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to expect my husband to support me after miscarriage?

(9 Posts)
pajamapants1 Tue 14-May-13 10:17:20

I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and when I told my husband he asked me to consider abortion, (we already have 2dcs) he said we couldn't afford another one and would have to move house. Anyway long story short I disagreed with the abortion but miscarried a few days later, the doctor said it might have been due to urine infection.

When me and husband were laughing and joking with each other last night we were winding each other up and he said as a joke "maybe it wouldn't have happened if you weren't so moody" would you class this as funny?! He hasn't even mentioned the miscarriage since it happened I've been on my own with it.
He's usually lovely and kind but seems to lack emotions at the moment?! Aibu by telling him to f* off? I don't feel happy with him now.

purrpurr Tue 14-May-13 10:19:33

Woah. WTAF? Tell him to fuck off and then some. Jesus.

So sorry for your loss.

Loulybelle Tue 14-May-13 10:25:40

Heartless twat, he can fuck off on the shitty fuck he rolled in on

Sorry for your loss flowers

EuroShaggleton Tue 14-May-13 11:11:12

What a tvvat.

icklemssunshine1 Tue 14-May-13 11:15:26

So sorry for your loss. It does extremely insensitive but sometimes people say things without thinking. 8 weeks after my MC my MIL made the comment to me when I came to collect our DD that she would dote on her all the more so as she wasn't going to get any more grand children! I knew she wasn't referring to my MC I my about it seems my brother-in-law will never settle down but it still hurt.

SunshineMiddle Tue 14-May-13 11:26:07

Sorry for your loss. My husband struggled emotionally after I m/c (in a stiff upper lip kind of way) but what your OH said sounds massively insensitive. If you're feeling bad about it then it was wrong. Sorry to hear you've been on your own emotionally since your m/c. Is there anyone who you can talk to?

mayorquimby Tue 14-May-13 11:50:34

Sounds completely out of order.
Only thing I'd want to know is what you mean "you were winding each other up" and then he said something he claims was a joke?
Where you both making off comments about the miscarriage as a sort of shared joke I.e. winding each other up in a jokey way?
Or where you actually winding each other up as in getting on each others nerves?

valiumredhead Tue 14-May-13 11:54:09

I am speechless!

pajamapants1 Tue 14-May-13 13:18:16

We were just making jokes with each other about the silly things we've done mc wasn't even mentioned until he said that. I have close family I can talk too but don't like to bother them really. He's just marching about in a huff today so clearly there is something playing on his mind. I'd love to know what it is!

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