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AIBU?

to be in a rage about this situation?

39 replies

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 13:15

DH has decided to help his family with a house move today. We have 18mo dd and I leave for work at two. His 'plan' was for me to drop dd off at where he is, before I go to work, and a family.member there will mind her.

My idea was to ask my parents to mind her in the few hours.between me leaving for work.and him returning.

Yesterday he told me that he would be two hours total (that it was just a few heavy things), so would be back before I have to leave for work. Therefore I have not arranged anything with my folks. He messaged me earlier to say it will be a whole day thing, so can I bring dd there.

Putting aside the fact that a house move is not the right place to have a toddler, that one of his family.members will.mind her (therefore making the fact that he is there.pointless as will be same amount of people), our car seat isnt in the car and is a bitch to fit (ERF) - our car is down the street to will.need to take dd with me to fit it - in her buggy in the rain while I heave the carseat.

Ive tried calling my parents - no answer - ive tried calling dh - no answer. DD is getting ratty and needs a sleep.

Oh, and dh will ave to go back.and help.tomorrow too.

So why the hell doesnt he just come.home.now?! If he is back there tomorrow, make that the long day (im.off) and come.home now instead of all this bloody hassle.

OP posts:

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TidyDancer · 11/05/2013 13:22

This might be way off, but would he have lied about the amount of time it would take so his family could look after DD instead of yours?

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:24

Ya b a wee bit u.

He's allowed to help family move house with his kid in tow.
He just is.

You'll be at work so fuck it.

trixymalixy · 11/05/2013 13:26

It might not be the same number of strong people there though. The family member minding her may not be able to lift heavy things.

YAB a bit U.

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:28

our car is down the street to will.need to take dd with me to fit it - in her buggy in the rain while I heave the carseat

Oh dear. How awful. You're right. Your dh should come home straight away.

redskyatnight · 11/05/2013 13:29

Sounds like one of those things and not worth getting annoyed about.
He thought it would be a couple of hours, it's turned out to be longer. He's organised someone to watch your DC (so no need for you to do it). Yes, it's a bit of a hassle for you to get her there but surely not a huge problem?

Lj8893 · 11/05/2013 13:30

Yanbu to be annoyed with him and the situation.

Yabu to be "in a rage" though.

Smartieaddict · 11/05/2013 13:31

I think I am with your DH on this one. If I was helping family move, while DH went off to work, I would want DC with me, rather than looked after by someone else. YANBU to be a bit irritated that it is not very convenient for you, but in a rage seems a little extreme, unless there is more to it?

Iamsparklyknickers · 11/05/2013 13:33

Yab a little u. It's a faff and I would be peeved at the short notice when a perfectly good plan b was brushed off but it's not the end of the world.

Are the people moving ones that can return the favour with a couple of nights babysitting? Would that soften the edges a bit?

Fakebook · 11/05/2013 13:33

Does an 18 month old really need undivided attention? Won't she be pottering around?

I don't understand what your problem is tbh. Don't you like your dh meeting or helping his family? Sometimes things take longer to complete than intended. You're being a drama queen.

thebody · 11/05/2013 13:33

But your dh can't let his family down after promising to help with a house move.

See I used your term, his family when in fact they are YOUR family as well arnt they??

It sounds like he has made a sensible plan.

I could mind a baby but couldn't help with a house move as my back isn't good so your comment re same amount of people is a bit daft.

So you have to get wet putting in a car seat? That's a daily reality isn't it having kids? It was mine.

Drop off dd, let your dh help your family move house and go to work.

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 13:34

But why didnt he just arrange to.do it.tomorrow when he would be totally free, no childcare issues etc.

To those who would let their toddler go - is a house move really somehwere to put a toddler? moving from one house to another, heavy lifting, her getting under everybodies feet?

OP posts:

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:35

Your dd will be fine watching all the to-ing and fro-ing btw.

There is no problem here other than you didn't get your way.

Don't be so disagreeable.

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:35

Because they needed him today, and it's up to him?

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 13:36

Btw I love his family. We get on very well, they mind dd or ask to take her out etc.

OP posts:

RooneyMara · 11/05/2013 13:37

God Pictish, have you ever SEEN an ERF car seat? I could not lift it by myself and I have lifted up a 500cc motorcycle on my own a few times

OP is there any chance your folks would consider it at short notice?

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:37

I've moved house with toddlers twice.
It's fine. Wholly unremarkable.

RooneyMara · 11/05/2013 13:38

and no I'd think a house move is the wrong place for a toddler. Yanbu at all

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 13:38

Thanks Rooney the seat is a PITA to fit and heavy heavy heavy. Car is at the other end of the street (onstreet parking so any space is a bonus). If car was outside the front door id leave dd in her cot. That isnt an option.

OP posts:

KatieScarlett2833 · 11/05/2013 13:38

Listen, drop off DC and have a great day at work knowing that DH will have had such a nightmare trying to look after DC and attempt a house move. Bitter experience has taught me that it can't be done

pictish · 11/05/2013 13:39

Ok - not wholly unremarkable...I'd rather have done it without them...but they didn't pose any particular problem other than needing attention.

Smartieaddict · 11/05/2013 13:41

Maybe he would rather do it today while you are at work, so that he can spend the day with you and DD tomorrow? Car seat does sound like a PITA though.

trixymalixy · 11/05/2013 13:43

Can he pop home to fit the car seat, then you could drop DD and him off at the house move on your way to work?

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KatieScarlett2833 · 11/05/2013 13:44

I had baby and toddler. I ended up taking them to the park while DH got on with it.
Epic Fail

ClartyCarol · 11/05/2013 13:44

I'd be narked as well, just seems like the arrangement with the most hassle, when I prefer to have as little hassle as possible.

And no, I don't think a house move is an ideal venue for a toddler, mine needed to be watched like hawks.

Can the designated babysitter from the house move not come to yours, then your DD can have her nap and you don't have to fart about with the car seat?

ChippingInLovesSunshine · 11/05/2013 13:48

It sounds like a right pain in the arse, caused by your DH not being organised, I'd be annoyed too if I had to faff on with it.

Can you double park for a few minutes while you put the seat in?

Can he not pop home to put the carseat in and pick her up as it's him that's caused the hassle.

... and no, a house move is not the place for toddlers, especially someone else's toddler.

... and to whoever asked, of course a toddler needs constant supervision during a house move - it's not safe to have them pottering around!

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