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Do I ask friend to replace cake pan she ruined

(61 Posts)
jayisagirlsnametoo Wed 08-May-13 05:24:21

Hi, this is my first AIBU so please be kind! smile

I leant my friend my cake pan as she wanted to make a birthday cake for a mutual friend. When it was returned, the cake had clearly been cut in the pan as there were numerous scratches from the edge to the centre. It was non stick, but obviously now ruined by scratches. I know it isn't a huge item but I don't have a great amount of money and I'd only bought it to make a cake for someone else in the past.

Would I be unreasonable to ask for her to replace it, or does that seem petty over a cake pan?

Wowserz129 Wed 08-May-13 07:46:45

Petty to ask for a replacement, it's a cake tin.

SacreBlue Wed 08-May-13 07:48:09

V annoying when people borrow things and return them damaged, I expect it is one of those things to let go this time and don't lend the next time tho.

Khaleese Wed 08-May-13 07:48:56

Petty to ask now, i'd chalk it up to experience. Don't give her your stuff again.

pigletmania Wed 08-May-13 07:58:54

How much do you value te friendship? I personally would let it go but not lent to her again. It's not worth it really. I am sure you can buy another cake tin, go to Wilkos, Home Bargains, pound stretcher for again ones iam sure they have cheaper non stick pan, dies not have to be a branded one!

pictish Wed 08-May-13 08:07:03

I have usual.

It's a cake tin. Just a cake tin. A cake tin that will still bake a cake.

gaelicsheep Wed 08-May-13 08:16:12

Anyhow, you grease and line cake tins, no? So it will make no difference at all.

ThreeBeeOneGee Wed 08-May-13 08:20:13

It depends which you value more; the friendship or the cake pan. If it's the cake pan, then definitely ask for a replacement.

wiltingfast Wed 08-May-13 08:21:29

Definitely petty. Let it go.

And never lend anything expecting to get it back in the same condition it went. If it is that precious, don't lend.

senua Wed 08-May-13 08:26:24

You should have said something when it was returned damaged. It's too late to say something now and will appear petty.

However you are allowed - should the occasion ever arises - to loudly refuse to lend to someone else. If karma is kind it will be in earshot of friend and you can passively/aggresively explain why you no longer lend your bakeware.
OK, OK I know this will never happen but if you replay this scene in your head it will help you to get virtual closure.grin

RubyGates Wed 08-May-13 08:40:06

Maybe she didn't do the damage, but someone else (the friend for whom the cake was made perhaps?) did it.

Maybe she knows that the tin is damaged, but can't afford to replace it and is too embarrassed to mention it.

Either way I think it would be petty to mention it.

And as several other people have mentioned it's better not to buy non-stick cake pans in the first place. Cake release or greasing/flouring the tin is healthier for everyone.

Littlehousesomewhere Wed 08-May-13 08:50:35

I wouldn't ask her to replace it.

I would make a mental note to never lend her anything again.

I would also be more cautious about lending things that can get damaged easily to others.

I wouldn't use it either, scratched nonstick pans releases toxins.

2rebecca Wed 08-May-13 09:05:55

You can just coat the inside with greaseproof paper or the cake liners lakeland etc sell.
Googling the nonstick toxic issue it's inhaling the fumes if you heat a nonstick pan to a high temp with nothing in it that is toxic, the more academic reports say scratches are harmless.

Thewhingingdefective Wed 08-May-13 09:23:10

I would be peed off about it, but I wouldn't ask for a replacement. Just remember not to lend her a cake tin again!

lessemin Wed 08-May-13 10:18:12

If I lent a cake tin to any of my friends I would be impressed that I got it back at all grin

AngryGnome Wed 08-May-13 10:19:42

I have recently lent a lot of baby things to my sister's in-laws, who had a baby grandson visiting from overseas.

We lent them a ball pool - came back to us with a total of 10 balls as the dog had chewed and punctured the rest. They told me it was 'hilarious'.

I also lent them a couple of Annabel Karmel/baby led weaning cookery books (the baby is weaning, and his mum was keen to read them). They have obviously had somthing spilt on them, as none of the pages will separate now (in all three books!) and are completely unsusable. It is very obvious - not only are the pages stuck together but the covers are all stained. They didn't even mention it - presumably not as 'hilarious' as the dog chewing hmm

I won't be asking for replacements, but neither will I be lending anything again in the future.

pictish Wed 08-May-13 10:20:59

Never lend out what you can't afford to lose.

Stick to that rule and you'll do well.

msrisotto Wed 08-May-13 10:27:44

Leave it and never lend her anything again.

dufflefluffle Wed 08-May-13 10:31:01

I would never cut a cake in its tin but I would always line even a non-stick pan your case I'd let it go, know not to lend anything to this friend again and try to forget your irritation. Everyone has different standards of care for their (and others) possessions.

Fakebook Wed 08-May-13 10:34:03

How badly is it scratched? I doubt it will stop working from small scratches. It would annoy me too, but I'd never lend my prized possessions to anyone. (My cake tins are all from the 99p store, not even the pound shop, so not very special to me).

SconeInSixtySeconds Wed 08-May-13 10:34:11

I am a bit torn on this one. If it was just a bog standard circle tin then I would mention it to friend but not ask for a replacement.

However, if it was an expensive shaped tin (teddy or train or something) I would have smoke coming out of my ears and would definitely ask for a replacement.

So which was it op?

CSIJanner Wed 08-May-13 10:40:13

Are we talking a series of tiny scratches or chasms as they've welded carving knives into the base?

Not mocking - have seen it done. Te encore were rock cakes that bent knives

Branleuse Wed 08-May-13 10:40:59

I wouldnt say anything. It will still work

dont lend her anything again though, and if she asks why, then mention it then and then say that you wont be lending anything to anyone that you cant afford to be lose.

AngryGnome Wed 08-May-13 10:45:16

It comes down to which do you value more - your cake-pan or your friend? Do you think she could have genuinely not realised the damage she has caused? She might be mortified if you bring it up, and apologise and offer to replace straightaway.

Bricklestick Wed 08-May-13 11:18:52

Just don't lend her anything again, job done. Did she know it was non-stick?

Nagoo Wed 08-May-13 11:25:00

It's not ruined.

The proportionate reaction to getting a scratched pan back is this: hmm

Don't mention it.

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