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Do I ask friend to replace cake pan she ruined

(61 Posts)
jayisagirlsnametoo Wed 08-May-13 05:24:21

Hi, this is my first AIBU so please be kind! smile

I leant my friend my cake pan as she wanted to make a birthday cake for a mutual friend. When it was returned, the cake had clearly been cut in the pan as there were numerous scratches from the edge to the centre. It was non stick, but obviously now ruined by scratches. I know it isn't a huge item but I don't have a great amount of money and I'd only bought it to make a cake for someone else in the past.

Would I be unreasonable to ask for her to replace it, or does that seem petty over a cake pan?

ImagineJL Thu 09-May-13 23:31:36

Good result.

I would let her keep the scratched tin when you get your new one.

Thumbwitch Thu 09-May-13 23:22:32

Good result, well done.

If your non-stick is too scratched, the teflon starts to release bits into the food - we had a non-stick baking tray that did this, and a non-stick sauté pan - both had to be ditched.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Thu 09-May-13 18:25:44

We must all be using different recipes smile. My scratched bakeware DOES stick , I can now only use it with cake cases.

Otherwise I use my 'unscratched' non stick tins

TheRealFellatio Thu 09-May-13 18:15:27

I have loads of non sitck bakeware that has scratches and knife marks on it and it's all still perfectly usable and non-stick.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Thu 09-May-13 18:13:41

That's a good result. I would have texted her to. If I had accidently damaged something that had been lent to me by a friend I would be upset if they DIDNT let me know confused

jayisagirlsnametoo Thu 09-May-13 17:28:23

I don't really want to be using greaseproof paper, that was the reason to get a non-stick pan in the first place.

Unfortunately we don't live in the UK and there isnt any TK maxx/ Poundland- type shops anywhere near us.

but all sorted now anyway smile I'm very much looking forward to baking in my new pan. I think my friend responded well, she is not a bad or disrespectful person, just very careless and clumsy and i honestly don't think she even realised!

Thanks everyone!

fromparistoberlin Thu 09-May-13 16:22:44


use greaseproof paper!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 09-May-13 16:22:37

X-post - glad to see it's sorted.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 09-May-13 16:21:50

I think your friend is the petty one not to have noticed and offered to replace it. It's tricky - do you say nothing and inwardly seethe or point it out and risk the friendship? I think I'd have to say something - but you'd hope a real friend wouldn't put you in this position in the first place.
I'm not much help, am I?

EldritchCleavage Thu 09-May-13 16:16:41

Glad it's sorted out. By the way, TK Maxx is a great place for decent, inexpensive cake tins.

jayisagirlsnametoo Thu 09-May-13 16:15:17

Hi all, sorry for not replying sooner, and thank you for all your input.

I do believe it is ruined, in the same way that a shirt would be if it had an ugly black stain on it that wouldn't wash out. It could still carry out the practical function of a shirt, but it would definitely be ruined.

It wasn't a cheap cake pan, but it wasn't overly expensive either. It is the principal of having something returned to me in a much different condition than I leant it out which bugs me. Whenever I borrow things I always make sure it is returned in the same condition, I forget that others aren't so careful! Next time (if there is a next time!) I will make sure to warn the borrower to treat it nicely!

Anyway, I texted my friend on the same night the pan was returned to me (when I wrote the OP) and she was very apologetic and said she would replace it before I suggested, and asked me where it had been bought so I know she will get me one of the same quality. Result!

Nagoo Wed 08-May-13 11:25:00

It's not ruined.

The proportionate reaction to getting a scratched pan back is this: hmm

Don't mention it.

Bricklestick Wed 08-May-13 11:18:52

Just don't lend her anything again, job done. Did she know it was non-stick?

AngryGnome Wed 08-May-13 10:45:16

It comes down to which do you value more - your cake-pan or your friend? Do you think she could have genuinely not realised the damage she has caused? She might be mortified if you bring it up, and apologise and offer to replace straightaway.

Branleuse Wed 08-May-13 10:40:59

I wouldnt say anything. It will still work

dont lend her anything again though, and if she asks why, then mention it then and then say that you wont be lending anything to anyone that you cant afford to be lose.

CSIJanner Wed 08-May-13 10:40:13

Are we talking a series of tiny scratches or chasms as they've welded carving knives into the base?

Not mocking - have seen it done. Te encore were rock cakes that bent knives

SconeInSixtySeconds Wed 08-May-13 10:34:11

I am a bit torn on this one. If it was just a bog standard circle tin then I would mention it to friend but not ask for a replacement.

However, if it was an expensive shaped tin (teddy or train or something) I would have smoke coming out of my ears and would definitely ask for a replacement.

So which was it op?

Fakebook Wed 08-May-13 10:34:03

How badly is it scratched? I doubt it will stop working from small scratches. It would annoy me too, but I'd never lend my prized possessions to anyone. (My cake tins are all from the 99p store, not even the pound shop, so not very special to me).

dufflefluffle Wed 08-May-13 10:31:01

I would never cut a cake in its tin but I would always line even a non-stick pan your case I'd let it go, know not to lend anything to this friend again and try to forget your irritation. Everyone has different standards of care for their (and others) possessions.

msrisotto Wed 08-May-13 10:27:44

Leave it and never lend her anything again.

pictish Wed 08-May-13 10:20:59

Never lend out what you can't afford to lose.

Stick to that rule and you'll do well.

AngryGnome Wed 08-May-13 10:19:42

I have recently lent a lot of baby things to my sister's in-laws, who had a baby grandson visiting from overseas.

We lent them a ball pool - came back to us with a total of 10 balls as the dog had chewed and punctured the rest. They told me it was 'hilarious'.

I also lent them a couple of Annabel Karmel/baby led weaning cookery books (the baby is weaning, and his mum was keen to read them). They have obviously had somthing spilt on them, as none of the pages will separate now (in all three books!) and are completely unsusable. It is very obvious - not only are the pages stuck together but the covers are all stained. They didn't even mention it - presumably not as 'hilarious' as the dog chewing hmm

I won't be asking for replacements, but neither will I be lending anything again in the future.

lessemin Wed 08-May-13 10:18:12

If I lent a cake tin to any of my friends I would be impressed that I got it back at all grin

Thewhingingdefective Wed 08-May-13 09:23:10

I would be peed off about it, but I wouldn't ask for a replacement. Just remember not to lend her a cake tin again!

2rebecca Wed 08-May-13 09:05:55

You can just coat the inside with greaseproof paper or the cake liners lakeland etc sell.
Googling the nonstick toxic issue it's inhaling the fumes if you heat a nonstick pan to a high temp with nothing in it that is toxic, the more academic reports say scratches are harmless.

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