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AIBU to not allow my child to go to a football parade on a week night during SATs week?

(475 Posts)
TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:28:10

I'm being called all the names under the sun by my ex, and DS1 is sulking and barely speaking to me.

I just found out tonight that Ex DP is planning to take DS1 to watch the Man United parade on Monday night. It is 6-7.30pm, and is 25 miles from home.

Any other school night I'd be fine with this. But not during SATs week, which it is next week.

I've said he can't go. He's worked hard for these exams, his sets for high school depend on the outcome of them. I just want to do what is best for DS.

I've rang my mum, his headteacher, to ask her opinion in case I am being unreasonable. She is furious that ex thinks this is even a good idea.

This is his dads reply by text 'you too are pathetic when he rebels against you youve only yourself to blame'. And 'Like I said pathetic'. Followed by 'just wait promise you he will rebel he already can't wait to get out of mums school I will laugh my ass off'. Those are his exact words by the way, not my typos.

I want my son to do well. I hope I am not being unreasonable.

It's not like utd don't have a fucking parade every season is it??

Arisbottle Sat 11-May-13 19:31:52

I would let them go, I suspect I am not the norm on here though .

Joiningthegang Sat 11-May-13 19:33:08

My dd has Sats next week - realistically he could be in bed by 9 - surely you won't be getting him cramming in the evenings?

Just re-read and it is Monday - if it was Wednesday I would say ok then go, as it is Monday I think I would refuse too


SantanaLopez Sat 11-May-13 19:33:16

Can you not have the compromise of be there for 6, see the start, and come home again?

cantspel Sat 11-May-13 19:34:24

Stats are meaningless for secondary school as they will do their own assessments and a lot of children will start in one set in september and move to another at christmas.

I would let him go

TheSecondComing Sat 11-May-13 19:35:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedHelenB Sat 11-May-13 19:35:40

If your mum is is his headteacher then i think she may be a bit biased (sorry) What time will he actually be home? I think as long as he is in bed by 9 30 - 10 then he would get his eight hours +sleep surely?

ChippyMinton Sat 11-May-13 19:36:39

I'd probably let him go as it's an historic one with Fergie going.
Mind you, my DS was at Scouts until 10.30pm the night before his 11+, so you might not want my opinion!

TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:36:50

Having been to Manchester from where we live, busy nights like that will be, he will be lucky to be home for 9 even leaving early. His bedtime is 8.30 on a normal school night. His dad gets him up at 6.15 and he's in school for 7.30 in breakfast club.

shelli135 Sat 11-May-13 19:37:05

If he's already worked hard I don't think a few hours is going to affect his results? Possibly could affect them more with him being so upset he can't go and watch the parade?

CitrusyOne Sat 11-May-13 19:37:28

I'm a teacher and I'd say definitely go.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 11-May-13 19:37:37


He will just resent you. Let him go. I thought you were going to say it finished at 9 or 10pm. If you would let him go on a normal school night there is no reason to not let him go just because there happen to be SATS this week

TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:37:47

He does need 10 hours sleep minimum.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 11-May-13 19:38:48

I would let him go.

TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:39:29

He's also not that interested in football. His dad is. Ds1 just wants to show off in school. If he was football mad is understand but he isn't.

likesnowflakesinanocean Sat 11-May-13 19:39:39

yabu but I can sort of see why, personally I would let him go and think all the fuss over sats is ridiculous

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 11-May-13 19:40:13

Dneice has SATS next week too. She will spend 4 nights til 9pm some nights swimming training.

muriel76 Sat 11-May-13 19:40:57

Let him go. These are the things of which memories are made. SATS are not.

Tabliope Sat 11-May-13 19:41:02

I'd let him go too. SATs are more important for the school. Primary SATS won't mean anything to any of you in a few years. Make sure he has early nights in the run up to it and he'll be fine with one late night.

cantspel Sat 11-May-13 19:41:43

Doesn't matter if he is footie mad or not we want to go and his dad wants to take him. It is a one off event and one slightly later night even in stats week isn't going to blight his education in the long term.

TheDetective Sat 11-May-13 19:42:06

He is borderline 4/5 and obviously I want him to get those 5's if he can. I'd be upset for him if he didn't get the results he has worked for.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 11-May-13 19:42:24

Let him go, he sounds like he needs a break from the pressure.

cantspel Sat 11-May-13 19:43:31

But the results are meaningless and i cant even remember my sons stat results

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 11-May-13 19:43:39

Why on earth would you be upset. It means nothing. Why has he been forced to work towards a series of meaningless tests rather than enjoy actual learning?

Hummuschocolate Sat 11-May-13 19:43:58

YABU, but so is your ex by the way he speaks to you. Sats test the standard of teaching not the child. Secondary schools generally do their own assessments when the child starts and won't base sets purely on Sats esp as in recent years quite a lot of schools have boycotted Sats. Also secondary don't always put children in sets for every subject from the word go, generally just maths or perhaps English ime

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