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To really not want to move? Advice and possibly stern talking to needed

(52 Posts)
Lambzig Tue 07-May-13 14:29:18

I have lived in London for all my adult life. DH and I live in SW London with two DCs in a small two bedroom house.

Since DC2 was born, we have been very squashed in this house, we cannot afford a bigger house in the area or anywhere near. I now work part time (full time wouldnt help much due to double childcare costs) and we cant afford to extend the house. We have some debt which we are struggling with too. Schools are also really overcrowded and not the best, and we might struggle to get DC 1 in anywhere near us in a couple of years. Also DH is just sick of where we live, the traffic, the noise and hates the commute into central London which he does for work most days.

DH has an option to work from a different office in a city still in the south. I didn't like that city to live in as its expensive again, but there is a nice location nearby which would give DH a short commute, but is still relatively quick into London (35 mins) for my job, we can afford a much bigger house and pay off our debt without increasing the mortgage (have seen one we love) so less money worries, the schools are fabulous, naice shops, lots for the kids to do, it seems a nice community and DH is really excited.

We just got an offer on our house and I am in floods of tears. I don't want to leave here and I am so worried we are making a mistake as there will be no going back as we be going for a slightly cheaper house than our current one.

On the other hand, I don't know why I am hanging on to london. I only have one friend in the area as they have moved out, one of my closest friends is going to be much nearer and I very, very rarely go to central London for anything but work since the kids were born. I think I need to face up to the reality that I can't afford to live in London anymore.

Has anyone else moved out and either loved it or hated it? Should we just stay here and squash the children or am I being ridiculous? Do I need to get a grip and do what is best for the whole family.

flipflump Wed 08-May-13 09:10:57

We moved out last year and it's the best thing we have ever done! I thought I'd miss my old life, our house, the shops, bright lights of the city, how wrong was I?!

We've made more friends in 6 months than I'd made in 12 years in London. We have everything we need here, ok, Harvey Nic's and Selfridges aren't accessible these days, but we can all live without them.

We now enjoy the simple things, country walks, cycling, gardening, having a local where people know your name. We have been back to London once since we left, having thought we'd visit often to get our London fix. I now find the tubes hot and exhausting and people are less friendly (I'd have defended Londoners to the death whilst living there)

You have to think about what London gives you that no where else can - do you use museums and galleries often? Do you eat in lots of different restaurants? Are the shops exclusive? Do you visit all the big attractions? Like I said, thought we'd miss it and now realise how wrong we were. We will of course take our children to visit and it's always there if we feel the urge but life doesn't revolve around London.

DIYapprentice Wed 08-May-13 09:44:35

We moved out of London nearly 5 years ago now. DS1 was born in London, DS2 was born here. We are a commute out of London - about 45 mins by train. But we picked a very rural spot. Yes, if we want to go somewhere we need to drive a lot.

But we have found a lovely house in a small rural village, the DSs go to an infant school and nursery in the village. It's taken some time, but I've made some good friends here. Moving with young children is perhaps when you will find it the easiest to make friends, as you will be meeting a lot of other mums at nursery and school runs.

DH has now joined the local cricket team for Sunday afternoon games, we attend the local church, and really feel a part of the community. And I LOVE my trips into London to work now!!! smile

The DSs have so much fun playing in our large garden, exploring our local woodlands, we see deer in our garden (not so nice when they eat our veg!!) and have lots of sheep nearby. We even have newts in our pond!

There is no way any of us would have this in London.

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