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DP away for the night - is he out of order or am I being a bunny boiler?

(162 Posts)
AAdamsA Fri 10-May-13 22:40:10

Long story short - I caught him fuckin' around on plenty of fish a few months back trying to arrange sex dates. I told him I would find it very difficult to trust him in the future. That's the history.

He had tonight booked to go and see a band and stay over in the city for a piss up with his mate (dp is 42, mate is 26). I wasn't happy about it but didn't want to turn into one of these people that never 'lets' their boyfriend out. But we agreed he would keep in regular contact and not get hammered.

So, they get there at 5pm, instantly start getting pissed up on shots and god knows what else and then he starts sending me drunken texts resembling those of a 12 year old: "my mate said do you know any fit, single nurses you could get him to together with?" hmm jesus christ. His mate sends me a friend request. I accept. He then starts posting pictures of a pissed up DP on my facebook wall (luckily my pics are set to approval first). DP is obviously hammered and was hammered by 8pm.

At 7.30 he sends me a text asking if I love him. I reply "of course I do, do you love me? xx" and I get no reply. What I get instead - are facebook updates from his mate asking where the best place is to "pull" in the city they're in along with many statuses stating "we're drunk! party time!" etc etc.

So, despite his promise that he would stay in touch and not get hammered - he's absoluetly hammered and has not text me since 7.30 when I replied to HIS text asking if he loves me. He did however, find the time afterwards to go on his phone and update his facebook status.

So go on, AIBU??

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 11-May-13 15:02:25

I had one of these. I was married and lived with him. I came home after I had finally dumped his sorry arse to find him comatose with booze, snoring in a car, stinking of spirits.

A huge sense of calm and relief washed over me. Whenever see him I still get that feeling. He is not my problem any more. He is exactly the same now, BTW, mid-40s. I have a lovely DH, lovely DD, lovely house, lovely life <touches wood>

Please get rid before you have a house and kids with him.

fryingpantoface Sat 11-May-13 15:25:20

I genuinely think you need to walk away. He doesn't make you happy. That's enough of a reason without adding anything else to it!

CourgetteSmuggler Sat 11-May-13 15:52:35

Just finished the thread.

AA please tell me you've finished this sham of a relationship.
I've never seen a situation where one person truly hold all of the cards, that's you! Don't be a fool.

fritteringtwit Sat 11-May-13 16:15:57

I think you would find going around your home chucking his belongings into a binbag and dropping them off at his mummy's house very theraputic.

His hobbies are basically looking for and shagging other women, and sponging off you. Why on earth are you wasting your life on this emotional retard loser? Is he a twelve inch gold plated mega-stallion in the sack?

What's the backstory with the mother(s) of his DCs? Did they all see the light and LTB?

He's 42. He Will Not Change. Ever. Do you seriously see him as a good prospect long term?

Ledkr Sat 11-May-13 19:04:23

He goes around with 26 yr olds because nobody his own age would want to be like him. Posting stuff on Facebook indeed.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Sat 11-May-13 21:08:21

Gosh, OP, you're so passive in all this...?!

You try to break up with him, but he doesn't agree with that (for such obvious reasons, to the outside observer), and you just do as you're told...?

You get to decide what happens to you. You do. You're the boss of you, not him.

And for the love of God, do NOT sign that contract.

Brokensoul Mon 30-Sep-13 20:31:57

O wow- he is behaving in such a irresponsible and immature way!
You don't need someone like that....

SilverApples Mon 30-Sep-13 20:39:07



my2centsis Mon 30-Sep-13 21:08:23

How did it turn out op?

Patosshades Mon 30-Sep-13 21:15:31

Oh I bet it's all rosy in the garden now. hmm

PresidentServalan Tue 01-Oct-13 09:21:38

You don't trust him so its time to split up. It's not much of a life for you or him at the moment.

Buzzardbird Tue 01-Oct-13 09:43:26

What has happened to the Zombie warnings?

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