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PIL have stopped picking my older DC up once a week after 11 years.

(33 Posts)
notso Thu 09-May-13 12:41:22

I don't mind if they don't want to anymore, it's their choice obviously. I just wish they had spoken to me, DH or the even the DC about it.
Late last year they made a big thing about making a playroom and filling it with toys, a games console, TV etc.
They even started taking DC3 with the older two to give me a break when DC4 was tiny but they stopped taking him after a couple of months. Then they kept cancelling picking the older two up and now they have stopped taking them altogether.
I've tried bringing it up indirectly but they just say they've been busy and will take them next week, then they cancel again.
Then they come round and say how they haven't seen the DC for ages, and they miss them. DC keep asking when they are going next.
I have a terrible feeling my DC are being ditched for their new GC as there have been hints that they will be looking after her when SIL goes back to work, although SIL has denied this.

AIBU to have it out with them? DH just says it's up to them and I should leave it.

notso Thu 09-May-13 16:48:09

They are early 50's.

I have tried to bring it up three times but each time they've just brush it off and offer to pick them up as usual.

I'm thinking of telling them the DC don't want to come on school nights anymore to let PIL off the hook.

crashdoll Thu 09-May-13 17:10:47

YANBU to ask them not to tell the children they'll be coming and then repeatedly cancel last night. Don't make a big deal out of it and if you're close, ask them if everything is ok.

Floggingmolly Thu 09-May-13 18:01:55

You say in your latest post that you see your PIL's all the time.
So do your children, presumably? If your eldest is now 11, maybe they're past the stage of being "taken out" for the afternoon by their grandparents. Especially every week.
Why is it so important that the children see their GP's independently of you? Are you sure free childcare isn't one of your considerations? hmm

Tailtwister Thu 09-May-13 18:06:02

If it has been a regular thing for 11 years, I think they should speak to your older DC about it. I'm not surprised you feel a bit upset, especially if you're children are confused about why they've suddenly changed. If they are finding it all too much they should just say.

Tailtwister Thu 09-May-13 18:06:35

your not you're

Patosshades Thu 09-May-13 18:10:07

Did anything happen the last couple of times the PIL have had the children? It just seems odd they would make plans and cancel repeatedly. Are any of the children reaching that teenage stroppy phase that may put the PIL off having them?

notso Thu 09-May-13 20:50:56

Flogging this is really nothing to do with childcare. They are only taking the older two, the youngest two are at home with me so I'm hardly getting time to myself from this.hmm
As for seeing them too much, overlooking the fact fellatio thought I wasn't seeing them enough! I pop in once a week as I go to a soft play coffee morning and go past their house so it seems rude to walk past, they aren't always in. They very often pop in to my house for a brew on there way in to town. We see them on weekends but not every weekend. BIL and SIL and their spouses visit them everyday of the week so I don't think they care about being visited too much.
I've mentioned to my eldest about whether they are getting too old to go to Nan's and they said they love going.

Beamur Thu 09-May-13 20:57:03

I do think this is a bit odd - the kids like going, the PIL agree and then cancel at the last minute, despite having been happy to spend time with their GC once a week for so many years. I don't get that they would suddenly want more time to themselves.
I would be inclined to ask them if there is a problem as the kids are getting a bit confused by the cancelling, it doesn't sound like you see them an excessive amount and presumably there has been no falling out that you are aware of.

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