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To have said something to this awful mother?

(35 Posts)
Nicola19 Thu 09-May-13 21:52:41

I was in the shop tonight round six, a guy was behind me and i noticed a little girl around five walking slowly down an aisle. Suddenly i was startled to death by the loudest 'No!!!!!' and i looked round to see her mum. I expected to see an angry face after that outburst but she looked quite neutral. The girl put back whatever she'd been holding. The guy behind looked at me with wide eyes. The little girl then sidled up to her mum in the queue and her mum shouted, 'i said no, stop asking for things!' and as the girl stepped away from her mum kicked out making contact with her heel, making her knee give way slightly.

I made eye contact with the lady in a fearful kind of way. All throughout it the girl never made a peep. Should i have said something? I used to be braver when i was younger but now dont seek confrontations. Just feel so badly for the poor child! WWYHD?

DoctorAnge Thu 09-May-13 21:56:17


bramblina Thu 09-May-13 21:57:29

There would probably have been no point in saying anything :-(

HollyBerryBush Thu 09-May-13 21:59:23

I cant discern who kicked who

bigfuckoffpie Thu 09-May-13 22:01:59

IIt was a snapshot at a till and I get the impression that the wee girl may have been really taxing her mum's patience, and you saw her at the end of the shop. I mean, after saying "no", isn't it better that the mum was neutral, rather than being uncontrollably angry?

All the making eye contact with wide eyes in a fearful way sounds a bit odd, like you live in a colony of owls.

bigfuckoffpie Thu 09-May-13 22:03:46

Ok, re reading, not at a till, but possibly at the end of a patience-taxing supermarket shop. I think it's maybe not as bad as it seems, on the basis of what you've posted.

CrapBag Thu 09-May-13 22:04:29

I imagine it is more the mother kicking the 5 year olds heal that made the OP post.

If she does that in public......

I wouldn't have said anything tbh but probably just frowned. You don't know how people are going to react these days.

Nicola19 Thu 09-May-13 23:11:05

Thanks for responses, yeah probably best not to say anything! The shop was a local co op, there was no trying of mum's patience going on, or didnt seem to be, like at the end of a long supermarket shop. It was the mum kicking out at the girl, obviously. Makes me feel so sad that it seemed so normal from the mum's perspective, she wasnt shouting because she was beside herself. It was so loud. Thanks for responses

CloudsAndTrees Fri 10-May-13 07:25:03

Do you think the mum actually intended to make contact with the child's heel?

Floggingmolly Fri 10-May-13 09:51:45

There's always at least one poster coming on with the "it's a snapshot of their day! They probably live on a fluffy cloud with the fucking Care Bears for the other 23.5 hours a day!"
What does it matter that it's not happening constantly??? It's still shit.

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 09:54:07

do you think she meant to kick her ? awful if she did , but tbh if the girl was touching something the NO was probably appropriate whatelse was she meant to do?

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 09:54:46

I wouldnt have said anything either what can you say ?

DeWe Fri 10-May-13 09:57:00

She may have a daughter like my dd2. She constantly asks for stuff in shops. When you say "no" she'll often come back with a different way of asking. Often the stuff she doesn't need or even really want, it almost like a reflex.
She has pocket money to buy things she wants, that doesn't stop the continuous asking.

By the time I've been in 5 different shops and she's asked for 20+ items in each my patience is wearing very thin. That 5th shop could well be the local supermarket-on the way back.

I will have conversations with her outside a shop that go along the lines of:
"In that shop, I am buying X, and only X. Please do not ask me for anything else because I do not have the money for it. Do you understand?"
Enter shop. Dd2 rushes straight over to the plastic tat...
"Mummy, please can I have this. I'll pay you back when I get my pocketmoney."
"I said I haven't got the money for anything.
"Mummy, please. Emily has one and I need it to play with her. Pleaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeee".
"but mummy...." gives up puts it back, goes to pick up another item
"Mummy, please can I have this, I need it because...."

Repeat until out of the shop.

So you can see how I do get to the point of saying no before she's even opened her mouth at times. I have never been wrong that she's going to ask for what is in her hand either.

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 09:59:29

So you can see how I do get to the point of saying no before she's even opened her mouth at times. I have never been wrong that she's going to ask for what is in her hand either.

^ ^ this really it is exhausting having to constantly explain why they can't have and some kids just like to touch and pick up stuff so a quick NO is the only way, saying that kicking a 5 year old intentionally is horrible

Geckoandthemonkey Fri 10-May-13 09:59:39

The problem with some parents is they just can't say 'no'. Shouting or not, it's called disipline. You can't say who kicked who. So what is the point of starting this thread? YABU.

Geckoandthemonkey Fri 10-May-13 10:01:31

Yawn... this is why I avoid shopping with dc's... judgey pants like you...

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 10-May-13 10:01:47

I occasionally shout "NO, FGS, NO, go home NOW" to dd1 after her following me round the shop, having already been told I am going to pick up one or two items for dinner and she will not be getting anything, saying "Can I have some strawberries? Mam, can I have strawberries, Mam?" "No" "Some blueberries, then?" "No" "Well can I have a bag of crisps" "No, I have no spare money, you are getting dinner soon" "Can I get a drink then? Mam? Mam? Mam, I want a drink" "no, we have juice and water at home" "Oh, but I wanted Fanta, please can I have Fanta? Please?" "NO, I have no money" "Oooh, look Chapsticks, mam I need a Chapstick, my lips are sore" "No" "Well can I have something? A lolly? Some icecream? Some meringues? Can we get stuff to bake cakes? What about popcorn, can I have popcorn?" at this point all I hear is "CanIHave?CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave?" and lose my temper.

I've never kicked her, though, but I do probably scare the shit out of everyone in the shop when I scream "NO"

Some children need no shouting at them before they get the idea. Maybe she didn't mean to kick out at her, it doesn't sound like she did it with force, she may have just been shuffling her feet in agitation.

MrsMelons Fri 10-May-13 10:03:37

I shouted at my DS2 the other day in a shop as every shop we'd been in he had been asking for stuff, he had plenty already so it wasn't like I had just been saying no for the sake of it.

At the supermarket check out he picked yet another bar of chocolate and I must say it made me flip. It was the first time in that particular shop but I was at the end of my tether. I snatched it off him (probably a bit too dramatically) slammed it back on the shelf and shouted at him a bit.

I wasn't particularly proud of that as I could have just taken it off him but I am not a violent or nasty parent but it could have looked quite unreasonable to someone else.

Kicking your child is never ok though!

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 10:04:13

aww dooin poor you but your post made me want to stroke your hair with a 'there there' but it was grin

Geckoandthemonkey Fri 10-May-13 10:05:28

To add, British children are so disrespectful imo, they don't get proper, consistent disipline at home.

If a child just won't listen/continues to misbehave? What exactly supposed to do? Fgs!

MrsMelons Fri 10-May-13 10:06:53

D0oin - I think many of us have been there! Just hearing mummy mummy mummy mummy MUMMY MUUUUUUM some days is enough to send anyone over the edge. grin

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 10:08:08

I have even said what is it to the mum mum mummy and it wasn't even my child blush

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 10-May-13 10:10:31

It's every time we to go the shop. I detest the fact that she is now old enough to go to the shop alone and often follows me there without even asking.

Like a PP said it's almost as if it is instinctual with her, she has to ask for something. When she was two she begged me to buy her a raw chicken fillet in the butchers because there was nothing else she knew the name of hmm

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 10:11:40

TBH one of mine were like that I just ignored her in the end didnt even speak to her in the shop,

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 10:11:48

was like*

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