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to think that this is really inconsiderate?

(133 Posts)
SweetSeraphim Wed 08-May-13 21:48:48

Neighbour one, I'm afraid.... hmm grin

So - next door have 3 boys, aged about 7, 5 and 2 ish... They're ok neighbours, we don't chat much or anything but we're polite.

We both work full time, have 4 dc between us, 7, 8, 12 & 15, and we try and get a bit of a lie in on a weekend if we can, I get up at 6 every weekday, and if we're lucky, we get to lie in until about half 8 at the weekend, it's glorious.

However.... as soon as the weather gets warmer, next door neighbours let the dc out to play in the back garden between 7 and half past. They're really noisy and have loads of really loud toys, electric ride-along stuff, you know. I had forgotten this happened last year, and it pissed me off then - I remembered with clarity this weekend hmm

So what do I do? Do I put a note through the door like a yellow bellied coward? Or do I knock and ask them to be a bit more considerate? Will they look at me like this? hmm AIBU?

chillynose Fri 10-May-13 14:49:17

It is great for kids to play outside in there garden smile

That is too early
Kids should be supervised
Kids should be a reasonable volume
Mine r loud when in garden i ssshhh at them if i feel they r going to interupt others
I know they r children and should have fun
When in garden should respect beighbours

differentnameforthis Fri 10-May-13 14:35:15

When you live in a country where it can get to 38 degrees by 9am, you tend to let your kids play out in the garden at around 7ish, if they are up. Once the heat hits, they can be inside all day & getting some fresh air is close to impossible.

granted, I don't let them scream & yell, but they need fresh air & it isn't like they can be outside in 40 odd degree heat at 12pm!

SweetSeraphim Fri 10-May-13 13:40:08

LOL at whoever said I'm lying in bed all day... We have 4dc between us! No chance of that. All I'm asking for is a bit of consideration for others. Sounds a bit much for some people to cope with! Not most of you, thankfully!

AaDB Fri 10-May-13 13:09:05

Damn my phone bother NOT burger.

Since having my ds I now wake at 6:30am no matter what. Now he had reset my body clock the little beggar sleeps in until 10:30am.

if they aren't going to listen about allowing the children out too early, I would take them home and knock on their dope. Especially if they bothered you at 7am.

I'm a heavy sleeper and that noise wouldn't wake me up. DH is a light sleeper and gets up before 6am every day and only manages to sleep about 5/6 hours a night. The weekend sleep in is when he catches up.

freddiefrog Fri 10-May-13 12:59:15

AaDB - she just let's them out to play and doesn't really take any notice of what they're doing. I've spoken to her several times about it, but she seems to think we are suffering from some sort of moral failure because we're not up and at it at 5am. Early bird catches the worm and all that.

I might go and knock on her door loudly and repeatedly at 10:30pm and get her out of bed

They actually live a little way round our close so if they stayed outside their own house they'd only annoy their own parents, but they ride bikes up and down the road shrieking

AaDB Fri 10-May-13 12:33:27

Freddie I'm shocked that parents would allow their los to play our and burger people so early. I would definitely say to the children 'please don't knock on the door before midday' (or ever). I would go straight over at stupid o' clock and ask their parents not to let them come over and how much it disturbs you. I wouldn't be surprised if you get them out of bed.

Selba Fri 10-May-13 12:31:12

its inconsiderate in exactly the same way as letting your kids run around screetching late at night

MagicHouse Fri 10-May-13 11:36:49

YANBU - I wouldn't let mine in the garden before about half 8/ 9. I think it's inconsiderate to allow them out to shriek and play with noisy toys at 7. Like you say, lots of people work hard during the week and need to recharge at the weekend.

Of course no-one has a "right" to a lie in - but it's just polite and considerate to realise that your neighbours would probably really appreciate one. It won't harm children to miss just an hour or two of a sunny morning if they can't/ won't keep the noise down once they're outside. (Ie like most young children I would think!!!)

miffybun73 Fri 10-May-13 11:14:20

YANBU, I'd say that anything before 9am is too early, but then I suppose if your kids are awake really early, say 6 then they might want to be outside by 7:30.

soontobeslendergirl Fri 10-May-13 11:02:27

tbf - I live in an estate with a lot of young children - I am rarely ever disturbed by them playing - apart from kicking the ball of the dividing fence from time to time - but not at 7am! and the odd time they go in to collect their ball and don't shut the gate so it bangs in the wind and I have to get up and shut it.

freddiefrog Fri 10-May-13 10:57:35

I do not let my children make a racket outside before 9am at weekends

They can play outside quietly, but no shrieking or squeaky (despite copious amounts of WD40) trampolining at the crack of dawn

My neighbour lets her kids out to shriek and scream play in the street at 7am, and they start knocking for my kids at 7:30.

