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To have wanted to say 'grow up' to this woman

(109 Posts)
Kasterborous Thu 09-May-13 20:41:03

Me and DD went to this group today, went to sit in this chair in a circle of chairs only to realise this other woman had been sitting there first. Fair enough. There were plenty of other chairs so I said to her sorry I didn't realise and I'll move and not sarcastically I didn't have a problem with it. She said huffily I'll get another chair and disappeared. I moved to the next chair along and her friend she was with put a book on this chair. Her friend reappeared and said very loudly 'oh good you have stopped anyone sitting there' while looking pointedly at me. It just pissed me off, I didn't say anything wasn't worth it. I know I'm moaning but sometimes the adults are worse than the kids.

TerrysNo2 Thu 09-May-13 22:17:33

Oh I love Dingle Dangle Scarecrow, I know all the different verses too. [where is my smug emoticon] wink

Kasterborous Thu 09-May-13 22:18:26

grin grin at you all. Will have to be careful not to sing these versions next week! grin

HandMini Thu 09-May-13 22:19:42

We're all coming with you next week to take her down.

BonzoDooDah Thu 09-May-13 22:25:31

"Come on everyone! All point at the twat!" <splutters>

This really is the first thread I've cried laughing over.

BonzoDooDah Thu 09-May-13 22:29:23

Incy Wincy Spider climbing up the chair
When she reached the top no-one was sitting there.
Down came the book and squashed the spider flat.
Coz just like her friend the owner was a twat.

MatureUniStudent Thu 09-May-13 22:34:29

Brilliant. I love the alternative nursery rhymes. Takes me right back to a time I never want to visit again.

Kasterborous Thu 09-May-13 22:35:57

I'm a stupid stupid woman,
With a flippy floppy twat,
I can shake it like this, I can shake it like that.

My chair. You sit there.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 10-May-13 01:21:13

oh dear! laughing so much that DS has possibly just had milk shake!

row row your boat anyone?

Look, look there's a twat,
Sitting on that chair,
I accidentally took it off of her,
She gave a nasty stare!

mum11970 Fri 10-May-13 01:31:00

Just have to learn to get a thick skin, happens all the time a school concerts. One person goes early and hogs a whole of front row for laterer family. Most I do is save a seat for dh and dump youngest in it and then stick him on my knee when dh arrives. Luckily we live in a small village, so usually know who's saving for who, and just move ourselves around to accommodate other adults and kids go where ever.

cory Fri 10-May-13 06:30:05

I ran a little baby group,
Nothing would it bear,
But a crop of tut-tuts
And a collared chair.

Littlefish Fri 10-May-13 06:42:57

Absolutely brilliant Handmini

Wind the woman up
Wind the woman up
Twat twat
Nob nob nob


MummaBubba123 Fri 10-May-13 06:57:41

I arrived first at my son's school line today. Rarity! He us in Reception.
He stood at the front of the line. A 5 year old marched up to us, looking quite disgruntled, having been playing in the distance. "That's Lee's bag! You're not first!".
I picked the bag up and moved it away, gently. "Thjs is a bag. It is not a person and it isn't Lee. Jack is first because Jack is the first person in the line today.".
Can't bear this crap!
I've been to a kiddy party before where I had a 4 yr old, a 1 year old (in arms) and a huge baby bag. There was one spare chair... with a handbag on it.
"Is anyone sitting here?".
"I'm waiting for my friend to come."
"You're waiting for your friend to come?"
No reaction.
I walked on.
Wish I'd given her her bag back (with my third hand) and sat the hell down!

sunnywindysunday Fri 10-May-13 06:59:18

I am genuinely laughing so hard at all the nursery rhymes here. You people are genius

MiaowTheCat Fri 10-May-13 09:15:11

Aaah one reason I stopped going to fucking rhyme time (the other being our library being closed for 7 months of refurbishment)... I realised how pathetic the chair politics was when people were dibsing chairs for their 12 month olds (nice rug and cushions right in front of where they were sat) and leaving some very elderly granddads (or very virile older fathers in case the granddad statement causes offence) and heavily pregnant women to stand - often while holding kids on their hips (because the circle of dibsed chairs blocked access to the carpet for the kids to sit down on).

Other reason I stopped going was one very very violent 3 year old being allowed to jump off chairs to land on younger children while his insipid father flirted with all the mummies. It was getting to the point where there was GOING to be a child (either the jumper or the child-shaped landing pad) injured and it sure as fuck wasn't going to be mine.

Kasterborous Fri 10-May-13 12:52:29

Glad I started this thread. These rhymes are brilliant and made me grin from ear to ear.

RenterNomad Fri 10-May-13 13:21:15

Mrs Muffet Deathstare
Sat on HER chair
Wriggling her bum with some strain.

She went for a tea,
And o gracious Me!
Someone's discovered her stain!

megandraper Fri 10-May-13 13:23:32

Loving the passive-aggressive nursery rhymes. This needs to go in classics.

megandraper Fri 10-May-13 13:27:30

Blah Blah Fat Creep
Have you any Chair?
Yes Sir! Yes Sir!
Me! Me! I was first to sit there!

One (chair) for the Creep, one for the friend
One for the newbie mum who's had e-fucking-nough.

KatieScarlett2833 Fri 10-May-13 13:29:37

I saw a grouch
Where ?
There on that chair
Where on that chair?
Right there!
A big old grouch with a cob on
Well I declare
Going nuts over a library chair
Oh yeah!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 10-May-13 13:32:42

another nomination for Classics! brilliant grin

I bet you never imagined this OP, from tiny rants great threads grow grin

PMTIsMe Fri 10-May-13 13:50:09

To the tune of 5 fat sausages:

1 empty chair
Sitting in the room
1 empty chair
sitting in the room
And if 1 tired mum
Should accidentally sit
There’ll be 2 arsey mums
Getting on her tit

Feeling suitably juvenile now grin

Kasterborous Fri 10-May-13 14:06:26

No BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM I didn't imagine this thread would go this way. Glad it did I've not laughed so much for ages grin. It would have gone differently if it had been a toddler group in the village hall and much more boring. Won't be able to take rhyme time seriously again at all. Will probably be sitting peeing myself laughing if they sing any of the original rhymes that have been altered on here. And getting confused hmm looks wink.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 10-May-13 14:28:41

if you get any other mums joining in then you'll know there's a MNer in the room!

PMT - brilliant grin

KatieScarlett2833 Fri 10-May-13 14:42:50

The Mumsnet Alternative Nursery Rhyme book.
G'wan Justine, you know you want to....

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