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to really not want to go to this meeting following a painful rejection!?

(19 Posts)
millionthtimelucky Mon 13-May-13 16:18:51

Quick overview (well, quick-ish): I worked at an organization for a year on a contract. I then applied for a job and got an interview. As part of the selection process, I had to present to a group of my peers/colleagues. I should say that I didn’t know them well, partly because I had very young kids at the time and very much concentrated on getting the job done in the hours available rather than 'networking' (nearly all of which would require being excessively polite to mainly middle-aged men who consistently and repeatedly forgot my name and/or confused me with the other woman with kids in the department).

The presentation went badly, and I didn’t get the job although the feedback was confusing. That I was considered entirely capable of doing the job by the selection panel but that I had ‘no support’ from the existing team. I swing between total mortification and sort of real anger about the whole process which felt brutal.

Anyway, I have now been asked to go to a meeting at this place which will be attended by many of the people who sat in the presentation. I just don’t think I can face it. I just feel that I put myself on the line, fell flat on my face, and was found massively wanting. Now I can’t bear the thought of sitting in a room with a load of people who have decided I am crap.

Is that pathetic? Should I get over myself and get a grip? What would you do?

Bricklestick Mon 13-May-13 16:27:18

Depends what the meeting is about, and if it's important or not, really. However, it's highly unlikely they'll be judging you, tbh.

MTBMummy Mon 13-May-13 16:27:42

YANBU to not want to go, but to be a professional we all have to occasionally just suck it up and do things we don't really want to do.

millionthtimelucky Mon 13-May-13 16:28:41

I know it's not all about me ... and no, it's not that important but it is if I keep missing them (there will be more)

Bricklestick Mon 13-May-13 16:29:26

Is it a work thing? If so (and I mean this kindly) suck it up.

ajandjjmum Mon 13-May-13 16:35:03

Tbf maybe they were looking for someone who would become more involved with the team, and the 'networking' that goes with it. You don't sound to particularly want to be part of the team.

If it's a regular meeting, you have to go, because going to that first meeting will never get easier.

Maybe use this as an opportunity to show them what they've missed?!!

newgirl Mon 13-May-13 16:38:55

I reckon the only way to deal with this is to act super confident so they think they got you wrong - dress amazing, get hair cut, massive smile then afterwards massive glass of wine

quesadilla Mon 13-May-13 16:39:55

What's the meeting for? Impossible to say without knowing...

salcz Mon 13-May-13 16:46:30

Go to the meeting and show them you're not crap!

FiteFuaite Mon 13-May-13 16:52:51

Up their bums,the fuckers angry They had a great chance to have you on their team and didn't grab it. You go to the meeting and let them see how fab you are. Bastards the lot of them < disclaimer: might have pmt>

quesadilla Mon 13-May-13 17:24:16

I think I would go (without knowing what it is). There's a lot to be said for facing your professional fears - it teaches you you can deal with stuff like this. It will also show professionalism and backbone. You may not have got this job but presumably some of these people may be on a position either to hire you or recommend you for other jobs and their opinion of you won't be improved by your flaking it.

ll31 Mon 13-May-13 17:29:59

Think you should go to meeting,be professional,good luck

stealthsquiggle Mon 13-May-13 17:33:13

In what capacity are you going to the meeting? The ideal would be to bluff it out (subtly!) that you are now in so much better a position than if you had taken their poxy job.

TBH, the middle aged men might not even remember you....

NeverQuiteSure Mon 13-May-13 17:36:19

Grit teeth. Big smile. Happy and confident.

They'll either completely fail to make the connection or be wondering whether they got you all wrong.

Then home and wine.

starfished Mon 13-May-13 17:48:45

Someone has to get the job - more people don't get the job. You need to move on from this and just go to the meeting as if it's any other day (which it is).

mamaneedsarealitycheck Mon 13-May-13 17:54:40

YA definitely NBU, feeling the way you do is understandable. But - you do have to rise above the "rejection" (you may well have been a very close second) and as someone else said, show them what they missed out on. You never know what other positions might open up...

RainbowSpiral Mon 13-May-13 18:23:30

Getting turned down for a job you know you would be good at is very hard to take. But this meeting is presumably about something else so just treat it like any other meeting, attend, say a bit, leave. Sorry to hear you didn't get the job after the interview though, try not to let it knock your confidence.

Groovee Mon 13-May-13 18:27:38

I've missed out on 3 jobs recently and have then had to go and work in the same place as I missed out on and just had to get on with it. The longer you leave it the worse it will get. I always hold my head up high and think that maybe the right thing for me is round the corner.

macreturnofthe Mon 13-May-13 18:59:28

Yep go to them meeting and hold your head up high. The only fact that mattered in your feedback was that they all thought you were perfectly able to do the job - but just didn't fit into the team like they thought the other person would.

your post does show you what you need to do next time - a bit more networking, but that's a simple thing to do, far worse would be if they told you you weren't capable

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