Drives me nuts, there's nothing I can do about the playing out (except seethe to myself) but I am very annoyed about the door knocking. 9 times out of 10 my kids are still asleep then anyway but they keep knocking, make the dog bark (which disturbs the whole household) until I have to get up and go and tell them to come back much, much later

AaDB Fri 10-May-13 10:51:56

Two sets of wind chimes soon? shock angry 24 hour nuisance. At least DC are indoors done of the time.

soontobeslendergirl Fri 10-May-13 10:45:45

AaDB - the fecking wind chimes!!!!

I am sure they are lovely if you are in a nice tropical or mediteranian environment. The sun, the gentle sea breeze, sipping cocktails on the patio, the melodious tinkle of the chimes.......

I live in Scotland FFS - 40 - 70 mph winds, rain and general misery for 99% of the year so why has my @rsehole of a neighbour got not just one, but two sets of fecking wind chimes - one metal and the other bamboo - I generally want to take them and stangle her with them grin

AaDB Fri 10-May-13 10:04:47

Some people have a concept that early starters are virtuous. Consideration at both ends of the day makes life more pleasant for everyone. I don't mix with my neighbours. I have no idea if my neighbors work odd shifts or what they personal circumstances are. There are enough hours between 9am and 7pm for need to enjoy my garden.

Don't get me started on wind chimes though angry

soontobeslendergirl Fri 10-May-13 10:03:13

Tingalingle - the thing about those events is that they happen for a few seconds and then they are gone. Loud screeching and shouting by kids out at play goes on all the time they are out.

My view is that people have a right to enjoy their home and garden and reasonable noise has to be accepted on both sides but kids out playing noisily at 7ish on a weekend morning is not reasonable. Weekdays before school is fair enough.

I would equally expect that occasionally people may have an event in their garden of an evening that is a bit noisy and others may be trying to get young children to sleep and that would be okay - doing it a lot and especially during the week would not be reasonable either.

We once got a complaint from a neighbour down the street as the boys were cycling about making a normal amount of noise and it was disturbing his sleep. It was however half 2 in the afternoon of a sunny day in the school holidays - he was on night shift. I told him to sling his hook but did tell the boys to not cycle down that way out of curtesy. He was being unreasonable to expect peace and quiet at that time I think. Why a childless older couple would buy a house in a family estate full of young kids when they work night shift I have no idea. He was a bit of a creep.

Quangle Fri 10-May-13 09:57:44

<snort> at the drama llamas saying 'Won't someone think of the cheeeeeldren, kept in for HOURS by the nasty selfish woman next door, HOW will they express themselves'. ffs in summer your DC have about 16 hours of daylight to paint the neighbourhood red. Give other people a break.

YY and hilarious.

I do limit what my children do if it would disturb other people unnecessarily. But none of us find it absolutely essential and a human right to be shrieking in the garden at 7am. They are usually mucking about doing all sorts of other stuff. No one is oppressed or suffering from rickets due to Vit D deficiency. It's a minor adjustment that makes life nicer for others. But like I said, my neighbour does this and she's a pain in the backside all ways round so go figure grin

AaDB Fri 10-May-13 09:56:58

No way would I allow my ds to play out before 9 am. Yanbu and have nothing to lose by speaking to your neighbours.

I'm really shocked that people think it's ok to make noise at 7am.

One of my neighbours allows her DC to screech all day. It gets on my baps. I would say something if it was 7am. You can't make people be considerate.

MiaowTheCat Fri 10-May-13 09:54:14

Aaah the world where kids' rights trump everyone elses'... these threads are usually followed by someone complaining about a 7pm lawnmower or similar where the "I won't keep my kids locked up indoors" (melodramatic much?) brigade are up in arms about their children's sleep being disturbed.

If we all abided by the general principle of don't be an inconsiderate twat the world would be much better - but there's always a few that spoil it. For us it's the footballing whizz kids (they're actually really shit at football unless the goal's everyone else's gardens) out back... it's not the noise of the banging of the ball from 7am that annoys - it's the shouted out commentary that really grates after a few hours of it.

I tend to view about 8am - 9pm to be the window for garden noise... outside those hours generally it's nice to quieten it down a bit.

