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to want to kick an old lady in the shins?

(49 Posts)
DorothyMantooth Tue 07-May-13 16:40:05

Well, not really, but I am pretty upset.

DD is 6 weeks old and HATES being in her pram. Most times that she's in it she screams blue murder to the point that she starts losing her voice/coughing and spluttering. We have a BabyBjorn which she loves to be in with DH, but with me it just escalates the situation (I think proximity to milk drives her nuts, even when she's not actually hungry). I therefore don't have a means of getting out of the house that doesn't make her scream. I'm going to get a sling but have tried a friend's before and it seemed to have the same effect as the BabyBjorn - I suppose the advantage is she can actually feed in a sling.

So, today I went for lunch with some friends. While I was out (3 hours), I fed her twice and made sure she burped. On the way home I popped into a shop, where the nice sales assistant held her while I got what I needed. She was perfectly calm at this point, but when I had to put her back in the pram she went ballistic.

About halfway home, I called DH for some moral support, as DD's dislike of the pram is really getting to me and I can't bear to hear her screaming. I usually stop the pram every few minutes to comfort her, talk to her, sing to her, but the only thing that stops the screaming is for me to carry her in my arms, and it's not possible for me to carry her and push the pram at the same time. While I was on the phone I passed an old lady who tutted and said "Poor baby, it's not getting anough attention." I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I turned around and said "WHAT?", at which she repeated herself more loudly.

I know I should just nod, smile, ignore, and as my DD has a very loud and piercing cry I'm sure she really thought that she was being abused or something. But DD is adored, much cuddled and played with, and is generally a happy baby (when I don't make her go in the dreaded pram). This is my first baby and the first few weeks have been really tough (as I'm sure they are for the vast majority of people), and it's really hard sometimes not to feel like the world's worst parent. The old lady has just made me feel pretty bad about myself, which I know is ridiculous as I arrived home 30 mins ago, fed DD and now she's sleeping on me as if nothing happened.

On a practical note, does anyone have any tips for how I can make outings less stressful for both me and DD? When I was pregnant I had fantasies of going for daily walks with her but in reality there are many days that I don't get out of the house at all.

StitchAteMySleep Tue 07-May-13 16:43:59

Is it the pram mattress? Some of them can be quite thin. I had to add extra padding with my two to get them to go in our one.

5318008 Tue 07-May-13 16:46:09

well IME (I had a Screamer) it was just quicker to barrel on, no stopping every few paces to shh and soothe, just plough on, and arrive at destination in double quick time

DorothyMantooth Tue 07-May-13 16:47:57

Thanks stitch. I'm not sure - tbh both the pram and the moses basket mattress feel very hard to me! Will have a go at padding - what did you use?

wimblehorse Tue 07-May-13 16:48:16

Sympathies OP sounds tough. Can/have you tried forward/rear facing? Does dd take/have you tried a dummy? A special comforter toy (ds likes to wring a muslin in his hands/cover his face with it)? How is she in a car seat? Can you transfer her in that onto pram?

tripecity Tue 07-May-13 16:48:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eltsihT Tue 07-May-13 16:48:53

eek! I had forgotten that stage (I am 39 wks pregnant with second) my wee boy was awful in the pram/sling at that stage too.

Old ladies are often very judgemental just ignore ignore ignore, you sound like you are doing a great job,

They do get used to the pram, I think when I moved ds out of the bassinet and into the chair (at 3 months with advice of hv cause he was very long) and he could see me better he stopped objecting. I also used the baby Björn a lot with ds he just took time to get used to it.

SpottyTeacakes Tue 07-May-13 16:49:08

No advice for now but it does get easier smile ignore stupid lady. My ds has had three screaming sessions today for no reason at all confused

SuffolkNWhat Tue 07-May-13 16:49:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleballerina Tue 07-May-13 16:51:50

you're going to get lots more unhappy interfering people op sad

could you maybe borrow a friends pram and see if your dd prefers that?
or a blanket from her cot?

i really feel for you.

peeriebear Tue 07-May-13 16:51:54

Ds hated the pram for ages. I took him out wrapped in my big waterfall cardie (we didn't go very far!) and found a sling we got on with after a few weeks.
You've not experienced real parenthood until you've been disapproved of by an old lady smile mine was with DD2 in Morrisons... "She's too big to be in that buggy" oh do fuck off.

