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Is it ok to leave a 4 year old at home while you do the school run? AIBU?!

(148 Posts)
3MonthMaid Tue 14-May-13 08:20:33

Ok so I don't want to sound judgey, but I am genuinely concerned about this. My neighbour has started leaving her 4 year old DD at home in the flat whilst she collects her older son from school.

We live very close to school, but as its a huge school it can easily take half an hour at times. The classes are late coming out, the teacher wants a word etc etc.

It should be added that the little girl in question is pretty feisty. I've seen her climb up the fridge, run herself baths, open the front door etc.

I'm just concerned- on the other hand I'm wondering if its me being too over cautious? My DD is a few years older and I wouldn't do it...

MardyBra Tue 14-May-13 08:21:20


starfishmummy Tue 14-May-13 08:21:47

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. She shouldn't do it

olibeansmummy Tue 14-May-13 08:21:49

God no!

BramblyHedge Tue 14-May-13 08:22:12

I wouldn't leave my seven year old let alone my four year old.

SkinnybitchWannabe Tue 14-May-13 08:22:17

No way. Ive only just starting letting my 10 year old stay at home when I nip out.

ThreeBeeOneGee Tue 14-May-13 08:22:33

I started leaving mine for this length of time once they were ten. After going through what to do in various eventualities and making sure they knew how to call my mobile from our home phone.

megandraper Tue 14-May-13 08:22:49

Not okay and I would think illegal. I can see how it would be tempting but she mustn't do it. Could you offer to have the little girl at your flat some days?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Tue 14-May-13 08:22:58

YANBU it sounds like an accident is waiting to happen.

NorthernLurker Tue 14-May-13 08:23:03

Of course it isn't safe. You need to tell her that she mustn't do it - and if she carries on you need to ring Social services. That child is too young to keep herself safe.

Yonihadtoask Tue 14-May-13 08:23:36


It is ok to leave a child alone when the parent judges that the child is responsible enough to left.

A 4 yo is not.

AshokanFarewell Tue 14-May-13 08:23:43

No. She is too young to know not to open the door to strangers, not to wander off, what to do in a fire etc.

mumschoc Tue 14-May-13 08:23:47

OMG no! What if there was a fire.

MrsMelons Tue 14-May-13 08:24:03

no, I wouldn't leave my very sensible 7 YO either. Its very lazy IMO!

Fairylea Tue 14-May-13 08:25:13

No way.

DontMeanToBeRudeBut Tue 14-May-13 08:26:38

No it's not ok. I can understand the temptation but it isn't safe.

pooka Tue 14-May-13 08:27:37

No. I wouldn't do this.

I have left my age 7 and a half ds1 alone for 15-20 mins. But take ds2 with me (he's nearly 4). DD is now nearly 10 and walks to shops or home from close friend on her own.

waikikamookau Tue 14-May-13 08:27:38

are you going to offer to have the 4 year old?

yegodsandlittlefishes Tue 14-May-13 08:32:12

No, it isn't ok. However, if she is so feisty, you can see how it would be difficult to get her out if she doesn't want to go. Do you go to the school at the same time? Could you offer your parenting skills ( bribes , smiles, rewards for good behaviour) and suggest you all go together?
Going forward, is there a local school or church that would run a parenting course? Sounds like the mum could do with some wider support and advice before it turns into a bigger problem.

Dawndonna Tue 14-May-13 08:37:11

WTAF! Four. Dangerous and stupid behaviour.

BeckAndCall Tue 14-May-13 08:39:12

This is absolutely not on. Someone will know better than I do but surely that is neglect, or am I being too simplistic? If something, god forbid, did happen, the mum could be facing charges.

ArabellaBeaumaris Tue 14-May-13 08:44:27

The length of time is the issue for me. I can do my school run in about 8 min round trip & I would possibly leave my 4 yo at home, half an hour is way too long though.

diddl Tue 14-May-13 08:54:53

I wouldn't do it.

How old is the boy-does he need collecting?

Not sure that it's up to OP to offer free childcare/a solution, though?

CherylTrole Tue 14-May-13 08:59:44

YADNBU she should bring the 4 year old with her. Ridiculous.

Sirzy Tue 14-May-13 09:00:14

why isn't she just taking the 4 year old with her?

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