And yes, I do think there's more than an element of jealousy and "I've got to suffer early mornings so you should too" among the parents who unleash child noise ridiculously early at weekends... plus the usual preconception that NO adult without kids can be doing ANYTHING of any value with their life meaning they're deserving of a bit of kip (see the comments about "nursing a hangover" on here) - that assumption I ALWAYS find incredibly offensive... we have people on this street who shift work, we have people who work very physically demanding jobs, we have people who just want a bit of shut-eye - all of them equally valuable to the world and deserving of having their needs accommodated too.

We have an informal agreement with our neighbour - we'll keep morning noise down to later on in the morning as his son works nights, he's toned down the noise of his garden drinks and BBQ parties and turned the music off when our eldest goes to bed so as not to disturb her (her room's at the back of the house) in return... mutual don't-be-a-twatism in action.

Tingalingle Fri 10-May-13 09:38:40

I'm astonished at the strong feelings on both sides here.

7 a.m. is early-ish, true, but it's about when we seem to get oil tankers, delivery lorries and parcel vans turning up, not to mention farm tractors bucketing past the house. One of our neighbours starts up his ancient diesel truck at 5:45 every day to go to work. That's life.

Why worry so much about it all?

AThingInYourLife Fri 10-May-13 09:29:10

"I sit in the garden with my children if its a sunny morning. We keep our voices down and there are no noisy toys or bouncing balls."

That's what I do.

I wouldn't let them used motorised toys in a built up area at any time of day.

But I will not keep them indoors on a lovely sunny morning.

We get so few of them. It seems a crime to waste them sitting indoors in case an adult has a hangover they want to nurse.

"ffs in summer your DC have about 16 hours of daylight"

OK, let's do the sums.

My older children are awake for maybe 13 hours per day.

My baby for 10ish.

I think if people have to stay indoors when neighbours are in bed, it's going to be a lot more restrictive for adults than for children.

And let's look again at "daylight".

It's not daylight that is the issue here, it is sunshine.

How many days during the year are warm and sunny enough to mean people want to be outdoors early in the morning?

Where we live, so far this year, there have been zero.

And of those glorious sunny days, how many fall at the weekend?

This is not a frequent problem. On all the weekend mornings when it is pissing rain, or cold, or dark, or inclement, the OP need not concern herself with this and can sleep all day.

On the rare, heaven-sent, sunny mornings in summer my children and I will eat breakfast on the patio and enjoy the nice early morning sunshine.

If that bothers you maybe 10 days a year, then tough shit frankly.

Samu2 Fri 10-May-13 09:03:00

Mine are not allowed out on weekends until 9.30am

I wouldn't dream of allowing them to play at 7.30am shock

SwishSwoshSwoosh Fri 10-May-13 09:02:07

I was with you until you said 'I deserve a lie-in', sorry but no one 'deserves' a lie in, and your lie in doesn't trump the children who presumably 'deserve' to enjoy their garden.

Fwiw I always kept mine in in the morning til about school time, but I didn't feel I 'deserved' everyone else to follow my rules.

I suggest moving house, there is that Scottish island on the market at the moment?

HamAlive Fri 10-May-13 08:52:48

A Thing grin I wish you'd been on the other thread, it was frothing and ridiculous.

Our DS was a terrible sleeper but even we mowed our own lawn (right under his window) while he napped. I am an awfil neighbour though, I hang my washing out in my pjs grin

MakingAnotherList Fri 10-May-13 08:49:48

I sit in the garden with my children if its a sunny morning. We keep our voices down and there are no noisy toys or bouncing balls.
Our immediate neighbours are pensioners. One side has a noisy dog and the other side opens his shed door early every morning and commences some kind of noisy activity (hammering, sawing etc).
They are extremely inconsiderate, but that doesn't mean I should be too.
I'm very aware that in years to come a family will probably move into their house and I'll be a pensioner. I hope that any family show consideration, but I certainly don't expect it.
I truly believe that people are much more selfish than they used to be. DH often tells me that we should start doing things for ourselves and forget about others. That's what everybody around us seems to do, but I can't do it.

schobe Fri 10-May-13 08:32:20

I'm surprised by this thread as I would never mow, play loud music or let noisy kids out before about 9am.

Re mowing, I guess you get some 7am nutters but I honestly think most people are considerate at the weekends and wait until mid morning. It's just common courtesy.

But reading some of these responses, I guess not everyone agrees.

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