I have a friend, call her A, all she ever does is whinge and moan about how much debt they are in, how they owe lots of money on credit cards, overdrawn etc, etc. I have now on a number of occasions sat down with her, at her request, gone through all their income and outgoings, helped them sort out how to pay back the debts etc. She and her DH never ever stick to this and are constantly fine dining, going on holiday and buying expensive things - apparently it is not worth having if it isn't designer!
Financially, myself and DH are doing well, though we earn less than friend and have childcare to pay for, we never use credit cards, have no loans (apart from mortgage) and are building up our savings. We have fun and go away etc but it'll be camping in cornwall rather than 2 weeks in St Lucia! We are not tight with money but we are careful.
Friend A has now had another crash financially and has asked us to loan them over £5000 so they 'can get on top of the worst credit cards'. they promise to pay us back within a year, they'll follow whatever financial plan I help them create etc, etc. We have said no. £5000 is ALOT of money to us and we are just expecting DC2 so need to cover my maternity etc. Friend A and DH are now livid with us, they say we can afford it and if we were true friends we would help them out.
The thing is I would help them out if I thought for one minute they would actually really try and sort things out but they have never done this in the past. I have never asked to be privy to their finances, they have always come to us, but I don't think their financial situation is our problem. I will always help them if they wanted advice, but I am no professional in this, I just know what myself and DH do. I've suggested they seek professional help from the debt repayment organisations etc but 'that's too demeaning' apparently.
Apparently this will effect our friendship long term according to them but I think that's just blackmail and makes me feel used!
In the background to all this we lent them £1000 about four years ago with a promised repayment of 3 mths, 2 years later they finally paid us back!!
AIBU to think this isn't my problem and they should respect our decision?
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AIBU?
Lost the will to support friend with money issues any longer and not loan money?!
69 replies
DaisyFlower123 · 08/05/2013 13:25
OP posts:
kotinka ·
08/05/2013 13:29
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