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to quit my job in this climate?

(146 Posts)
burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:21:05

Hi all

Need some MN wisdom, regular ( although not on AIBU), have namechanged as I dont want to out myself. This is more of a wwyd to be honest.

I am a secondary school teacher, been in job 8 years, at top of pay scale and also have extra responsibilities. However I am miserable. School are heaping more and more work on me, I rarely leave the building before 6, later some nights, then im back in front of my computer screen when dd is in bed. Admittedly some parts of the year are worse than others and I am currently in the middle of one of the crap parts (exam season), but I want to leave. Other things are swamping me about the job, increasing targets, incredible scrutiny from parents, heads, bloody Gove, Ofsted. There also feels to be a culture of kids being encouraged by pastoral leaders to complain about teachers and I have spent the last month defending myself against things I'm supposed to have said or done to upset xyz kid. Its exhausting and so damaging for the self esteem, I feel crap at my job in spite of gettting good results.
Heres the thing, I want out of teaching completely because I feel done with it. My DP is postively encouraging me to resign and said he will finanacially support me through a careeer change (socia work or OT) and although it would be tight, he could cover it. I can't help but feel though that it is madness to walk out of a well paying job without another one to go to, and one that lots of people would love to have. .
I'm in my mid 30's, one child and the idea of being a full time student while dp works his backside off feels so self indulgent to me. There is a deadline to resign coming up (31stMay) and I just cant write the letter. DP is getting increasingly frustrated with my indecisiveness and feels that I am being unreasonable not to take his offer but then complain about being unhappy.

AIBU? does anyone else think that it would be crazy to just leave and sort out a course/another job after I've left? my mum is climbing the walls btw, thinks im throwing everything away, which fills me with more doubt, that I am indeed..... 'throwing it all away'

FingersCrossedLegsNot Sun 12-May-13 15:25:27

Go for it, you only live once, why be miserable every day....don't throw your life away! I'm a teacher btw!

Tiredmumno1 Sun 12-May-13 15:28:35

It's a hard one, as I can understand that you have a stable job and you may feel daft just giving that up, saying that you seem to have a lot of pressure on you, which sounds like its eating into your home life. Your DH has made a lovely offer and if it's doable then could be the answer to what you want to do.

Sometimes you have to do what you feel is best for you, and go into another career that you really feel interested in. Just explain to you DM you are widening your horizons smile

Tiredmumno1 Sun 12-May-13 15:29:03

sorry DP blush

HollyBerryBush Sun 12-May-13 15:29:46

I think teaching is a thankless job at the moment. Ofsted and it's frame work have seen to that; and the big academy chains sucking the life blood and enthusiasm out of people.

I'd be amazed if an NQT manages 5 years before thinking 'feck this, I can make much more working in up town', packs their bags and heads for Cannon Street, pronto!

Tiredmumno1 Sun 12-May-13 15:29:58

then that could blush whoops blush

LindyHemming Sun 12-May-13 15:30:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:31:51

thanks both. My mum doesnt understand the 'widening horizons thing'. She thinks I can only afford to do that If I have another job to go to. I am terrifies of messing it all up, for example not being able to get onto a course, or end up bumming around unabvle to get another jobsad

JuliaScurr Sun 12-May-13 15:32:37

It's a terribly hard job.
Go part-time?
Home tutor to sick/excluded/whatever kids

LindyHemming Sun 12-May-13 15:32:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyBerryBush Sun 12-May-13 15:33:52

Worse comes to the worst, you can go supply for a bit.

magimedi Sun 12-May-13 15:35:04

Your DH obviously sees how unhappy you are. I suspect you'd do the same for him. If you are mid 30's you've probably got another 30 years of working life - do you want to be unhappy for all of that?

And if it didn't work out I assume you could go back to teaching? You are not totally burning your boats.

MissAnnersley Sun 12-May-13 15:35:16

You should definitely go for it.

