual activity isn't the same because the elderly can consent (although you only hear about it when they don't sad ) and children can't, but what about the sexual desire itself?

Gerontophilia is far rarer and hence arguably more deviant and abnormal but I am willing to believe that the thought that a friend of your is an utterly non-active paedophile is far more disturbing than the thought that a friend of yours is an utterly non-active gerontophile?

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