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To have laughed at my friend who said that I should be able to get all of my housework done on a Friday morning when I'm off?

(119 Posts)
doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 22:50:43

I teach in FE, 4 days per week. 1 hour commute each way. DH works in a similar job, similar commute. We're out of the house from 7.15 am to 6pm every day and both of us often have prep to do once DS is in bed.

Ds is 16 months - he's at nursery / grandparents when i work so is out of the house for 4 long days.

I was jealously admiring my friends' beautifully tidy 1 bed flat and bemoaning my shit hole of a house. DH pulls his weight (if i remind him!) but home often looks very lived in. We're also doing up our manky old house so it is getting lots better as we build rooms around our needs!

Anyway - friend reckons i should be able to get everything done on a Friday morning whilst DS sits in his highchair and watches nicely. Apparently this would save DH from having to muck in, give me loads of time for our myself and my house would be immaculate!

Was i unreasonable o laugh?? ;-)

giantpenguinmonster Sat 11-May-13 10:15:01

I just came across this which is rather lovely:

Dust if you must.
But wouldn’t it be better,
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed?
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must.
But there is not much time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear, and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must.
But the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes,
the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come round again.

Dust if you must.
But bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go, and go you must,
You, yourself, will make more dust.

- – - written by Mrs. Rose Milligan

Keep going to the park OP!

Booyhoo Sat 11-May-13 10:02:55

I think if op hadnt been complaining about the state if her house then her friend would have been a bit cheeky to offer advice but as it seemed op isnt happy with the state of it, well im not sure why it was so wrong of her friend to make suggestions.

As has been said it IS possible to clean your house (dust, hoover, floors) in a few hours once a week. ( less if there are two of you). Its perfectly fine not to want to as people have all sorts of different standards and if you're happy with a bit of dust and clutter then you wont be spening your leisure time cleanjng. But op was clearly expressing that she wasnt happy with it.

topcat2001 Sat 11-May-13 08:23:10

My house is always cleans and tidy it don't take much .

And as you are out of the house for nearly 12 hrs a day and when you get home, baby is nearly ready for bed and you and oh does some paperwork how untidy can it get!

raisah Sat 11-May-13 08:09:17

She sounds like my cousin who is completely anal about cleaning. It used to drive me mad at first with cleaning my kitchen every time she came round for lunch. Now I sit back and relax while she deep cleans my kitchen!

She is quite extreme in that she will get the dust pan & brush & brush up while my kids are eating.

TantrumsAndBalloons Sat 11-May-13 08:08:49

paradise yes, but maybe people dont want to

I dare say everyone tidies up with their DCs around.

But sticking a little one in a high chair for 3 hours whilst you clean the house isn't everyone's cup of tea is it?

Personally, I don't care if my house isn't immaculate.
In fact I don't think my house has ever been immaculate.
But it doesn't really bother me.
It's clean, relatively tidy and tbh that's good enough for me.

TantrumsAndBalloons Sat 11-May-13 08:05:22


I have worked full time since dd was 6 months old.
She is now 15.
My housework gets done as and when I can be bothered.
Although I do have to do at least 2 loads of washing a day.

The thought of spending an entire morning of my day off cleaning my house, in order to have it look exactly the same as it did before in 5 hours is bizarre.

It just gets done in bits and pieces.

Enjoy your day off with your DC. Life is too short to worry about an immaculate house. As long as you don't live in an actual hovel, who cares?

RenterNomad Sat 11-May-13 07:51:28

Er... this "competitive sloppiness"probably isn't any more truthful than competitive perfectionism (my baby slept through the night at 2 days, and started Suzuki violin while I was still on my 4-month mayernity leave from the UN).

Competitive sloppiness is an important solidarity, though, a reaction against the pressures on us. I'm sure MNers love swearing so much because it's a relief to subvert the "rules"!

gordyslovesheep Fri 10-May-13 23:07:46

I think it's possible to do a lot of HW with kids around - me, working lone parent of 3, I do everything in the evenings and at weekends. Currently selling the house so it has to be kept presentable. It is do able - if that matters to you

ParadiseChick Fri 10-May-13 23:02:04

I can't stomach this competitive sloppiness, there's really no need to live in shit and saying it's because you'd rather play with your child is just excusing laziness. Trying to validate your failures.

It is possible to gasp possible to do both!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 10-May-13 15:58:10

'this would save DH from having to muck in'. Why shouldn't he have to muck in? hmm You muck in, after all.

'It's really not rocket science. How bad does your house need to be when an hour or so won't sort it out!' Rude.

'I agree with your friend I'm afraid. I think with one toddler this is possible, I do it.' Smug.

