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I really don't think I am, but must be the only one

(37 Posts)
Tournament Fri 10-May-13 18:08:57

It's about computer games and the like.

I have a 9 yo and an 11yo. They both love their games and I admit I don't. I am stricter than most parents about restricting the time they're allowed on them. I also admit, I don't understand the games much, DH is far more interested and they play together a lot.

Anyway, after some debate, I have reluctantly agreed that they can play some 15 rated games, when with DH and provided he has already reviewed the content. I don't like it, but I trust my DH as a parent.

However, when they go to friends houses, they seem to play games with any certificate. AIBU to think 9 & 11 yos shouldn't be playing 18 certificate games and even if you allow it for your own DCs, you shouldn't be allowing other people's children to play them in your house?

It must just be me, because these are parents who are entirely sensible and responsible in every other way. e.g I let mine "play out" long before many of these parents did, somewhat fanatical about healthy eating, extra homework set in the run up to SATs etc

Tournament Sat 11-May-13 07:36:23

Yep, we do all those things and if dc go to those houses they will pay cod. I agree better to meet outside the house but that usually costs money and families like to be sociable and invite my dc over.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 11-May-13 07:37:02

Oh, and kids do quite a bit of 'socialising' at school, so if they don't do many play dates it won't kill them or ruin them or mean they will be social outcasts forever. Just be very busy with other things?

If you tell your kids they can't go to x's house because of the games, that causes a problem both in your home and potentially at school. If you say you can't go because you had planned a special family treat that day, it causes no problems, but solves the issue.

Sometimes it is just about avoiding what we don't like for a bit while a phase passes.

kneedeepindaisies Sat 11-May-13 07:38:13

YANBU. I'm in exactly the same situation with DS1 who is 10.

Against my better judgement, I've allowed 15 games which, at the first sign of bad behaviour, are removed.

However all his friends are allowed 18 games and even though the parents know i don't let him play them at home they let him play them at their houses.

It's easy to say find like minded people but I can't!

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sat 11-May-13 07:41:40

Sorry x-post.

I don't believe every family plays COD!

What do you want to do? It is all well and good me wittering on but it is your decision after all, my answers were right for me that's all.

HollyBerryBush Sat 11-May-13 09:00:06

Well, I'm afraid I don't know any teenage boy that doesn't have a copy of COD -apart from mine coz he broke his xbox and I refuse to replace it!!!!

Life is so much better since it became console free grin

Lomaamina Sat 11-May-13 21:38:16

We too insist on no underage games for our DS14 and as far as I know his friends respect the fact that his parents are "very strict" and they simply switch to whatever flavour of the month game is at the time - currently it's Civilization People might say I'm being naive, but I believe DS quite enjoys being able to 'blame' the strictness of his parents when not wanting to do something that he himself feels uncomfortable with. (He also wasn't allowed Facebook until he turned 13, unlike the vast majority of his circle). I remain shocked that some of his friends are allowed 18 games and like others on this thread, I suspect that the parents aren't aware of how nasty they can be.

badguider Sat 11-May-13 21:42:33

I think they will be exposed to these games at other houses but I think that's very different from access at home and getting really "into" the games (at friends they'll be taking turns and chatting etc). I would limit the time he spends at friends houses to short blasts of say 2hrs at a time max and stick to your rules at home.

Beamur Sat 11-May-13 21:45:00

My 18 yr old DD has commented on how unpleasant some of the content of 18 rated games are.
I think my DSS has access to them before he was 18, but certainly not as young as 9 or 11.
YANBU - it may be 'cartoon' violence, but frankly there are lots of other games out there which don't have such nasty bits in. DSS and DP used to play together a lot on fifa (football) and golf which they both enjoyed.

happybubblebrain Sat 11-May-13 21:53:56

I won't let dd have any games consoles, she's only 6 but I decided a long time it was one rule I was going to stick to. I think they are a terrible waste of time and quite damaging. I think life is far better without them. I wouldn't let her watch inapproriate films either. She plays a few little games on cbeebies etc, but she's not really that interested.

When she's with friends she can play their games, but I have trustworthy friends who wouldn't let her see anything inapprorpriate. I'm usually there when she's socialising so there haven't been any issues yet. If I knew of a friend letting their kids play with violent games or films I wouldn't allow her to go there. Simple really, but she's young so we shall see.

Lomaamina Sat 11-May-13 21:59:11

Be strong happybubblebrain grin. We didn't buy a games console for DS and the unexpected consequence was that he's much more computer literate than his friends as he's had to find other sources of (free) games playable on the internet. We've also saved a fortune by not having to buy the games that go with the consoles (always madly inflated as far as I'm aware).

TheDicktective Sat 11-May-13 22:00:51

YANBU. I check with the parents before the day on what their kids are allowed to watch/play. Ds's 11th birthday they watched Skyfall. It's a 12, so I checked with the other kids parents. Same as I checked with them that they were happy for them to go swimming without an adult in the water. It is about remembering all parents have boundaries, and rules. Why would you go against another parents wishes? I wouldn't.

I now allow 11yo to play 15/16 games, provided my DP says they are okay - he will have played them. I know nothing about games to be honest.

I won't let him watch a 15 film yet, unless I've seen it and said it to be okay - but to be honest I can't think of many 15 films I have felt to be okay.

Ex DP let DS watch paranormal activity at age 9. DS was utterly traumatised, and still to this day mentions it and how scary it was. He asks me to make sure he never sees anything like this again.

So I am pretty damn sure rated 18 games will give a similar affect!

I've just got him an xbox for his room, as I have a new baby, and I don't want the baby seeing any of these violent games. DP doesn't play them unless the baby is sleeping.

FreyaSnow Sat 11-May-13 22:03:01

I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old. I would let them play a game or watch a film with any age rating if I had viewed it first and considered it appropriate.

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