HootShoot Tue 07-May-13 16:52:30

Is she any better in the car seat? Could you use that on the pram?

alienbanana Tue 07-May-13 16:54:30

Yep, try a sheep skin liner.

And have a stock reply ready for nosy interfering people.

curryeater Tue 07-May-13 17:03:30

Congratulations on your lovely baby, OP, you are doing a great job.
I feel your pain on the pram thing. Mine didn't like it either. I really think that when your baby is tiny the greatest difference in quality of life between mothers is whether your baby will lie in the pram or not. Those whose babies do, have no idea how lucky you are!

My twopennorth:

Ignore the vile old bat
Try a mei tai
Keep trying the pram, she may well decide it's fine quite soon
Sorry to state the obvious, but are you sure she is warm enough?
If you don't feel like going anywhere, don't bother. Look after yourself

elfycat Tue 07-May-13 17:04:09

I once had people coming to look down the supermarket isle when DD1 (about 4 months) was screaming, she was that loud and it must have sounded like I was beating her. You have my sympathies with your screamer.

I once got criticised by an old lady for having a girl confused apparently she had a boy shaped head. Old people are just a bit weird * and can be readily ignored.

*diclaimer: I'm sure not ALL old people are weird, just the ones who clearly are.

DorothyMantooth Tue 07-May-13 17:09:02

Thank you lovely people, your comments make me feel much better smile. I know it's stupid to be bothered by an interfering old biddy, but I really am. I like the idea of seeing it as a rite of passage for new mothers!

tripecity - I was so shocked and was so distressed already when it happened that I just walked off. As soon as I got over the shock I was annoyed with myself for not responding and came up with a few choice words myself which I've been repeating under my breath for the last 30 mins. If only I could remember which house she was going into, would love to go and spew all this aggravation at her!

wimblehorse and HootShoot - unfortunately the car seat is the only thing she hates more than the pram!

She has a toy in her pram which she does like and chatters to on the rare instances she's not screaming. Definitely going to try a sheepskin liner.

maddening Tue 07-May-13 17:10:43

A wedge to prop her up slightly?

helenthemadex Tue 07-May-13 17:13:53

ignore the old bat and dont let it get to you

one of mine used to scream in the pram but was much better when I got a lodger bunker and wrapped her in it so you could maybe try one, or as others have suggested a sheepskin or have you tried swaddling her?

she may prefer pushchair

belfastbigmillie Tue 07-May-13 17:15:38

My DS2 was like that - up until the age of about 1.5! It was bloody awful and you have my sympathy op. Sometimes I used to push him with tears running down my face. Like your DC, he loved the sling. If it makes you feel any better - he is now 3.5 and an utter joy. He is incredibly independent and I suspect that the pram's level made him feel like he wasn't participating in life fully. The sling is high and I think meant that he could see everything like an adult. Have you tried going forward and rear facing with the pram? My Ds1 loved his pram but only if he was facing away from me! He liked to see everything that was going on. He was in a buggy style pram so was kind of propped up and could see everything, not just boring old mum and and a bit of sky! FWIW, both my boys are v bright and I do suspect that even babies get bored of a dull view.

claremp7 Tue 07-May-13 17:18:04

Have you tried a chiropractor. I'm taking my little one and they are really good. We've got a college near by so not too expensive.
I know friends who had the same problem as you and it work for them. My little one loves the pram but struggles with other things.
Does she scream in her crib/basket? If not them laying down might not be the problem. She might feel closed in?
Sorry if thats no help

VerySmallSqueak Tue 07-May-13 17:28:09

My first screamed and screamed and screamed and it just didn't matter what anyone did.
At first I used to be bothered what people thought,but I developed quite a thick skin.

I'm afraid my view is that if someone is forward enough to make a comment they can take a swift and sharp rebuttal.

VikingLady Tue 07-May-13 17:29:30

Can you try her on her tummy?

TarkaLiotta Tue 07-May-13 17:32:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madcaplady Tue 07-May-13 17:36:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fdparis Tue 07-May-13 17:38:21

Nasty old trout.
I hope one of the solutions works for you. My son loved the sheepskin option.

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