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Work situation - how do I resolve?

(10 Posts)
Altinkum Thu 09-May-13 08:12:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tallwivglasses Thu 09-May-13 08:25:01

It sounds awful. The Facebook bullying is totally out of order. I don't think anything's going to change unless someone newer than you comes in to be the latest victim. Get out as quick as you can.

Tabliope Thu 09-May-13 08:29:33

I agree get out as soon as you can. Personally though I'd have to tell the manager he wasn't doing his job properly and that if he didn't start managing you'd be leaving and seeking compensation for constructive dismissal. I'd be lining up everything to that end - put all complaints in email to him for the record and his responses. You've been physically abused at work - two trays thrown at you (did they hit you?) which is a criminal offence, yet you've been blamed and told to get on with other people. He's breaking all sorts of laws. Is it a chain of coffee shops? If so go to head office. In the meantime log everything and make sure he knows by email. You're planning on leaving anyway so you don't have anything to lose.

adeucalione Thu 09-May-13 08:45:42

Your boss seems to think that you are the problem - she took your side when you shouted at someone, and is prepared to let someone leave because they don't want to work with you, but has given you a quiet heads-up that you could try harder.

Reading between the lines, the other staff think that you are not pulling your weight - comments about you 'just standing there' and irritation that you were handwashing cups instead of changing the blades in the dishwasher.

I doubt that you will change the minds of either your boss or the staff, so you are doing the right thing in looking for another job. However, your boss has a duty towards all of her employees and you should not have to put up with bullying or physical assault and tabliope has given you good advice I think.

Have you really had two trays thrown at you? Did they hit you, or did they throw them down onto a counter near you or something like that?

poopnscoop Thu 09-May-13 08:49:14

Look for a new job - you deserve better x

BerylStreep Thu 09-May-13 09:01:22

Yes, I would look for a new job, but moving forward, I don't think you should ever shout at a colleague, regardless of how they have behaved. It lowers you to their standards, and you lose the moral high ground.

I would also not go in work nights out, or accept friend requests on Facebook from colleagues.

In the interim, I would write to your boss and explain that you are being bullied by your colleagues. That you are putting up with verbal abuse on a daily basis, and having trays thrown at you. Tell your boss about the fact the bullying is extending beyond the workplace onto Facebook. Your employer has a duty of care towards you, and he or she is obliged to manage this. Start keeping a diary of instances of bullying.

Is there a discriminatory element to this?

Altinkum Thu 09-May-13 10:39:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Altinkum Thu 09-May-13 10:44:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

adeucalione Thu 09-May-13 12:23:34

I really feel for you, working in such an unfriendly environment. I think you should stop asking what you can do to change, which suggests that you are at fault, and insist that your boss gets a proper handle on this situation. If necessary, tell him that you are going to start making a note of every incident - constructive dismissal will be implied when you say this, and should make him sit up and take notice.

Make sure he understands that this issue has the potential to damage his business - if they are treating you like this, then they will have done it before and will do it again, leading to high staff turnover, avoidable training costs and poor efficiency.

It may be that he is slightly frightened of this group himself - worried that they might all leave if he upsets their status quo, and that he will be left with a serious staffing issue, but he needs to be a decent employer and grasp the problem.

The boss's wife sounds understanding, and it is a good sign that she phoned to see what had happened, perhaps that is the way to go.

Tabliope Thu 09-May-13 13:37:49

I don't think you need to change. I just think you need to get out but until you find a new job you have to stay there I'm guessing but you don't need to put up with crap like this - people throwing trays at you?! That's utterly outrageous. You haven't said if they were aimed at you and hit you, or just thrown down next to you. Regardless, one of them could have caught you even if not aimed directly at you in which case I'd say that's a sackable offence - or at least a warning (verbal or written). Your manager/the owner needs to address that. He's breaking rules if he doesn't. I'd tell the wife that. These other co-workers need bringing into line. Woman that threw the tray should have had verbal warning first time, written the second. Told if it continues she's sacked. I know these situations can be overwhelming when you're in the thick of it but it can't continue like that. All complaints - from them about your work or from you about them - need to go via the boss. He needs to make that clear to all of you. He then deals with them according to whatever the rules and regulations are. The place sounds like it's out of control. The wife of the boss needs to know that.

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