I seem to have lost my perspective on this.
My parents have, for a very long time - at least 20 years - had a glass of wine while cooking / pre-dinner, drunk the rest of the bottle with dinner, then gone on to have 3 or 4 drinks (whisky or rum) in the evening, pretty much every night. They are never drunk, as in slurring or staggering, though I have had a couple of phone calls from my mum where I can tell she's a bit pissed because her voice sounds different and she's snippier than usual. They never go out drinking - except, of course, wine with food if eating out.
DH is from a family where they would be more likely to have a cup of tea with 'tea' in the evening rather than wine - and they would never drink spirits in the evening. They crack out the wine when we go to visit, and my FIL probably has an occasional beer at the weekend or at the pub with his football mates. Dh has always made it clear that he thinks my parents drink too much, though he often has a few whiskies in the evening when they are staying with us.
My DSis is concerned about how much they drink. She lives closer, so sees them more often, and tends to take the Guardian health columns as gospel, and is a self confessed control freak and she's concerned because they are drinking way over the 'safe limits'. She has voiced her concerns to them, they have reacted defensively - though my dad does take it on board and reduce his alcohol intake for a while, then it creeps back up. My mum gets very defensive though. She tends to believe that guidelines are written for everyone else - not her.
Healthwise they both seem in ok nick for their ages. My dad was recommended for a specific reason to cut back on alcohol intake by the Dr, which he did, but since that particular health issue passed, he's reverted to the norm. My mum probably does not tell anything like the truth if asked by a medic - and she has several conditions that I suspect are caused by or exacerbated by too much alcohol - insommnia, stomach ulcers, overweight.
And me? I like a small glass of wine while cooking dinner, and another one while eating, and that's pretty much it. I very very occasionally (once a month maybe) have a whisky in the evening (very small, with water) once the children are in bed.
So are my parents drinking too much? Are the safe limits guidelines the important ones - or are they grown ups who can make their own decisions? Should my sister and I butt out or intervene by talking to them? I personally would rather leave them to work it out for themselves, only going as far as to tell them that I personally sleep badly when I drink too much, that I find it really helps weight loss when I stop drinking altogether, to turn down their offers of a drink and have a cup of tea instead. My sister favours a more direct approach - and would like me to back her up.
Whaddya think?
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to be concerned about how much my parents drink.
34 replies
justwondering72 · 09/05/2013 09:10
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