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Is it ok to leave a 4 year old at home while you do the school run? AIBU?!

(148 Posts)
3MonthMaid Tue 14-May-13 08:20:33

Ok so I don't want to sound judgey, but I am genuinely concerned about this. My neighbour has started leaving her 4 year old DD at home in the flat whilst she collects her older son from school.

We live very close to school, but as its a huge school it can easily take half an hour at times. The classes are late coming out, the teacher wants a word etc etc.

It should be added that the little girl in question is pretty feisty. I've seen her climb up the fridge, run herself baths, open the front door etc.

I'm just concerned- on the other hand I'm wondering if its me being too over cautious? My DD is a few years older and I wouldn't do it...

RubyGates Tue 14-May-13 09:01:26

No no no no no no noooooooooo.

<Observes 4 year old doing 4 year old things>

KittensandKids Tue 14-May-13 09:02:28

Seriously?? You don't want to sound judgey? she is 4!!!

valiumredhead Tue 14-May-13 09:04:33

Nooooo it's bloody not!!

I would ring SS anon and chat to someone. I would NOT trust the school to keep my name out of things if I talked to them and all manner of trouble could be in store if it got out.

AllThatJazzAgain Tue 14-May-13 09:06:44

This would count as a child protection and safeguarding issue.
Absolutely not acceptable!!

Samu2 Tue 14-May-13 09:07:13

No no no no no

Call SS.

innermuddle Tue 14-May-13 09:07:17

That is really scary. I wouldn't leave my 4 year old alone at all.
I assume you have children at the same school. Could you offer to take turns collecting the children/waiting with younger children?
Do you feel able to discuss this with her? If not, then maybe you should mention it to the school or health visitor. The 4 yr old is not anywhere near mature enough to be left home alone for so long. It sounds like your neighbour needs more support or advice.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Tue 14-May-13 09:07:41

Hell no, wouldn't even leave my 8 year old!

mrsjay Tue 14-May-13 09:07:49

it is never ok why is she so lazy why doesn't she take her child with her ?

HousewifeFromHeaven Tue 14-May-13 09:09:17

I am a lackadaisical parent but even I wouldn't do that.

ShadowStorm Tue 14-May-13 09:11:31


A 4 yr old is too young to be responsible for their own safety.

kotinka Tue 14-May-13 09:11:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaticFringe Tue 14-May-13 09:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MegBusset Tue 14-May-13 09:12:48

No, it's absolutely not OK and it's not up to the OP to offer childcare either. She should just take the 4yo with her like the majority of other parents have to!

kotinka Tue 14-May-13 09:13:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 14-May-13 09:13:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetmelissa Tue 14-May-13 09:14:39

This is absolutely not on. Someone will know better than I do but surely that is neglect, or am I being too simplistic? If something, god forbid, did happen, the mum could be facing charges.

It wasn't for the McCanns?!!?

mrsjay Tue 14-May-13 09:15:13

I cant understand why ANYBODY would think that was alright confused

Snazzynewyear Tue 14-May-13 09:15:22

No it's not ok, and agree that it's not up to the OP to offer to take the child either. The parents should take care of both their kids properly as other parents of two kids do.

cory Tue 14-May-13 09:16:14

I am usually all for independence, but I think 4 is too young. I would be very uncomfortable with that.

Rockinhippy Tue 14-May-13 09:17:23

Mine has always been very sensible & older than her years & could be trusted just to sit quietly & read or watch TV - but there is no way in hell I would have left her home alone at that ageshock - she was 8 before I would even consider doing that just to pop to our local shop, all of 10 minutes tops.

I believe its not actually illegal though, but seeing things like this make me think it ought to be sad

BlueberryHill Tue 14-May-13 09:18:06

YANBU, way to young. How difficult is it to get a 4 yo out to pick up another child. It is called parenting. Very, very lazy and dangerous.

Rockinhippy Tue 14-May-13 09:18:36

PS I second mentioning it too the School

FJL203 Tue 14-May-13 09:18:53

"are you going to offer to have the 4 year old?"


Why on earth should she?!

3MonthMaid, YANBU at all.

DeafLeopard Tue 14-May-13 09:19:25

4yo is way too young.

FJL203 Tue 14-May-13 09:19:49

Another vote for mentioning it to the School.

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