OP, enjoy playing and napping with your child and sod the housework and sod your so-called friend too

KitchenandJumble Fri 10-May-13 15:26:50

I actually do think it would be possible to clean the house in one morning, though I doubt a 16-month-old child would sit quietly in the highchair while it happened. It depends on the size of the house, of course. We have a 3-bedroom house and I find that if we keep on top of the little things daily it is much easier to keep everything clean.

Did someone say that the average woman spends 18 hours a week on housework? I can't imagine putting that much time into cleaning. I work full time, 18 hours would be more than two additional days of work. My house is always clean. Not always perfect but certainly clean and tidy.

FruOla Fri 10-May-13 15:19:03

FruOla Fri 10-May-13 09:08:56
Next time she says it, reply "well, at least I won't die with a Hoover in my hand"

I wish I had been clever enough to think of that myself wink

That comment came from a good friend of mine, who had an ... erm ... rather relaxed attitude to housework (as do I blush!). She told it to me, with much grin grin, after her ILs had stayed with them for a few days.

Apparently her FIL (yes, you've got that right - her FIL, not her MIL) glanced around the sitting room and said "well, <DILname>, you'll never die with a Hoover in your hands, will you?"


doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 13:19:17

Laguard - i wouldn't say i was moaning. Its a fairly lighthearted thread. I have explained that my house isn't a hovel (its a work in progress so...) its just normal housework she's advocating doing.

RenterNomad Fri 10-May-13 13:14:05

P.S. FruOla, I read your remark as "died with a Hoover in their hair," and my flesh was creeping at the idea of being brought down and then scalped by the Octopus/Anteater Household Monster!

RenterNomad Fri 10-May-13 13:11:44

I never tell people if I've tidied, as I want them to think that is "messy".

BeCool Fri 10-May-13 12:58:36

Don't assume that Crinkle - I have 2 DC in one bed flat.

Crinkle77 Fri 10-May-13 12:56:26

I assume she does not have children if she only lives in a 1 bedroom flat? You can do all your housework in a morning if you are only tidying up after yourself and have a small flat. You would only be able to get the superficial stuff done like washing, hoovering, dusting etc... in half a day. You would need longer to do any deeper cleaning

hokeycakey Fri 10-May-13 12:55:08

So op YANBU!

hokeycakey Fri 10-May-13 12:54:23

But handcream you can't do anything with NOONE around if you have preschoolers which op does I have a 5, 3 & 1 year old and there is never a time when I don't have a kid to look after also it's VERY hard to engage an under 2 in cleaning as so many others have suggested whilst I am going something else 15 month old dd has put all the clean washing down the toilet or opened dd's drawers and pulled all the clothes out or emptied pasta all over the floor etc

Life with preschoolers is very different IMO and you can clean better when they're older

CaurnieBred Fri 10-May-13 12:49:37

And that is when I got a cleaner (as we were lucky enough to be able to afford it). I found as DD got older she needed more input from me rather than less and wasn't happy to be sat in a corner whilst I tried to get on with housework - and I wasn't working part time because I wanted to spend my non-work time cleaning: I wanted to spend that time with DD. When DH was given the choice of cleaner or do more himself he chose cleaner (thankfully!).

Childless people really have no idea of the work involved with small children.

However, having a cleaner has kept me/us tidier so that the house is in a state to be cleaned.

StrangeGlue Fri 10-May-13 12:45:18

Ha ha ha ha ha! Well done for not accidentally on purpose knocking your tea over.

handcream Fri 10-May-13 12:42:19

I must admit I do a bit every day and dont allow it to build up. I am not a hoarder either.

LaGuardia Fri 10-May-13 12:32:38

Well, we work, have two kids but don't live in a shithole. You tidy as you go along. Don't let things build up all week. Instead of sitting in front of the tv every night, I do stuff. When the kids are in bed, get cracking. Or stop moaning.

BeCool Fri 10-May-13 12:15:25

I don't know about 16mo sitting in high chair all morning, but I live in a one bed flat and if I tidy as I go during the week (which I endeavour to do and I'm mostly successful with) I could get all housework done in 4 hours (and I'm no expert at housework). But not deep cleaning - ie I would clean bath, basin, tiles, toilet and floor & polish mirrors, but not pull everything out of bathroom and do every surface.

I work 5 days though - so my whizz around doing housework will happen tonight when DD's are in bed, so everything is as sorted as possible for the weekend. Of course I need to change bedding the morning or before bedtime.

But that is a FLAT like your friend - a house would be bigger and different.

5Foot5 Fri 10-May-13 12:12:20

A cleaner isn't possible at the moment.


I went back to work 4 days a week when DD was 9 months old and I got a cleaner then specifically because I didn't want to spend my precious Friday off doing housework but spending time with DD instead.

And YANBU to laugh. Your friend knows nothing... grin

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