to think that writing down appointments correctly is a fairly essential skill for a midwife?!

[Jojobump1986]

I'm 36 weeks pg & tired & hormonal so there's every possibility I'm not being entirely rational...!

At my last clinic appointment the midwife booked me in for a home visit at 34 weeks & my next clinic appt at 36 weeks. She wrote both appts on the back of my notes & I put them into my phone's calendar at the same time. The home visit was fine but then I went to the clinic today with tired toddler in tow only to hang around for half an hour assuming they were running late before checking how much longer it was likely to be. A mw came out to explain that they had no record of my appointment for today so I've had to rearrange to go back tomorrow instead.

Now, I know everyone makes mistakes but...

My last appointment after having DS1 I saw this same midwife & she informed me that I was late, despite the fact that I'd written it down & turned up at the time I was told. Odd, I thought... Wires must've been crossed. Just 'one of those things' so I shrugged it off.

My booking appointment this time was made after she rang me to book it. I very carefully wrote it down while still on the phone & checked it at the end of the call, just to be sure. We turned up half an hour 'late' according to what she'd written down, but on time according to what I'd written & confirmed with her, & had to rush through the appointment.

The only reason I remember that all these appointments involved her is because she was the mw in charge of DS1's homebirth & the one who practically shouted "this baby may not come out alive" about 5 minutes before he was born. Oddly enough, I have a bit of a 'thing' about her now! I tried to let it all go & had no intention of making a fuss. I'm aware that she'd been at work all day before we called her to the homebirth at 11pm. I also know she was having back problems. I genuinely thought I was over the way she acted that night & I'd moved on. That was until I saw her at the last clinic appointment & nearly had a panic attack. I decided at that point that I was happy to leave the past in the past but that I couldn't risk having her at another homebirth so I've since requested that she not be involved in my care. I made it v clear that I didn't want to make a complaint after I spoke to her supervisor who said that people usually think she's great.

So, given the way she spoke to me while I was in labour & the fact that she's now been involved in 3 appointments of mine that haven't been written down correctly, AIBU to wonder if I should be officially questioning her competency?!

I've never made an official complaint about anyone/thing before. I tend to run away from any uncomfortable situation or potential conflict but this is ridiculous, isn't it?! Surely she should be able to write down the times she tells people! If I didn't have it so clearly written out on the back of my notes in her handwriting I'd think I was going mad!

Should I log this officially with her supervisor or am I just being hormonal & overreacting?!

[AgathaF]

I think these are two different issues. Her comment during the birth, and the incorrectly written appointment times.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to not see her for your care before, during and after the birth if she causes you distress, which she clearly does given that you had a panic attack when you saw her recently. You will need to speak to either her manager or supervisor to put this into place.

WRT the appointment times. One mistake is forgiveable, maybe two even, but three isn't really. I would raise this with her manager/supervisor.