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To mention this to DS's teacher

(31 Posts)
Tweasels Sun 12-May-13 18:54:19

DS is 8 in Year 3. He has told me some things that a friend (same class) has told him. The first incident was when DS asked me what spunk was? After choking on my tea and asking about context he said X told him about it. X said spunk comes out of your willy and you put it on girls faces, boobs and bums. hmm

Second incident in the car yesterday, DS pipes up that X has told him that if his mum is nasty to him he is going to stick his balls up her arse hmm shock

Obviously, this has led me to have conversations with DS that go way beyond your average sex ed chat. Thankfully he's very naive and was quite uninterested.

X has older siblings, which is where I assume (hope) this language is coming from.

WIBU to mention this to DS's teacher as something to watch out for as I feel this is age inappropriate sexual language or am I being naive and this is the norm for 8 year olds (please tell me it's not).

Hulababy Sun 12-May-13 18:56:19

Yes, I think you should mention it to them. It is way and above your average y3 child's conversations imo. It is likely to be coming from much older siblings I guess, but I think school need to be aware so they can follow up if they need to.

Hawkmoon269 Sun 12-May-13 18:57:26

Oh my. I would be speaking to the teachers straight away. I'd be really upset if anyone said that to my children when they were 8!

Hawkmoon269 Sun 12-May-13 18:58:14

To be clear - if be upset for your dc and the child who said this. Way too much information for such a young child.

Hawkmoon269 Sun 12-May-13 18:58:32

I'd, not if.

StitchAteMySleep Sun 12-May-13 19:00:17

Year 3, no not normal. I thought you were talking about a teenager at first.

Sounds to me as if he is being exposed to sexual material/conversation. You should tell the school as this is a child protection issue, they will follow it up.

theoriginalandbestrookie Sun 12-May-13 19:00:51

Not unreasonable at all, school should be aware

crashdoll Sun 12-May-13 19:01:49

At that age, YADNBU. Do talk to the teacher.

BarbarianMum Sun 12-May-13 19:02:32

The spunk thing, together with the complete misunderstanding of the sexual act is, unfortunately, entirely normal. Quite a lot of young boys who've heard a bit about sex (but not much about anatomy) imagine that the willy goes up the bum, presumably as that's the only hole they've got and don't know women are constructed differently. I wouldn't assume from that a child is aware of anal sex, necssarily.

The second comment is quite disturbing. Are X's siblings teenagers? I would probably mention it to their teacher, but in a fyi way rather than a 'do something about it' way.

pinkdelight Sun 12-May-13 19:03:33

A boy in reception class was like this and we reported it. Turns out he shared a room with much older brother. Quite horrifying. Definitely say something.

SilveryMoon Sun 12-May-13 19:04:22

Yes, I would definitely be talking to the school. Either teacher or welfare/pupil protection officer.
My ds1 (5yo Y1) came home talking about knives and how he was going to go to the kitchen when I was in bed, find his favourite knife and die himself.
I was straight on the phone the following morning to raise my concerns.
I do agree that the language your ds has picked up from this other boy is way way too above what he should be hearing and I wouldn't be happy at all.

NellysKnickers Sun 12-May-13 19:06:03

No YANBU. Not at all. Shocking at this age, even if it has just come from older siblings. Not what I would want to hear from y3 ds at all.

Tweasels Sun 12-May-13 19:06:47

stitch I thought about it being a CP issue. I know it's something I look out for in my line of work.

My instinct is that is that there is a lack of structure and supervision at home (just from other stuff DS has said). And I feel relatively confident that it won't be a CP issue but I think I'll speak to school and let them follow their procedures.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged Sun 12-May-13 19:08:34

As a teacher of secondary pupils, I would be raising a concern as a cp issue. I think you should certainly speak to the teacher as soon as possible.

Tweasels Sun 12-May-13 19:14:11

Barbarianmum Yes certainly one sibling is a teen but I think there is a wider extended family also. According to DS x is allowed to watch 18 rated films and play on Call of Duty, but that may or may not be true.

StitchAteMySleep Sun 12-May-13 19:17:39

It might turn out to be exposure to adult material from older siblings, but that is still not ok. Reporting it will mean that the parent will be made aware and the school will be monitoring things just in case something more serious is going on.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 12-May-13 19:22:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming Sun 12-May-13 19:25:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessKM Sun 12-May-13 19:31:36

shock that stuff he said makes me feel faint and I'm 28!

I would be demanding the parents of that child be made to explain themselves fully! That's is not okay behaviour or words from a little boy!!

Tweasels Sun 12-May-13 19:32:52

Oh, I feel so relieved that everyone thinks this is as serious as I do. DH thinks I'm overreacting.

CitizenOscar Sun 12-May-13 19:33:49

YANBU - my DH is a primary teacher and would refer this on as a child protection issue if a parent mentioned it to him. Whether the school would di anything more is another matter. But you're not UR to mention it.

CitizenOscar Sun 12-May-13 19:34:14

*do anything more

Tweasels Sun 12-May-13 19:34:49

JessKM I won't be asking the mother to explain herself fully. She looks well hard. grin

Coconutty Sun 12-May-13 19:36:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessKM Sun 12-May-13 19:42:48

Maybe that's one of the slices then tweasels hmm

Let the headteachers do it for you lol

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