I'm in Scotland so things are not quite so bad yet, but if the things I read on here are just a small sample of education in England then YANBU.

jellybeans Sun 12-May-13 15:36:18

I would leave and find something that it satisfying. How great that you have the chance to do that-I would grab it. I am a SAHM and p/t student (OU) and don't feel bad at all that DH works full time to support us. I do all the childcare etc and house stuff, finances etc so do my share albeit it is in a different capacity. Good luck deciding.

enpointe Sun 12-May-13 15:36:38

going back to teaching is pretty difficult to be honest. I know few people who have done so successfully. That said, it's a terrible job in the wrong school.

SomethingOnce Sun 12-May-13 15:36:39

If you're in a position to be able, resign if your job makes you unhappy. Life really is too short.

From what I hear, social work may be the fire to teaching's frying pan so investigate your options before committing yourself.

Lj8893 Sun 12-May-13 15:37:07

Go for it! If dp can afford to support financially and emotionally then you should absolutely bite the bullet and do it!
Before you know it your studies will be over, and I'm sure there's bursarys etc you can get.

If you don't do it you will probably deeply regret it!

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:38:17

I am considering social work or occupational therapy. My DP isnt supportive of the idea of going for social work as he feels its a frying pan to fire situation. I dobt I'd get enough work as a tutor, and I guess I could go supply, but in terms of longer term solutions, I need to change my career. Actually I think im way too late to get onto a course starting this september, so suppply is probably a good option to tie me over ( if theres enough work)
We are lucky than DP earns a good salary, but I dont want to take the mick either.

mightbemine Sun 12-May-13 15:41:05

I don't think it's self-indulgent to be a f/t student with one child at all! I speak as someone in the final year of my second degree, supported entirely by DH's salary - it's a real challenge, and my subject is much 'fluffier' than the ones you're considering.

My motivation for going back to study was the realisation that life is too short to spend it doing something that makes you miserable and stressed. Your DH is happy to support you to help develop your own interests and that's exactly what he should be doing, as someone who loves you and wants you to be happy.

Agree with SomethingOnce about the move to social work though - I know teachers and social workers socially and, while both groups are stressed, the SWs are more so! But I understand that some people thrive on that sort of pressure (definitely not me, hence my choice of doing a non-vocational artsy subject).

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:43:10

crossn posts, thanks guys. You are all pretty much saying what DP is saying. I have heard about it being hard to get back into teaching, but the school should give me a decent reference and they cant deny my results, so perhaps this would stand me in good stead for the getting back in if I need to?

I thought about maybe trying to get a job as an OT's assistant this year to suppport my appplication to uni, and maybe see of I like it well enought to forge a career from it. There doesnt seem to many of those jobs around though. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do? Doubt very much I will get onto a course in sept, its very competitive I'm told. I would like to do the masters ( only 2 years) but its miles away from home and also very competitive to get in to)

LittleDirewolfBitJoffrey Sun 12-May-13 15:43:48

It sounds like a good option personally. I think in your shoes I would do it, but only you can decide for yourself.

blueshoes Sun 12-May-13 15:44:35

Go supply and use the time to clear your head. You have been working too hard to make a clear and rational decision about what you want to go into next. Research your options and then go for it! Good luck.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:45:04

I'm sure right about now some of you will be wondering if I really am a teacher with my dreadful spelling and grammar! They are typos- honest! grin

manicinsomniac Sun 12-May-13 15:50:51

It's a tough one but, tbh, I don't think it's a good idea to leave a stable job without anyhting else to go on to. If you dislike teaching then absolutely look elsewhere but I woul secure another job before quitting.

Someone made a suggestion of part time which sounds ideal if you have a husband who can support you financially. Is part time an option?

Also, have you considered private schools? I teach in one and the paperwork and crazy, pointless tick box exercises are a fraction of what you get in the state sector. You would find that the physical hours on site are longer than what you do in a state school but they're more relaxed and enjoyable hours that you can spend focussing on the children not planning etc and you get longer holidays too.

LindyHemming Sun 12-May-13 15:52:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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