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Is it ok to leave a 4 year old at home while you do the school run? AIBU?!

(148 Posts)
3MonthMaid Tue 14-May-13 08:20:33

Ok so I don't want to sound judgey, but I am genuinely concerned about this. My neighbour has started leaving her 4 year old DD at home in the flat whilst she collects her older son from school.

We live very close to school, but as its a huge school it can easily take half an hour at times. The classes are late coming out, the teacher wants a word etc etc.

It should be added that the little girl in question is pretty feisty. I've seen her climb up the fridge, run herself baths, open the front door etc.

I'm just concerned- on the other hand I'm wondering if its me being too over cautious? My DD is a few years older and I wouldn't do it...

randgirl Tue 14-May-13 09:21:26

No way, i only leave my 10 year old at home to pop out quick if my 14 year old is here too.....

HOw old is the older child? If the school is so close cant the older child just walk home?

Why does she leave her home alone (if its the am school run is she still asleep?)

hamdangle Tue 14-May-13 09:21:28

No it's not OK and not for any length of time either. It takes, on average, three minutes for a fire to completely gut a kitchen if a toaster goes on fire. What possible reason could she have for not taking her too?

SirBoobAlot Tue 14-May-13 09:25:52

How exactly do you know that's what she's doing? Have you seen her shutting her DD in the flat? Heard her talking about it on the play ground? She could have dropped her off with someone else / have someone in the flat with the DD during the school run.

If she is leaving her DD alone then of course it's an issue.

SundaysGirl Tue 14-May-13 09:30:37

No its not ok.

miemohrs Tue 14-May-13 09:33:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bollockstoit Tue 14-May-13 09:35:47

No, unfortunately it's not ok to leave a 4 year old alone for any length of time (my life would be sooo much easier if it was!)

5madthings Tue 14-May-13 09:37:05

No its not ok and i am quite laid back about these things and will leave my eight year old if i nip out sometimes, but four?!!! No.just no.

McNewPants2013 Tue 14-May-13 09:38:47

No it's not acceptable a call to SS is in order.

lionheart Tue 14-May-13 09:39:51

Not a chance.

cory Tue 14-May-13 09:42:32

For once, MN is unanimous and there is no sign of the usual division into more laidback and more cautious parents though representatives of both camps are clearly on the thread. I think you can take it that nobody would find this a good idea.

pictish Tue 14-May-13 09:42:53

No way. What if there was a fire for example??
Not a hope in Hell would I be doing that!

pictish Tue 14-May-13 09:43:17

Oh and I am lax. As fuck.

waikikamookau Tue 14-May-13 09:44:45

yabu to start a thread with a ridiculous question. tbh.
and don't just judge.
do something proactive.

ValiumQueen Tue 14-May-13 09:44:57


The school will not be able to say or do anything either. They will say if you are concerned then to call SS yourself.

Please call Social Services.

mrsjay Tue 14-May-13 09:45:21

I am lax too maybe not as fuck grin but I am pretty laid back ,

TheFallenNinja Tue 14-May-13 09:48:14

Not in a million years. No, a billion, maybe even a zillion.

AmberSocks Tue 14-May-13 09:51:59

no yanbu,its not safe and im sure its illegal,why the fuck cant she take the kid with her?

pictish Tue 14-May-13 09:52:18

I once had this conversation with a friend/aquaintance of mine...maybe a couple of years ago. She was doing something very similar, and on the day I found out (as she casually mentioned it to me) I just looked at her astonished and said "What if a fire broke out?!"
I looked at her steadily while her face registered the image that was playing out in her head, then raised my eyebrows and nodded. Yup. Not good.

I still see her. She doesn't do it any more. We still get on well just as before.

I would approach the woman myself and risk a fuck off, before calling SS.

BarbarianMum Tue 14-May-13 09:54:34

Absolutely NOT OK - and I'm one of the lax brigade too.

It is not your responsibility to offer childcare, can't imagine why people are suggesting that. It is not difficult to take a 4 year old on the school run, millions of us do it!

Speak to her, or if you can't (and you are reasonably sure of your facts - no visiting granny around etc) then call NSPCC or SS.

ArabellaBeaumaris Tue 14-May-13 09:56:24

SirBoobs has a good point - I will often do the school run without my 20m DC, because DP is at home due to his shifts, or a friend/grandparent has popped in or she's asleep in her cot so it is worth checking it out.

TerrysNo2 Tue 14-May-13 09:59:43

I don't understand why people take these risks for a slightly easier life.

A few parents at DS's school leave their babies in the car when they do pick up, the pre-school is in a building behind the main school so you can't see the cars from there and it can take 10 minutes to collect them and leave.

I want to scream at them.

Snazzynewyear Tue 14-May-13 09:59:50

waikika don't see the problem with asking questions and thinking it over before you 'do something proactive'.

Zingy123 Tue 14-May-13 10:37:41

My parents neighbour did this frequently. One day the child climbed out of the bedroom window. Luckily he was unhurt by it. Some neighbours called the police and they had a visit from social services. They still do it all the time now when he takes the wife to work. They obviously are not bothered about getting into trouble.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 14-May-13 10:43:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Tue 14-May-13 10:47:02

Yes the school would be duty bound to report it but I wouldn't trust them to keep my name out of it so I would report anon to SS.

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