To smile at people when I'm out walking?(58 Posts)
I've recently had a baby so after years of driving everywhere, I've started using my legs again and going for walks with said sprog. I think it's polite to briefly smile at, or otherwise acknowledge the existence of, another person if I pass them on a path when no-one else is around.
DH thinks this is intrusive, unnecessary, and a bit creepy.
Who is right?
We aren't in London, and I don't look like I'm about to assault anyone, if that makes any difference.
I smile at people all the time - it's called being friendly.. and I live in London.
Right then I'm off on a brisk morning stroll to smile and nod and everyone with impunity. Thanks everyone!
Well, there's definitely etiquette that if you're out hiking up mountains, you should say hello to people. That can be extended to short walks in the countryside, though lots of people don't and, walks in the park. Our park is quite busy, so, the only people I say hello to are the ones I pass at a similar time most days.
In the situation you describe, I think smiling is nice but saying hello demands a response, so is a bit intrusive, unless the person is already making eye contact. I don't want to have to respond to people if I'm deep in thought for example.
It's no surprise that your DHs view is different, as men do not smile as much as women and crucially, do not feel the same expectation to smile in order to look cheerful, acknowledge others, or please or placate people. They find it normal to stride about thinking about what they are doing and acknowledging others only when they have to or need something from them. There is a massive amount of social conditioning behind this.
Where I live in London there are plenty of smiles/nods - not unfriendly at all. But, thankfully, none of the endless weather-observations that are apparently compulsory in the village my parents live in (in Scotland). What's that all about - why the relentless weather-chat? Especially as most days it's either raining or going to rain.
I actually think it's easier to smile and say hello than do the averting gaze thing. People always say to me it always smiling, even on days I feel wretched lol so my face must just be built that way. I try to tone it down on the school run though where it is frequently met with a stony glare. Lol
Ive been walking a lot this year as in training and dog walkers, other walkers, runners etc all say hello and smile, I quite like it especially as its often fairly deserted, for some reason it puts me at ease that I've been acknowledged IYKWIM
HollyBerry so true!
I'm in London and in the circumstances the OP describes, a smile or nod would definitely be normal. When I had my dog, people would often stop to talk about him (a teenage boy even told me he was cool) and now I have a buggy with a 6mo DS in it the same applies, even on the tube or in busy places people will want to look and chat or just give a smile. I think it's because there's a focus point people don't feel awkward - also of course they can't help themselves in the face of such cuteness.
Very normal here in the north east. DS also likes to stop everyone with a dog and help throw the ball for it. Amazing how many people are happy to stand and chat while he runs off with their dogs!
Always do it here, smile, nod head, say "morning". There's a few regulars, have never exchanged names, but DD and I always stop for a quick chat when we see them.
Your thread has reminded me of something DD did about a year ago when she was 2. There was a teenage girl walking along, looking at the pavement, so we couldn't make eye contact or smile. DD darted in front of her, grinned up at her and shouted "Ello!!" Thankfully the girl thought it was funny too.
Keep smiling - it's infectious - you smile they smile and they pass it on to someone else. A smile and a nice hello can lift someones day.
I always chat to little old ladies when I'm in the supermarket queue as I sometimes think I could be the only person they've spoke to all day - very sad.
The weirdest thing is that anyone would find it odd to be smiled at by someone.......surely it's just a nice thing to do?
YANBU! We live in a small village where the average age must be 70 Going anywhere at speed is nigh on impossible due to the gauntlet of cheery, smiling folk you would need to negotiate.
It's very nice but just occasionally I do wish that I could take the dog out in peace and quiet (having a new puppy has upped the level of social interaction several notches )
From the north but I worked in Marlow for a bit and on my walks to work would say hello to passersby which really freaked them out.
So I used to do it loads to amuse myself.
Oooop north it's expected you nod, smile may be comment on the weather.
I always try and smile at people. For everyone who thinks you're a loon, there will be someone who's day it makes. I smiled at an old man the other week who had people barging past like he wasn't there, and got a great big beam and a "hello dear!" for my troubles.
I live in London (born & raised here too) & quite often smile politely at people while I'm out walking - if I'm in the middle of London Bridge in the rush hour I'm about getting across untrampled, if I'm walking up to the Heath & see someone coming from t'other way I'll smile politely. As I have to ask people to let me sit down on public transport I always say thank you to whoever's let me have their seat. I also say thank you if people hold doors etc. Was taught all of that is polite.
Mind you, I am more Irish than anything else. Which might be why I'm so happy to chat with strangers. Even on the Tube. Shocking, I know...
Round here, perfectly normal to say 'hello' or smile when going for a walk, although I have noticed that sometimes younger people don't do this, but certainly all locals over 35 probably would! I like it, very rude to march on past hoping not to see them. But, I do change my behaviour when visiting London (after living there for years) as obviously if I did this on the Tube I would probably be considered very strange indeed. I do smile at little children though, wherever I am, I can't help it.
Totally normal here, in our village. Dog walks can last twice as long from all the stopping and chatting!
In London it's a little different (I'm from London originally). On the tube or while commuting to/from work, the most I might do or receive is a brief nod or smile or 'ta' if you hold a door open or give way on a platform or something, but seldom a chat, unless there's a shared experience like a missed bus or train or something. There's just not enough hours in the day to be civil to every stranger you pass!
The worst was when we visited Italy, however. Small riviera town (Bordighera), during the day, nobody in much of a rush. Not a single smile, nod, hello (in Italian!), nothing. Even in shops and cafes, just the bare minimum to serve and take my money. Was almost enough to spoil the holiday as everyone was so unfriendly!
I have to disagree with Ryanboy and Rambososcar. I've lived in a City all my life, and always greet people with a smile / nod / comment / chat.
Squoosh, the complicated nuances of human interaction, more subtle than the
" I'll go this side you go that side, oh your going that side well I'll go the other side, fuck now your going that way too and we both look silly, right ill wait to see what your doing, oh no your waiting to see what I'm doing, right I'll go this side...."
But not as subtle as the
" I really want that last sandwich, I think he might be eyeing it up too though, how many did he have? Oh he's looking the other way maybe he doesn't want that sandwich, is she eyeing up that sandwich.."
In my way of life a smile
is considered charity. Smile away
Ive lived in a city, and there I wouldnt. Didnt.
Now I live in the sticks and most people smile a d acknowledge each other.
Totally normal here (Glasgow).
In fact I often end up stopping and talking to total strangers!
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