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or is DH

(36 Posts)
Wishihadabs Thu 09-May-13 18:29:28

Maybe should have posted in relationships anyway here goes. I regularly WOTH on Thursdays. DH works from home and does school runs. A group of his mate's go out every month ona Thurday night . Only thing is they meet at 530 pm so I am rarely back from work. I try to enable DH to attend these sessions as often as possible. This week I organised a babysitter (just because I had her number on my phone) which he was happy to pay for so he could go. She is 18 and doing her A-levels. Unfortunately she forgot tonight. DH is now suggesting leaving the dcs (who need feeding) with either the builder ( who hasent yet left) or the 12 year old across the street ! it's a real pity the original babysitter forgot , but these things happen, she is probably a bit sttressed out about her exams. AIBU to think hello should suck it up instead of implementing these crackpot schemes for our dcs on a school night. Or am I overreacting ? It is v. frustrating as I have finished work but was at meeting this pm so on my way home, but won't be there til at leas t730 ( which IMO is a far more sensible time to go out anyway) and I am wondering what on earth I am going to come home to.

Wishihadabs Fri 10-May-13 07:25:57

I can completely relate to the bafflement around the 530 meet up. Apparently they start to peel off from 8pm. Personally I think it's an avoidance of the whitching hour at home. Then they go back to the dinner their good little wives have cooked (not career bitches like me). Personally I don't know what he sees in them and their wives are with out exception boooring. However as I say it's only once a month, so I live with it. Except if he decides to leave our children with other children or random strangers.

StuntGirl Fri 10-May-13 00:19:26

Absolutely not sure why he has to go at 5.30 when the logistics do not allow that. Seriously, he needs to suck it up, wait for you to come home later and go out then. It won't kill him.

Triumphoveradversity Thu 09-May-13 23:39:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

niceguy2 Thu 09-May-13 23:23:35

Your DH is an idiot. As others have said, it's not the end of the world to meet up with his mates a bit later.

Tell him he needs to man the fuck up.

doubleshotespresso Thu 09-May-13 23:01:43

Really baffled as to why DH could not just wait for your return and meet his friends later...

His suggestions are ridiculous, calling you to make the decision for him is beyond the pale, I would have a few serious questions for him following an episode like this in your shoes OP.

AnyFucker Thu 09-May-13 21:59:24

he must have really needed that extra couple of pints hmm

Wishihadabs Thu 09-May-13 21:57:19

Dc are 9 &6

Wishihadabs Thu 09-May-13 21:44:26

No this is not normal for him.FWIW if he wants to pay a babysitter (trusted and known to the dcs) so he can go out when I'm not there, I have no problem with it. As I said it's only once a month the dcs like our regular babysitter. So I think it's fine.

However I totally not ok with him leaving them with uncle Tom Codly and all so he can go out with his mates.

In the end he went and collected our babysitter so they were with a familiar person. I think I made my feelings very clear.

livingdownunder Thu 09-May-13 21:41:42

how old are the dcs? I'm very confused as to his suggestions to leave with the builder or a 12yr old. Does he normally come up with these odd ideas?

PurpleSwift Thu 09-May-13 21:11:24

Can't he just go at 7.30 instead?

LemonPeculiarJones Thu 09-May-13 20:25:01

YANBU. He is. Whats wrong with him? Potentially endangering his kids for a night out?

And why is he so desperate about being there so early?

WilsonFrickett Thu 09-May-13 20:18:03

We've got (very lovely) builders in at the minute, I would love to see their faces if I suggested a spot of babysitting.

This is a bonkers situation OP. His family circumstances don't allow him to meet people at 530. I go out a lot, but only after DP gets home, and I would never ask him to come home 'early' unless it was work related or a special thing like a concert, for example, where there's a definite 'start'.

rambososcar Thu 09-May-13 20:15:42

Any man who suggested leaving my children in the care of either a builder or a 12 year old would be being made to consider whether or not he wanted to remain in the family home. Any man who left my children with the builder or a 12 year old would no longer have a family home to worry about.

Laquitar Thu 09-May-13 20:06:51

Even if you trust the builder why should he (the builder) be happy to look after the children when their father is not??

This is not an emergency or a work issue. It is about going for a drink. He goes later fgs.

StuntGirl Thu 09-May-13 19:44:56

xpost AF grin

StuntGirl Thu 09-May-13 19:44:35

Is he normally so stupid?

AnyFucker Thu 09-May-13 19:44:28

Is your h usually such a fucking Nob ?

sooperdooper Thu 09-May-13 19:26:33

Why can't he meet them at 7.30? Surely better to arrive late than not at all

MammaTJ Thu 09-May-13 19:20:58

Why doesn't he just go and grab some random stranger off the street to babysit? After all, he is happy to leave them with a random builder. I'm sure if he asks their name before leaving them, it will be fine. grin

I can't believe he suggested the builder.

BackforGood Thu 09-May-13 19:19:16

Is there a reason he can't just join up with his mates later in the evening ?

Shutupanddrive Thu 09-May-13 19:11:56

Of course he is BU, and selfish and possibly stupid (sorry)
He needs to grow up

CloudsAndTrees Thu 09-May-13 19:09:23

Do you know the builder other than professionally?

I had workmen in recently, one of them overheard me telling my 12 yo that he had to come out with me to pick up other dc when he usually waits at home for the 20 minutes it takes. They later thanked me for doing this because they find it awkward when they have to tell people that they can't be in the house alone with children so could they please not leave their children at home.

Your DH IBU.

verytellytubby Thu 09-May-13 19:07:50

I actually laughed out loud at leaving with the builder. Jesus.

Wishihadabs Thu 09-May-13 19:06:27

I wish I knew Horry

Wishihadabs Thu 09-May-13 18:57:21

He most definitely will be organising the babysitter in the future. I have made sure they have each other's numbers. No we don't know the builder all that well !

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