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AIBU to expect the buyer to pay the cost of my traveling to meet him half way?

(81 Posts)
WeAreEternal Sun 12-May-13 14:01:34

I sold something online, the buyer asked me if I'd meet him half way, I agreed, then realised he lived 5 hours away.

He has asked me to meet him two hours away, it will cost me about £50 to get there.
I told he this and he said "ok it will cost me about the same to get there too."

After several messages I figured out that he was under the impression that I would be coving the cost to get to the meeting city.
I told him that I would like him to send the £50 before I go and he said that he expected me to cover the cost from the money he is paying for the item he is buying. I said no and he has been really rude since.

I'm supposed to be going to meet him tomorrow, but I have said that I expect him to cover the cost of my traveling or I won't be coming.


phantomnamechanger Sun 12-May-13 15:42:24

It's tickets that are dead easy to post, and he'd rather you both had to travel long distances at some expense? You have to travel, give up all that time, trust that he WILL in fact be there when you get there? he expects all this of you and yet wont pay? (having blatantly misled you with the "too far to cycle" line!)

something very odd here, bordering on sinister and creepy in fact (it makes no SENSE) - avoid him and relist!

drinkyourmilk Sun 12-May-13 15:56:57

It all sounds very dodgy to me.
I'd cancel sale and relist

thishouseisashittip Sun 12-May-13 16:02:08

Another one here saying cancel and relist.
Quick question, why should you never accept PayPal on collection only?

NynaevesSister Sun 12-May-13 16:05:29

You will travel all that way and spend money and time to get there ... And he will say I only have X money with me counting on you being dispirited enough to just accept it.

If he gives you money in advance then it will be seen as you entering in to a contract and that gets complicated. Don't do this. End it now.

phantomnamechanger Sun 12-May-13 16:06:05

Q - does this buyer know your address? just wonder if he wants you out the house on a wild goose chase to burgle you or something, as there is no reasonable explanation for his expectation that you should incur significant expense in delivering to his chosen place.


BreakOutTheKaraoke Sun 12-May-13 16:09:38

Thishouse, the buyer can tell Paypal they never received the item, you won't have proof of postage obviously, so Paypal will automatically rule in their favour. The only safe way of collection is cash on collection.

thishouseisashittip Sun 12-May-13 16:17:36

Thanks breakout, I understand now.

Oldraver Sun 12-May-13 16:22:34

He bought them knowing he lived 5 flipping hours away..the onus is on him to cough up the travel expenses

PurpleCrazyHorse Sun 12-May-13 16:29:09

Seems really dodgy. Buyer pays PayPal and registered post. You then have proof it was received or insurance if it's not. Either way, you're not out of pocket. Plus you'll save yourself the travelling money for you too.

Stuff the feedback and sell to someone else locally.

Iggi101 Sun 12-May-13 17:16:40

Why is the OP charging £7 to post a small envelope recorded delivery?

Iggi101 Sun 12-May-13 17:17:12

(Is that for insurance or something?)

JackieTheFart Sun 12-May-13 17:23:17

thishouseisashittip Sun 12-May-13 16:02:08

Quick question, why should you never accept PayPal on collection only?

That's really for the buyer's protection, otherwise you could end up paying then going to collect from a false address.

Iggi - postage covers travel to PO and envelopes etc as well as cost of postage. To send recorded might not be much, but I would ask for insurance for the cost of the tickets, PO insurance only covers (I think) about £30? Next day delivery would also bump the cost up.

YellowDinosaur Sun 12-May-13 17:25:41

It's not for buyers protection Jackie. They are protected through Paypal anyway. As someone else said it's to protect the seller from the buyer claiming they'd not received it.

WeAreEternal Sun 12-May-13 17:50:03

The tickets are worth several hundred pounds, the woman in the post office told me I would need to pay extra for insurance as the item is worth more that £100.
It's a larger envelope because of a car parking pass and some booklets that came with the tickets.

The cost of 1st class recorded 'sign for' delivery plus the insurance was £6 something. I rounded it up to £7 for the cost of an envelope.

QueenStromba Sun 12-May-13 19:04:09

As others have said, this sounds really dodgy and you should just cancel the transaction. Sounds like this guy has just clocked you for a mug since you're selling the tickets for cost price.

For the people querying £50 for a two hour journey - it's that much return on the train from London to Bristol for about the same travel time.

facedontfit Sun 12-May-13 19:06:23

Cancel the sale - it sounds like the buyer is dodgy. Do not waste your time driving to meet him when they can be easily posted with insurance for a few pounds. I think he is out to rip you off. Why on earth would anyone be willing to spend £100 on petrol and hours driving when they are easy posted. It does not make sense. Cancel and relist.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 12-May-13 19:09:10

I would cancel it. I wouldn't be going miles and miles away to meet up with a stranger. what if he takes the tickets and legs it? or pays you with some fake money? or only has some of the money and tries to get you to accept that?

MysteriousHamster Sun 12-May-13 19:20:48

Cancel cancel cancel

PatPig Sun 12-May-13 19:45:44


phantomnamechanger Sun 12-May-13 19:52:20

fake money is a good point actually - I would not be going to meet an unknown person and handing over something valuable for heaps of cash on trust

as a pp said, you also run the risk they turn up minus some of the money and say take it or leave it, with you already out of pocket for the travel!

No no no!

sarahtigh Sun 12-May-13 20:03:47

tickets should be sent special delivery signed for is only upto £50

special delivery for upto 100g and £500 costs £6.22 so £7 is reasonable it is £6.95 if upto 250g

tell him to pay paypal send special delivery should be there the next day add tracking number into both ebay and paypal and you are safe

lljkk Mon 13-May-13 07:41:12

I think he's just a peculiar eccentric, he probably expects you to cycle all that way, too.
Just say you can't do it, £7 delivery price is more than reasonable.
Post order, cheque, Direct bank transfer or paypal* from a friend of his would suffice, too. (*you would be required to post to friend's paypal address, though, I think)

ENormaSnob Mon 13-May-13 07:57:08

I would cancel altogether.

He's a weirdo.

WeAreEternal Mon 13-May-13 08:07:55


so I emailed him as suggested and said that I wasn't willing to travel anywhere other than locally, and that if he wanted the tickets he either had to come and c

WeAreEternal Mon 13-May-13 08:09:17

Collect them or I could post them.

He has replied this morning.
He said I should post them and he will pay by bank transfer.

If there anyway this could backfire on me?

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