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To not be feeling joyous?

(7 Posts)
Zoogeek Fri 10-May-13 19:30:46

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

loofet Fri 10-May-13 19:41:51

You're not bu per se. I think it's fairly normal to be shitting it scared when an unplanned pregnancy happens regardless of circumstance. It's just lucky in a way for you that you were planning on having another and fairly soon as well.

Your age gap is a great age gap imo. By 2.5 they're fairly independent- some are potty trained, walking everywhere, feed themselves etc. And they sort of grasp the concept of a baby too. They're also able to entertain themselves with toys and such so you can see to the baby.

I had 15 month age gap between my first two then 14 months between DC2&3. So yeah, that was close. DC3 was completely unplanned, as in we didn't want another for about four years at least. But you know, what's meant to be and all that. You deal with it because you have to, it's all perfectly possible and actually not that stressful once you get into the swing of it. I can categorically promise you'll be fine smile and huge congrats flowers

Zoogeek Sat 11-May-13 19:37:45

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SomethingOnce Sat 11-May-13 20:38:20

You had a tough time last time and you say you are worried because you feel you know what is coming.

A couple of things occur to me:

Firstly, the experience may be different this time because you have learnt a lot in becoming a mother for the first time; it's not the same jump as from none to one. You are a different person and have a whole new/different set of skills than the ones you had when motherhood was uncharted territory. Also, tons of people say the experience is different because all children are different. There's a very good chance that things will be easier this time.

Secondly, you've successfully got through difficulties to get where you are now (not saying it was easy but you did it) so you can make practical plans for dealing with the worst case scenarios. I think planning how to deal with problems (while remaining optimistic about everything being easier second time round) will help you feel in control and so make it more likely you won't have problems to solve but, if you do, you already know a bit about what helps and what doesn't.

And there's always Mumsnet smile

Congratulations on your pregnancy flowers

SomethingOnce Sat 11-May-13 20:40:19

And maybe talk to your midwife who may be able to refer you for some counselling to talk over your concerns between now and when you're due.

MummaBubba123 Sat 11-May-13 20:48:39

I planned my second pregnancy and (3rd time lucky) had a 3 year gap. However, I remember being terrified every single time - when I had a 20 month, a 28 month and a 3 year gap!
For me, feeling anxious and self-doubting about being able to cope with two little ones was scary - full stop.
I can absolutely promise you that the reality was soooo much easier. Remember, most babies do so much sleeping and sitting for at least 6 months. By then, your eldest will be 3.

MummaBubba123 Sat 11-May-13 20:49:00

3 and a half

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