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To just let this friendship go ?

(10 Posts)
Snowfedup Fri 10-May-13 19:53:11

A longtime friend has moved about an hours drive away from city we both lived in. I have a 5 month old she has an older child, twice now (at least in the last 2 months) she has been up to the city with her family doing kids stuff parks museums etc...

I only found out afterwards via pics on Facebook, am feeling bit miffed that she didn't want to meet with kids (I have an older child too) even for a short catch up.

She called in to see new baby once for about 10 mins only when she was up visiting others.

My dh doesn't see a problem thinks I being over sensitive and I should go and visit her (haven't been invited and would have no reason to go other than visit her)

MsVestibule Fri 10-May-13 20:04:10

So, she has been back to your city for visits but hasn't arranged to meet up with you. She hasn't invited you to go and visit her.

TBH, it sounds as though she's already decided, for whatever reason, that she wants to let your friendship go sad. Is it worth asking her about it? It's happened to me once before with somebody I considered a very close friend - it was very hurtful, but ultimately it was her choice.

digerd Fri 10-May-13 20:10:17

I should imagine seeing her family is more important than a friend and you should appreciate that. If she has lots of friends and sees them more than you, then they are more important to her.
I would feel like you, so YANBU to feel left out, but that is how it is with family and friends

She sounds busy and has a large circle of family/friends that you just have to share her with.
I wouldn't go unless I were invited, but you have a 5 month-old and she wouldn't expect you to want to visit her.

flumperoo Fri 10-May-13 20:12:34

It's not clear from your post where you live. Is it in the city that your friends has been visiting?

Have you invited her round to yours?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 10-May-13 20:14:35

DH and I go back to visit family, we don't always have time to see all our friends. Sometimes we can only see one or two. Often we're rushing around trying to squeeze in seeing family.

Can you not visit her?

Snowfedup Fri 10-May-13 20:39:12

Yes I live in city (although that's generous it's one of the smallest city's in the uk) the places she visited are only few mins from my house!

She has moved to be near her family she was just up for day trips with her dh and child.

I do think its coming to an end to be honest but am bit sad think we have different priorities now !

FreddieMisaGREATshag Fri 10-May-13 20:45:36

When I go to visit my family I'm going to visit my family. My time is not for friends, iyswim? If she's got her DH with her and her kids she's on family time, not friend visiting time. Why can't you ring her? Rather than FB ?

intheshed Fri 10-May-13 21:07:16

Have you invited her over though? If she has been in the city with her DH and kids to do something specific she might have just wanted a family day, ir not wanted to spend it driving here there and everywhere to visit friends.

I would say it's a bit hasty to just decide the friendship is over.

Pigsmummy Fri 10-May-13 21:17:11

I don't get to see my friend every time I go home for the weekend for family things, she doesn't see it the way you are. Invite her over for a specific weekend or ask if you can visit her before writing this off.

pictish Fri 10-May-13 21:28:00

Look - I think she's definitely allowed to go to things in your vicinity without coming to see you. They have gone out to do x activity...they go, they do, they go home.
Outings lik that always involve going to the supermarket on the way home, stopping for lunch etc...adding yet another 'to do' to the intinerary is often a 'not today'. IYSWIM.

I'm not saying your friend isn't fazing you out...but if you're basing it on going to things nearby and not seeing you, and prioritising family, then I would say you're probably jumping the gun a bit.
There are only so many hours in a day.

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